After all this, you've got to be joking!

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Kailuamom
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22 Dec 2011, 2:31 pm

It could be that instead of letting him fail, we keep looking for ways to study that appeal to him. See my post here for some of thE projects we have come up with: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt182499.html

If he just doesn't want to study at all, this is a pain as we do require that he do some school Its nowhere near what dribble (worksheets and busywork) the kids have to do in school i really think its the social isolation and the fact that he doesn't fit with the NT kids in our area.

Bad wasn't a little bad, it was like being in a constant state of meltdown or trying to avoid meltdown for two years straight. I'm just starting to see my son emerge after that hell and I'm pretty reluctant to go back to it. I think that it was so bad, he would have ended up dead or institutionalized, which I think would have ended badly. Perhaps it sounds melodramatic, but it was that bad.



seekingtruth
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22 Dec 2011, 2:48 pm

doesn't seem melodramatic to me, I've been the one to hold my son in a bear hug the entire night until morning so that I could call his therapist for help to stop him from hurting himself and not wanting to add the trauma of the ER.

I have a feeling a lot of us know where you've been.

Those videos were adorable! You son is so cute, love his hair!


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Caitlin
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22 Dec 2011, 4:02 pm

I think this is TOTALLY NORMAL for our kids. My son said exactly the same thing after he had been homeschooling long enough to a) lose all his anxiety and depression and feel better, and then b) realize he missed his buddies and being able to play with other kids during the day. But kids do not always know what is best for themselves - they need parents to make the tough decisions. This is one of them.

I think you need to look at what enormous improvements you have achieved in both mental health and learning environment for your son - and realize this is the right thing right now. I think you are right to accept homeschooling as the norm for your son right now, and focus efforts on his desire to play and socialize with others during the day. Search Yahoo for homeschool groups in your area, google for them, go to museums and galleries and parks during the day to meet other homeschoolers, sign up for swimming or other lessons that happen during school hours (that's where you'll find other homeschoolers), even joining a local Asperger Association will likely result in meeting some aspie homeschoolers. Our city has a homeschool field trip organization - do you have anything like that in your area?

Stay the course kailuamom. You have moved mountains for your son - don't put them back in his way.


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Kailuamom
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22 Dec 2011, 9:22 pm

Caitlin wrote:

Stay the course kailuamom. You have moved mountains for your son - don't put them back in his way.


Thanks Caitlin - yeah, you're right, stay the course and enjoy the progress. Because I have to work, there's definitely less ability to quest hours to find groups. In my local area there's not much. If we drive about 45 minutes, there are infinately more resources, but I just can't do that during the day and work full time.

And thanks seeking truth for the feedback on the videos, I am so proud of him. He learned everything from the content to how to add the fancy stuff and green screen to the videos. He's so danged bright!



bigjessi
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23 Dec 2011, 8:08 am

What about one class and lunch at school?

We did this last year- different issues than your son had at regular school, but it helped my daughter with the social aspect to some degree. We tried 2 classes- but she had too much trouble in one and they kept her in study hall during lunch, which totally defeated the purpose, but she did well with one class and lunch. It was violin, so didn't have the stress of academics.

Not sure if this is an option for your family, but letting him try one class and the lunch period may allow you both to see how he handles it.

Cheers :)



postcards57
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23 Dec 2011, 12:09 pm

Your son has gained the strength to feel he can take on new challenges, but he can't understand that he is likely to be worn down again and feel bad.
Is he like my dd, tending to see the negative in any given situation? I would focus on the positive, giving him credit for making such good progress and telling him you are enjoying this situation.
To add a bit of structure and socialization, how about signing him up in a class rather than a club? I know art classes were one of the few things my dd really enjoyed doing with other kids, because they were all given instructions and had something to do, and unstructured social time was minimal.
Definitely, stay the course!
J.