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beneficii
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23 Jan 2014, 7:36 pm

pensieve wrote:
Manic for 12 days and now I'm finally coming down from it. I want to distract myself but I'm struggling with my usual motivations. I just want to practice bass but it's kind of broken now so I can't play it. The one thing that could make me happy. Also, gig are coming up but I don't know which one to go to. I need a photo pass for one and I've not heard back from the band who are my friends regarding it. The next gig would involve flights and booking hotels in a city I've never been to before. I would need an extreme about of motivation and impuslivity to go but I don't have that anymore.

So I'm at a loss about what to do. I should just rest and face the thoughts that are yet to come. It's going to crush me but I've been running on turbo for almost two weeks.

Edit: I apologize if I was a complete a*** to people on the forum during my manic episode.


I found that your posts, when I saw them, were generally polite and well-written.


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Ashariel
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24 Jan 2014, 10:50 am

I'm definitely sinking more and more into depression. But I'm grateful that my cycles are fairly predictable (and oddly enough, follow the moon's cycle) – so I'm bound to start feeling better in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime I think I'm going to sign up for a month of World of Warcraft, to give me something happy to focus on. I'm having massive ADHD problems lately, and WoW is one of the only things that can hold my attention when I get like that!

Hi to everyone else in this thread... It's always a challenge, isn't it?!



pensieve
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24 Jan 2014, 5:43 pm

I have an anxious skin crawling feeling that makes me want to burst into tears. I don't feel depressed but then I do. Mixed episodes are the worst but you're right, none of this lasts. I need to just keep myself busy like I've been doing for the past two weeks.
I think I'll go play some Iron Man 3 and Robo Cop has been pretty fun. I've only got them on my iPad.


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pensieve
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24 Jan 2014, 5:47 pm

beneficii wrote:
pensieve wrote:
Manic for 12 days and now I'm finally coming down from it. I want to distract myself but I'm struggling with my usual motivations. I just want to practice bass but it's kind of broken now so I can't play it. The one thing that could make me happy. Also, gig are coming up but I don't know which one to go to. I need a photo pass for one and I've not heard back from the band who are my friends regarding it. The next gig would involve flights and booking hotels in a city I've never been to before. I would need an extreme about of motivation and impuslivity to go but I don't have that anymore.

So I'm at a loss about what to do. I should just rest and face the thoughts that are yet to come. It's going to crush me but I've been running on turbo for almost two weeks.

Edit: I apologize if I was a complete a*** to people on the forum during my manic episode.


I found that your posts, when I saw them, were generally polite and well-written.


Thank you. I thought I over reacted in my 'delusions' thread. Maybe I'm not delusional but have a belief system that gets more intense when manic. But as a science minded person I find it strange that I have those beliefs at all. They seem to help me through anxious and depressive phases. I just hate being told I have BPD.


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pensieve
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25 Jan 2014, 6:16 pm

Uhhh. It's gonna be a bad day.


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Ashariel
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18 Feb 2014, 11:35 am

I've been hypomanic for the past week or so (but didn't bother mentioning it here, because I was having too much fun doing other things!) But now it's swinging the other way, and my outlook is much more depressive.

I find it interesting how it affects my attitude toward replying to a forum post here on WP. This past week when I was hypomanic, I'd see a new topic and think "awesome, yeah, I can totally relate to that" – and would feel compelled to add my 2 cents, whether it was worth anything or not.

But now I look at new topics and I think "whatever; yes I can relate to this, but there's no real point in replying." And I just feel kind of zoned out and foggy and vague, like nothing really matters.



rocknrollslc
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28 Feb 2014, 2:38 pm

Feel like nothing matters too, blehhh....can't sleep, can't stay awake... reckon it's about time to see the doc for adderall and the dreaded antidepressants... :(



aussiebloke
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28 Feb 2014, 3:49 pm

rocknrollslc wrote:
Feel like nothing matters too, blehhh....can't sleep, can't stay awake... reckon it's about time to see the doc for adderall and the dreaded antidepressants... :(


this mindset is not helpful I would be dead with out them .....


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rocknrollslc
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28 Feb 2014, 4:40 pm

Sorry, but I was just expressing myself, I don't like taking drugs :(



aussiebloke
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28 Feb 2014, 5:08 pm

rocknrollslc wrote:
Sorry, but I was just expressing myself, I don't like taking drugs :(


that's ok , nor do I, that brainwashing frightened me from taking them for many years , my family have a "Tom Cruise " mindset of these things, their "mind altering drugs" I am told :roll: and scientology is not ?


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aussiebloke
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03 Mar 2014, 7:44 pm

ok not depressive all ways new I wasn't ,didn't know I had anxiety + panic , how on earth could it be so bad 8O , since anxiety/depression are often two sides to the same coin this may be of use to somebody or perhaps not since I doubt anybody is reading this, I can only try :roll:

www.wrongplanet.net/postt253404.html


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Last edited by aussiebloke on 04 Mar 2014, 4:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

micromandolins
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03 Mar 2014, 9:38 pm

Otherside wrote:
T1nd1v1dual wrote:
I have high anxiety, depression and apparent bi-polar. I started taking a medication after years of denial (Atarax), but it seemed to make my heart flutter more, so I had to stop after getting the second container. I really need to try some antidepressants because I don't want a horrible year like this again where I have intense self-hatred and examination every day. I have learned my lesson though hopefully. It is always important to greet strangers with kindness, even if they appear miserable, untrustworthy, or just plain mean. And if you're nervous around women while staring at them, you will seem creepy. I WILL finally improve my self confidence next year. No more bullshitting like these last few years. Mostly anyway!


If you are bipolar, don't take anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer, or unsupervised. It can make bipolar worse, and send you into a manic state.

I hope things work out for you though, and that this is a good year.

It would have been cool if the professionals I saw told me this. I read about it somewhere else last month and talked to my psychiatrist about getting off the anti-depressant I had been on since middle school (seriously) and just sticking with my mood stabilizer. I've been dealing with mixed episodes and rapid cycling since I was sixteen, before I even really knew what those terms meant. I have two family members with Bipolar Disorder and had a feeling I would get it too. But because I've seen therapists and psychiatrists who are extremely hesitant to diagnose young people and are apparently not very educated about Cyclothymia, I didn't get officially diagnosed until I was referred to someone who did psychological testing on me last spring (at age 20). I started telling people I thought I was Bipolar when I was 17 - but I was being a "hypochondriac" teenager. I've had to deal with this s**t entirely on my own for five years because nobody told me what to do - I've spent years researching, going on forums, and trying to figure out my patterns/triggers. I'm finally off the medication I was forced to take that made my symptoms even worse. I know I'm on the right track now but it's been hell getting here.

I was just looking through this thread and this post inspired that rant. I recently "self-diagnosed" myself with Aspergers (Autism runs in my family as well) and I'm working on getting an official diagnosis. I keep wondering which of my symptoms are a result of which disorder (or a combination of the two). I have lots of friends on the Bipolar spectrum as well as the Autism spectrum (although we rarely talk about any of it) and I feel like I can't fully relate to them as much as I'd like because they don't experience both. I'm glad I found a place to talk about these things, and I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences with them.



micromandolins
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03 Mar 2014, 9:38 pm

Otherside wrote:
T1nd1v1dual wrote:
I have high anxiety, depression and apparent bi-polar. I started taking a medication after years of denial (Atarax), but it seemed to make my heart flutter more, so I had to stop after getting the second container. I really need to try some antidepressants because I don't want a horrible year like this again where I have intense self-hatred and examination every day. I have learned my lesson though hopefully. It is always important to greet strangers with kindness, even if they appear miserable, untrustworthy, or just plain mean. And if you're nervous around women while staring at them, you will seem creepy. I WILL finally improve my self confidence next year. No more bullshitting like these last few years. Mostly anyway!


If you are bipolar, don't take anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer, or unsupervised. It can make bipolar worse, and send you into a manic state.

I hope things work out for you though, and that this is a good year.

It would have been cool if the professionals I saw told me this. I read about it somewhere else last month and talked to my psychiatrist about getting off the anti-depressant I had been on since middle school (seriously) and just sticking with my mood stabilizer. I've been dealing with mixed episodes and rapid cycling since I was sixteen, before I even really knew what those terms meant. I have two family members with Bipolar Disorder and had a feeling I would get it too. But because I've seen therapists and psychiatrists who are extremely hesitant to diagnose young people and are apparently not very educated about Cyclothymia, I didn't get officially diagnosed until I was referred to someone who did psychological testing on me last spring (at age 20). I started telling people I thought I was Bipolar when I was 17 - but I was being a "hypochondriac" teenager. I've had to deal with this s**t entirely on my own for five years because nobody told me what to do - I've spent years researching, going on forums, and trying to figure out my patterns/triggers. I'm finally off the medication I was forced to take that made my symptoms even worse. I know I'm on the right track now but it's been hell getting here.

I was just looking through this thread and this post inspired that rant. I recently "self-diagnosed" myself with Aspergers (Autism runs in my family as well) and I'm working on getting an official diagnosis. I keep wondering which of my symptoms are a result of which disorder (or a combination of the two). I have lots of friends on the Bipolar spectrum as well as the Autism spectrum (although we rarely talk about any of it) and I feel like I can't fully relate to them as much as I'd like because they don't experience both. I'm glad I found a place to talk about these things, and I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences with them.



micromandolins
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03 Mar 2014, 9:45 pm

Otherside wrote:
T1nd1v1dual wrote:
I have high anxiety, depression and apparent bi-polar. I started taking a medication after years of denial (Atarax), but it seemed to make my heart flutter more, so I had to stop after getting the second container. I really need to try some antidepressants because I don't want a horrible year like this again where I have intense self-hatred and examination every day. I have learned my lesson though hopefully. It is always important to greet strangers with kindness, even if they appear miserable, untrustworthy, or just plain mean. And if you're nervous around women while staring at them, you will seem creepy. I WILL finally improve my self confidence next year. No more bullshitting like these last few years. Mostly anyway!


If you are bipolar, don't take anti-depressants without a mood stabilizer, or unsupervised. It can make bipolar worse, and send you into a manic state.

I hope things work out for you though, and that this is a good year.

It would have been great if the professionals I saw told me this. I read about it somewhere else last month and talked to my psychiatrist about getting off the anti-depressant I had been on since middle school (seriously) and just sticking with my mood stabilizer. I asked her following my last mixed episode. I've been dealing with mixed episodes and rapid cycling since I was sixteen, before I even really knew what those terms meant. I have two family members with Bipolar Disorder and had a feeling I would get it too. But because I've seen therapists and psychiatrists who are extremely hesitant to diagnose young people and are apparently not very educated about Cyclothymia, I didn't get officially diagnosed until I was referred to someone who did psychological testing on me last spring (at age 20). I started telling people I thought I was Bipolar when I was 17 - but I was being a "hypochondriac" teenager. I've had to deal with this s**t entirely on my own for five years because nobody told me what to do - I've spent years researching, going on forums, and trying to figure out my patterns/triggers. I'm finally off the medication I was forced to take that made my symptoms even worse. I know I'm on the right track now but it's been hell getting here.

I was just looking through this thread and this post inspired that rant. I recently "self-diagnosed" myself with Aspergers (Autism runs in my family as well) and I'm working on getting an official diagnosis. I keep wondering which of my symptoms are a result of which disorder (or a combination of the two). I have lots of friends on the Bipolar spectrum as well as the Autism spectrum (although we rarely talk about any of it) and I feel like I can't fully relate to them as much as I'd like because they don't experience both. I'm glad I found a place to talk about these things, and I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences with them.



micromandolins
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03 Mar 2014, 9:47 pm

Didn't mean to post three times. I got some error message and thought it didn't go through.



aussiebloke
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03 Mar 2014, 9:59 pm

micromandolins wrote:
Didn't mean to post three times. I got some error message and thought it didn't go through.


yeah this place is buggy as all hell.


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