Can very social people have their own social disadvantages?

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Callista
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26 Nov 2011, 1:49 am

People with better social skills tend to have somewhat more difficulty understanding themselves and defining their own identity. They are so connected to others that they don't quite think of themselves as independent units, the way introverts do; and so they define themselves partly by their social stature and partly by what others think of them. Extroverts tend to be worse at understanding themselves, and better at understanding others. Introverts, on the other hand, are usually more self-aware and less aware of others.

That's not to say that socially adept people can't develop a good self-concept; they usually do, just like anyone does. It's just a bit more difficult for them.

It's all a trade-off, a difference in focus. Anyhow, I'd much rather have lots of different sorts of people in the world than all the same sort. The world's more interesting like this.


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26 Nov 2011, 3:19 am

I always thought being socially inept didn't necessarily mean being quiet and shy. But main streamers tended to think the opposite. At least where I lived (America).

Being socially adept means being able to blend in at the appropriate calibration. One can't be too quiet or too loud. however in this imperfect world, the overly obnoxious loud people tend to somewhat get a pass. At least they are not taken advantage of as much as introverted Aspies.

As some1 mentioned above, NT extroverts tend to lack inhibition and act up in ways that are quite cringe worthy. In one particular instance, I once knew an NT extroverted girl from a previous job who shamelessly flirted with every guy she could. She was outrageously outgoing and somehow people tolerated her because she "meant well."

One day I decided to real life troll and told her I didn't like her. She took to heart. She went from having the best day of her life to being depressed in a matter of seconds. She had a meltdown right then and there.


Lesson for me that day: NTs have feelings too. But they don't mind making a big scene in front of everyone.