Teen Relationships



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sunquan8094
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Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:28 pm

Why do teens date? I never understood why.

Whenever I see a teen "couple," I get kind of mad inside, not because I'm not in one, but because I believe they should not be together. They're probably not even at the age of consent yet. I also question whether they are really "in love." The person you are with is probably not someone you're going to marry during adulthood, or you're just playing a silly game.

I also think that teen relationships are a waste of time, energy, and money. Time is wasted because you could be doing other things with the time that you spend with your "partner." Energy is wasted because it takes energy to convey that you love someone through any medium, whether it be nonverbal media or face-to-face. Money is wasted because they will go to bus fares, gas money, gifts, food, and so on. I wouldn't waste the precious resources that you have.

Is anybody able to tell me why? Thanks.


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SoftlyStepping
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Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:35 pm

90% of teens have had sex. Yes, it happens. No, they won't stop.

As to why. It boils down to biology. It's fun.



LexF
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Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:40 pm

sunquan8094 wrote:
I also think that teen relationships are a waste of time, energy, and money.


As far as I'm concerned, that's pretty much true of all relationships. Why pick on the teens?



AstroGeek
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Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:43 pm

Teen relationships basically boil down to practice for later, I think. And hormones, of course.



Chronos
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 12:52 am

sunquan8094 wrote:
Why do teens date? I never understood why.

Whenever I see a teen "couple," I get kind of mad inside, not because I'm not in one, but because I believe they should not be together. They're probably not even at the age of consent yet. I also question whether they are really "in love." The person you are with is probably not someone you're going to marry during adulthood, or you're just playing a silly game.

I also think that teen relationships are a waste of time, energy, and money. Time is wasted because you could be doing other things with the time that you spend with your "partner." Energy is wasted because it takes energy to convey that you love someone through any medium, whether it be nonverbal media or face-to-face. Money is wasted because they will go to bus fares, gas money, gifts, food, and so on. I wouldn't waste the precious resources that you have.

Is anybody able to tell me why? Thanks.


You are overlooking two very important things. Humans had a tendency to die early in pre-historic times. It was unusual for people to live into their 50's and there were high morality rates so families were usually started early. In many societies, girls are/were married off when they reached puberty.

In the context of modern western society, teen dating serves as a way for people to develop social skills with respect to romantic relationships. You're correct in that many of these couples don't love each other, but many of them think they do, and one thing they learn during this process is what love is and what love isn't. They learn what romantic relationships are really about, what they want in a partner, what they don't want in a partner, and everything about how to socialize on a romantic level.



CrinklyCrustacean
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 12:57 am

Chronos wrote:
You are overlooking two very important things. Humans had a tendency to die early in pre-historic times. It was unusual for people to live into their 50's and there were high morality rates

Did you mean mortality?



g_is_squee
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:03 am

sunquan8094 wrote:
Why do teens date? I never understood why.

Whenever I see a teen "couple," I get kind of mad inside, not because I'm not in one, but because I believe they should not be together. They're probably not even at the age of consent yet. I also question whether they are really "in love." The person you are with is probably not someone you're going to marry during adulthood, or you're just playing a silly game.

I also think that teen relationships are a waste of time, energy, and money. Time is wasted because you could be doing other things with the time that you spend with your "partner." Energy is wasted because it takes energy to convey that you love someone through any medium, whether it be nonverbal media or face-to-face. Money is wasted because they will go to bus fares, gas money, gifts, food, and so on. I wouldn't waste the precious resources that you have.

Is anybody able to tell me why? Thanks.


They probably aren't at the age of consent. They probably aren't in love or will stay in the relationship into adult hood.

Teen relationships are about practicing for real relationships in adulthood. Dating does take time and money and a great deal of vulnerability regardless of age.

Dating doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming. Some great short dates can be had for little or no money (public parks, libraries,etc). Sometimes you have to put forth some resources to get a result - some people find this process enjoyable, while others are happy once they are in a committed relationship.

If you haven't tried dating yet, you may want to give it a try sometime when you feel you are ready.



SoftlyStepping
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:24 am

It's a process of learning what love is. And it means different things at different stages of a person's development.



Chronos
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:01 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Chronos wrote:
You are overlooking two very important things. Humans had a tendency to die early in pre-historic times. It was unusual for people to live into their 50's and there were high morality rates

Did you mean mortality?


Yes....I highly doubt our ancestors would meet our definition of moral.



Asp-Z
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:48 am

SoftlyStepping wrote:
90% of teens have had sex. Yes, it happens. No, they won't stop.

As to why. It boils down to biology. It's fun.


Couldn't have put it better myself.

BTW, when it comes to the age of consent, that's actually 14-15 throughout most of Europe. America's just a dinosaur.



Ollytheaspie
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:55 am

Teen relationships? yeah they don't last! Met my girls of my dreams and ended in disaster, wish I would have met her when I was in my early twenties for sure.



SoftlyStepping
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 11:52 am

Short term relationships teach a person what a relationship is.

It's the fullness of a long term relationship squeezed into a tiny package that a beginner can understand.

People who go for the long term relationship usually over-commit and bomb out. And deal with a unusually hard breakup.

Far better to go for short term relationships. Then you have the experience and knowledge to form a long term relationship.



CrinklyCrustacean
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Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:22 am

sunquan8094 wrote:
Why do teens date? I never understood why.[...]I also question whether they are really "in love."

I understand from others that most people don't actually fall in love until they have been in the committed relationship for some time.



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