50 Reasons Why Some Women Date Jerks

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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Apr 2014, 1:32 am

51- They are not aspies.



Klowglas
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30 Apr 2014, 2:28 am

Hopper wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Hopper wrote:
As others earlier (way, way, way earlier) said, and as the OP essentially confirms - it's far more pertinent to ask why some men are so obsessed with this idea.

Still, it's nice to see such a change of heart, and it did put me in mind of '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover', and from there a few Simon and Garfunkel numbers, so a pretty pleasant thread, all in all.


Because there are men in this world without power (nice guys), whom can do infinitely more with a woman's affection than a jerk can ever hope to achieve, and who can reciprocate her emotions on a much more intimate and mutual level.

Women need to learn to love a man in weakness, because a man in weakness will have the tenderness she needs to feel emotionally secure -- in giving her affection to the jerk she denies herself of that, and denies the nice guy of company. I have zero doubt that this is the root cause of a lot of loneliness in this world. People are just too obsessed with power.


Mindful of the jerk that lives in us all and occasionally makes a much regretted appearance as I am, there are far more women with non-jerks than jerks. Sometimes these men are outright jerks, and your best bet is to ask the individual woman why she's with said jerk.

The more common and numerous jerk is the one who at first appears to not be so, but whose jerkdom gradually becomes apparent. Like the much abused frog who must be slowly boiled alive in the metaphorical saucepan time and again to illustrate a point, the women may take some time to realise that, damn, this is not a passing phase and they're with jerks.

And some men are just pretty much plain decent, and they too enjoy the attention and affection of women, and reciprocate in kind.

And some men have no or bad luck with women, and some of these concoct all sorts of theories for this, bewildered by how come that jerk has women tripping over themselves and each other to be with him, whilst the luckless are bereft. In the same way trying to interperet someone's dream is nowhere near as fruitful as asking them what they think it could mean, so these theories say little about women - be it in general or those who are sleeping with/seeing/married to jerks - but a lot about the theorisers.


Nice guys do win but that's not until they've acquired other avenues for power. For the jerk, the women is mislead into believing he's not all that bad because what she ultimately latches on to is his power, which is his over-inflated sense of self, which makes him appear *VERY* confident. The most confident guy on this planet will be full of himself but it's that sort of assertiveness that a woman wants to feel 'secure' or protected. She actively seeks this out as one of the most desirable traits, but it's a trait that the jerk has learned to master.

Women need to remember less confident guys because less confident guys are more sensitive/receptive to them, this type of guy doesn't show much confidence but that's because he preserved that soft side of himself, he IS vulnerable and it shows, but it's through this that he develops a lot empathy and softness which will allow the woman to feel more whole and connect, additionally it makes him a very effective parent (this sort of person is TERRIFIED that they might not make a good parent, and so they will do everything in their power to make sure they don't screw up).

But jerks -- they have the keys to the kingdom from get the go -- an inflated sense of self does wonders to woo a woman. Jerks are extremely confident and they're rewarded for that.

But that's my message to women -- we live in a world where both men and women are both obsessed with power, but because fragile guys will appear less confident, perhaps even wimpy, that means they will be passed over until they've acquired another avenue for power, but that might take a LONG time.

Not tying to single out women as being power-hungry, but that they have a different form of contending with its allure, a man would sometimes seek power just to be rewarded with sex, which brings him to mistreating women as if they were possessions.



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30 Apr 2014, 3:04 am

51. She counts on the "jerk" only being a "jerk" towards others, but not to her.



Eureka13
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30 Apr 2014, 7:41 am

Jerks do NOT hold the keys to the kingdom. This discussion is beginning to sound like (I can't remember which comedian) who said "when I'm driving, everyone who goes slower than me is an idiot; everyone who goes faster is a maniac." Honestly, a lot of the discussion here sounds "everyone who gets a girl is a jerk."



Hopper
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30 Apr 2014, 8:01 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO6b_VGi0x8[/youtube]Heres how it goes! :lol:


This tells us nothing about women, but a lot about the mind of the creator and those who agree. Certainly, this isn't 'woman logic', but rather 'person-with-appalingly-low-self-esteem logic'. If you think such things are synonomous, you may want to reflect on that.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

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Klowglas
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30 Apr 2014, 2:18 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
Jerks do NOT hold the keys to the kingdom. This discussion is beginning to sound like (I can't remember which comedian) who said "when I'm driving, everyone who goes slower than me is an idiot; everyone who goes faster is a maniac." Honestly, a lot of the discussion here sounds "everyone who gets a girl is a jerk."


Well I'm talking about from the get-go, women are drawn to power (like everyone else) a 17 year old male does not have ANY power except for the confidence he might display, giving the jerk a massive head-start. (hence why young women tend to date older guys, not because the older guys are more mature, but because they hold more power).

Non-jerks have to catch up because they have to find power elsewhere, which does take a lot of time, woman eventually find them but that's after they've established their careers, which can take quite awhile, and god help them if they've chosen a wrong thing to study.



Eureka13
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30 Apr 2014, 3:49 pm

I would beg to differ from the view that only jerks have power and/or self-confidence. But I don't disagree that some (note that I said some, not most, certainly not all) women do seem to prefer jerks. Personally, I think that's an indication of a very immature woman. As is jerkdom an indication of a very immature man.



Hopper
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30 Apr 2014, 5:09 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
I would beg to differ from the view that only jerks have power and/or self-confidence. But I don't disagree that some (note that I said some, not most, certainly not all) women do seem to prefer jerks. Personally, I think that's an indication of a very immature woman. As is jerkdom an indication of a very immature man.


But the thing is, it would be really great if there was something inherently appealing about jerks for women, because it would be a good explanation as to why some men have trouble with the ladies - they're too nice.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Eureka13
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30 Apr 2014, 5:18 pm

Hopper wrote:
Eureka13 wrote:
I would beg to differ from the view that only jerks have power and/or self-confidence. But I don't disagree that some (note that I said some, not most, certainly not all) women do seem to prefer jerks. Personally, I think that's an indication of a very immature woman. As is jerkdom an indication of a very immature man.


But the thing is, it would be really great if there was something inherently appealing about jerks for women, because it would be a good explanation as to why some men have trouble with the ladies - they're too nice.


What can I say - I'm the resident heretic. ;)



DukeJanTheGrey
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30 Apr 2014, 5:23 pm

Someone is bitter.



Mitrovah
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30 Apr 2014, 9:13 pm

I generally don't mind if women date jerks, they deserve the bastards they date, The problem is when they start reproducing, creating more little spawn who are just as mean and virile who go on to ruin the lives of other people. The more they breed the more political power they obtain, and the more of them there the more acceptable bad amoral if not immoral behavior becomes. Bullies breed bullies that is a fact.



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01 May 2014, 2:00 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eld4BIGiB9Y[/youtube]


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baronobeefdip
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02 May 2014, 2:02 pm

Let's face it, I often feel sorry for these girls since they don't have a "BS detector". I will never understand a persons attraction towards people with Histrionic Personality DIsorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder (these guys usually end up murdering them, a horribly vicious outcome but isn't rare. This is a common behavior contained in the character that one would classify as a "jerk"), and Mallenby effect. Maybe because they are attracted to abusive people, or it's from psychological abuse, I swear some of these guys have very gifted psychological abilities that puts them in control of every situation, and keeping girls from leaving. evidently some girls are vulnerable to psychological abuse and as a result end up staying with such characters. This is how cult leaders operate. What gets them these girls in the first place are usually their persona that they manage to establish is various social situations. First comes the false confidence, Where the subject starts expressing behaviors that come off as being confident such as mistreating others. This works to some effect but exposing their true personality isn't easy or safe. We next see the guys that entrap these girls into their lives with material objects (cars, expensive jewlery, and half-baked signs of affection). Another reason might be because these girls have a pention for these guys maybe because they are adrenaline junkies, or have odd interests in what they seek to deliver into their lives.Either way, These relationships don't last, if marriage comes up the road, things go south because of domestic abuse. These men always have behavioral traits that entails such outcomes in the future. Personally I gave up getting dates altogether since my characteristics aren't as interesting as the typical college guy that isn't attending for his degree as much as he there to prey on unsuspecting women. Luckily there isn't a lot of these roaming my campus. Not only do I find it expensive but you are also entrusted with many more responsibilities that makes life a living hell having to juggle current obligations with hers.



baronobeefdip
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02 May 2014, 2:14 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
I would beg to differ from the view that only jerks have power and/or self-confidence. But I don't disagree that some (note that I said some, not most, certainly not all) women do seem to prefer jerks. Personally, I think that's an indication of a very immature woman. As is jerkdom an indication of a very immature man.

From my past experiences, I don't believe these guys have any confidence to begin with. If they did they wouldn't be picking on others in order to compensate for that lack of confidence. Something about mistreating others making themselves appear superior makes them more feel more confident. Women usually go for the most interesting or in the least the guys that either always manages to get what he wants or knows how to get what he wants. Even if it involves their fists (and guns in some cases). I believe that if these guys regarded themselves more interesting than all the others they wouldn't act this way. (and where do you think all of the expensive toys equal small penis jokes always come from, expensive toys always seem to compensate for insecurities. for reasons I don't understand women find that attractive). My confidence remains neutral and in fact I don't care if anyone finds me boring because I couldn't give a rats ass. I will leave you this, The ones with Intermittent Explosive Disorder are fun to pick on subtly. It's not hard since they get pissed off at every misfortune that comes their way and often ends in the back of a police cruiser.



onewithstrange
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02 May 2014, 11:10 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
Jerks do NOT hold the keys to the kingdom. This discussion is beginning to sound like (I can't remember which comedian) who said "when I'm driving, everyone who goes slower than me is an idiot; everyone who goes faster is a maniac." Honestly, a lot of the discussion here sounds "everyone who gets a girl is a jerk."


George Carlin, RIP.


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03 May 2014, 1:24 am

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsfeNLgJM2U[/youtube] So just be a jerk and youll do fine! Maybe be a chauvanist pig too! :roll:


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