Why do NTs believe dancing is for everyone?

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Fnord
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26 Nov 2011, 5:12 pm

Before you can eat, you gotta dance like Fred Astaire!


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Sparhawke
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26 Nov 2011, 6:51 pm

I categorically CAN NOT dance, I have never been able to find any sense of rhythm and when I do try I end up doing ancient dancing that is so completely wrong to make even those people who would normally be considered odd look at me with something approaching pity lol


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NathanealWest
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27 Nov 2011, 4:22 am

I think I dance pretty well. I can find rhythm and sometimes I drop out and follow the melody or the words because I can follow that too. I have alot of style and flair for it despite being a pretty big guy. I think that I have just stimmed for such a period in my life that dancing just follows naturally.



CockneyRebel
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27 Nov 2011, 9:05 am

It's because they believe that everything that's upbeat is for everybody like Top 40, dancing and American Idol.


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28 Nov 2011, 9:49 am

The doctor who diagnosed me with PDD-NOS told me that if I would like to challenge myself, I should enroll in a dance class. (In other words, I love the idea of dancing but I just can't dance.) I don't understand. Most NTs who are good at singing and dancing seem to believe that everyone can sing and dance well. Whenever I say that I can't sing along because of my tone-deafness, most NTs show me the "Oh? Are you kidding me?" look. My problem? The rest of my family are so good at singing and dancing. My sis often claims that she is a lousy dancer, then proceeds to show off dance steps. (Yes, I'm aware that she is boasting.)



AdamDZ
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28 Nov 2011, 9:58 am

Because you should be dancing ? Dancing is something humans do and have been for thousands of years. But that doesn't mean everyone has to like it or be good at it. I don't like to dance either although I like music and enjoy watching others dance (if they're good at it).



Last edited by AdamDZ on 28 Nov 2011, 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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28 Nov 2011, 10:00 am

i do not dance.
even when i am playing an energetic set of notes on my keyboard, i remain still.


i find dancing people to be quite funny. when i see people dancing on TV, i sometimes switch the sound off, and then they all look like puppets bouncing around on the strings of a jittery puppeteer.

when the sound is on, they still look silly, but the music distracts me from the essence of the humerous aspect of it.

when i am (extremely rarely) at a venue where dancing is practiced, i find watching unprofessional dancers to be exceptionally funny.

i have to mask my face and leave, because if i do not, i will expel my lungs from my chest (figuratively).

sometimes i laugh so hard that i can not find an available second to take a new breath, and i become worried (even though i am still laughing uncontrollably) that i may suffocate.

it is like being tickled by a monster who will not let up even when you start to cry.

i do not dance.



jayroo79
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28 Nov 2011, 1:11 pm

I *love* to dance. But only if I like the song. Otherwise it becomes a chore. I love moving my body in weird and new ways and I can accomplish this through dance. I'm not concerned with how I look to others or what they think of my dancing. Mind you I am gracious when I receive compliments but my dancing is for me, and if I'm dancing with someone to some extent my partner. But in essence... I just go into my own world and feel the pulse of the music and move. I take great joy in that.

People who tend to not like dancing are concerned with how they look.


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readingbetweenlines
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28 Nov 2011, 1:19 pm

hanyo wrote:
I don't and won't dance and no one can make me.

100% correct.

I'm NT and I for one certainly don't think it's for everyone. That's because I am an individual and not part of a homogeneous mass.


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Cash__
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28 Nov 2011, 10:43 pm

People dancing look like camels in heat.



hartzofspace
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29 Nov 2011, 1:51 pm

Cash__ wrote:
People dancing look like camels in heat.

It depends upon what kind of people and what kind of dancing! :wink:


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StuckWithin
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29 Nov 2011, 3:53 pm

Very interesting question!

I would assume that if you hear a tune you enjoy, and your spirit feels like moving, provided your body has the elasticity and ability to follow along, then dancing should not be a problem. But, if your body is stiff, then of course you won't enjoy it. Some of us do have that stiffness that just makes it awkward.



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12 Jun 2020, 9:05 am

As usual, NTs don't always say what they mean and mean what they say. I think what the statement really means is that dancing can be for everyone. It doesn't need to be, but anyone can embrace it.

That means if you find the right venue and/or instructor that matches your thinking style, anyone can learn to dance and even embrace it. The problem is freestyle dancing, which is "just following the beat", a skill NTs naturally have and aspies don't. This can be overcome by taking dances lessons in formal dances: swing, Latin, and hip-hop. I myself started doing that back in 2003 or 2004, and continued on-and-off ever since. I can't even begin to explain how helpful learning to dance has been for me, both for meeting women and for social situations in general. On every cruise I took, dancing was front-and-center, as far as evening activities were concerned, and I was able to jump right into the action.

Swing in particular runs in 4/4 time, the same time signature as most contemporary pop music (which you can swing dance to sometimes), so follow that for your rhythm. Most people know at least the basic steps for it, so it'll be easy to find a dance partner too. The solo freestyle moves can be found on YouTube, or even taught in a few dance schools. Sadly, I can't explain this in more detail, since dancing is now at the NT level for me, due to the length of time I've been doing it. (Except for this year, when Corona threw a monkey wrench into it.)



Fnord
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12 Jun 2020, 9:08 am

8.5 years between posts ... sorry, not a new record!

:D


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LisaM1031
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12 Jun 2020, 10:30 am

I don’t get this either. I never really learned how to dance. Some people can just hear music and automatically know how to move their body while I just stand there stumped. Also there have been times where I will be at a wedding or something when everyone is dancing and having a good time and it’s like all the NTs are absorbing each other’s excitement and I just stand there unaffected by it. It’s like they all have some kind of excitement “receptors” that I just don’t have in my body. Not sure if this is an Aspie thing.



Aspie1
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12 Jun 2020, 10:59 am

LisaM1031 wrote:
I don’t get this either. I never really learned how to dance. Some people can just hear music and automatically know how to move their body while I just stand there stumped. Also there have been times where I will be at a wedding or something when everyone is dancing and having a good time and it’s like all the NTs are absorbing each other’s excitement and I just stand there unaffected by it. It’s like they all have some kind of excitement “receptors” that I just don’t have in my body. Not sure if this is an Aspie thing.
I know exactly what you're referring to. I used to be like that before I learned to dance at age 21. After that, everything changed. I was able to join in on the dancing action by asking a friendly-looking woman to dance. (This wasn't true for nightclubs, though, where dancing is about sexual competition, rather than having a good time.)

My regret is not learning to dance in high school. Although back then, the culture was such that if you were a guy taking dance lessons, you DIDN'T DARE LET ANYBODY FIND OUT. Because if they did, they'd make you want to drop off the face of the earth. Today, when I tell people about it, both men and women compliment me for doing that. Oh my, what a big difference 20 years can make.