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artrat
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10 Dec 2011, 3:48 am

I have already been very depressed by life and I am seem to be offended easier.
I should not have even posted this.
I should have just posted in the haven instead of bothering everyone with this.
I cant even name the users that offended me. I am just over-sensitive and paranoid .



auntblabby
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10 Dec 2011, 4:28 am

^^^
don't dwell upon it, just try to chill. the people here who fail to be civil have their own mental/psychological issues that have nothing to do with you.



Verdandi
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10 Dec 2011, 5:19 am

artrat wrote:
Sometimes I dont know if I am being insulted or not.
When people use sarcasm it confuses me. I think people are insulting me but I am not sure.
I am really paranoid and this is part of the problem.

Some people on here have been very kind and I appreciate it.


This strategy works for me most of the time:

If I think I'm being insulted and I care about it, I'll ask for clarification. Often, it's just bad phrasing or maybe the other person misunderstood you.

Be direct. Ask.

As far as it goes:

I try to be civil, but I probably fail and tend to say things fairly directly and bluntly and I worry that it's easy for what I'm saying to come across as confrontational or mean when I am not trying to be either. I would rather know so I can apologize and move on, and hopefully not do it again (although I will probably do it again).



CockneyRebel
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10 Dec 2011, 6:25 am

I have 70000 posts and I've never said anything nasty to anyone on WP over my 7 and a half years here. I was feeling the same way that you did last summer when a banned young member had a go at me, twice. I like to treat others the way I wish to be treated. If I've offended you in any way, I apologize.


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Ambivalence
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10 Dec 2011, 12:56 pm

I say nasty things to people, and I mean them when I say them, but I try (I am of course not always correct) to be sure they merit it.

But still, it's wearying, and I don't like being a snarky git.

I found myself the other day composing and re-composing a response very carefully, and realised I was using a great store of nasty rhetorical trickery that an astonishingly uptight and unlovely person used on me elsewhere on the web in the distant past. And I got that line from The Untouchables in my head: "I have become what I beheld, and I am content..." Well bugger that, I ain't content to be that kind of tool. So I think I'll take a calming-down break from WP, or at least stop visiting so heavily, for a while.


(Seriously, it'd take an hour to describe in just how many ways that guy was an arse; he fancied himself the avatar of political correctness but was more like the avatar of legalistic mendacity.)


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CyclopsSummers
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10 Dec 2011, 3:04 pm

artrat wrote:
I have already been very depressed by life and I am seem to be offended easier.
I should not have even posted this.
I should have just posted in the haven instead of bothering everyone with this.
I cant even name the users that offended me. I am just over-sensitive and paranoid .


Don't feel as though you've been a bother to anyone! I've started threads before -both here and elsewhere on the internet- of which I later regretted having started them. Sometimes it's okay to allow yourself to slip up a little by posting something that may not be completely well-thought out. I hope you can find the support and advice you seek in The Haven.


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Jellybean
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10 Dec 2011, 4:58 pm

I've been on here for a while (although I am quite quiet a lot of the time!) and the nasty people come and go. Also, if you don't like arguing, try and keep out of the politics/religion forums! I found that out the hard way! Sometimes people have been sarcastic to my posts as well and I don't understand that. Then when someone else posts something genuine I think they might be being sarcastic...


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Sparx
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10 Dec 2011, 5:09 pm

I'm sorry. :( When someone is unkind to me, it affects me very deeply.



nemorosa
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10 Dec 2011, 5:23 pm

It depresses me at times also, which is why I spend less time at this forum than I used to.

When I first found out about wrong planet it was around the same time as I realised I had aspergers. After decades of feeling like I was living on a world of my own to discover that there was many others almost made me weep for joy. Then after many months the realisation crept in that all the other people were very different from me after all and I went back to feeling just as isolated as before.

It was very foolish of me to think that there would be others who shared my views and mindset and not particularly helpful to me whilst going through one of the most depressing and difficult phases of my life to date.

Now my approach is not to make a habit of reading the posts here daily, and when I do just to have a quick say on something whist not getting drawn in to anything contentious or emotional.



MagicMeerkat
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10 Dec 2011, 6:50 pm

I'm finding it quite depressing as well. But mostly, I am finding the majority of the posts as very boring.


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