OkCupid depresses me.



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Sweetleaf
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03 Jan 2012, 4:30 pm

I kinda wish I did not have a profile there, but I don't really want to delete it either. I already hooked up with I guy I met and that just turned out to kind of suck. He was a cool guy and so we ended up attempting an intimate relationship, but then he ended it because he could not quit thinking about some other girl he knew before me and wanted to find out if she had any intrest in him it was kinda complex and he was honest so I was cool with it.......then it turned out she was not intrested and me and him hung out a few times since then but he never expressed any intrest in getting back together. But yeah I have not talked to him in a couple weeks as far as I know we are still friends but yeah I have been kinda busy and he's usually not in the best mood which makes me kinda sad because i wish I knew how to make him feel better and what do I do avoid the guy because its hard for me to deal with. I guess I'll have to be honest with him about that at some point as I dont like the idea of just ceasing to talk to him.

So my first OkCupid hook up clearly did not work out, and now it seems like boring people with nothing to say are the only ones who bother messeging me even though my profile should suggest i am bored of the life I've been living and would like to try finding other options......or that I am at the very least intrested in having someone to simply live life with but that kind of requires we have somewhat simular life styles. I'm not into the do your own thing and pretend to enjoy being around each other and intrested in each other when you do get around to hanging out with each other type relationships. I'm into actually enjoying experiances together, coping with the negative things in life together and that sort of thing but no one seems intrested in that.

It just makes me want to give up on finding a relationship, and even maybe just give up on things in general......which I don't want because I'm only 22 so there's gotta be something out there that can keep my intrest. But it seems like I've spent a lot of my life just going through the motions and getting things over with in the hopes that when I 'grew up' things would be better and I would enjoy life more well I'm not enjoying life that much more and my relationship situation is not helping.....and life just seems so boring and mudane.


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03 Jan 2012, 4:48 pm

...I'm sympathetic. You sound conscientious. Actually, most of the people here seem that way, and that just makes dating really hard. It's part of getting used to dating in the real world, and it's harder if you have other things on your mind. I know that there are a lot of bitter posts on here, too, and I've been guilty, but it seems as though even most of those are out of frustration and not a lack of caring. I've used OkCupid in the past as a semi-safe way to get used to all of the things that people do to each other in the name of love. I've met very few people through it, somewhat deliberately, but looking over the Q&A and how people present themselves is one way to get used to what you'll have to sift through on the way to a good relationship. It's probably good to be more insulated. You may be like a lot of people on WP who've spent years being told that they needed to be more empathetic, but that's not always the case here. People sometimes take you more lightly in dating when they don't have to work for that consideration.

Hang in there! You sound ten times nicer than most of the girls I've known, and I'm sure I'd say the same about guys if it were my business.



Radiofixr
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03 Jan 2012, 5:24 pm

I know how you feel-its a difficult thing to do putting yourself out there on a website like that-I have a problem with that website is the superficial people that won't even respond-I have had very little contact with anyone even contacting me-it is frustrating.


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Sextaesada
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03 Jan 2012, 7:44 pm

I've only had one strange gay guy reply to mine, maybe I will find you and leave you a nice message? then it won't be so depressing. :lol:


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MXH
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03 Jan 2012, 8:24 pm

well, it seems atleast people look at your profile.



Sextaesada
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03 Jan 2012, 9:03 pm

MXH wrote:
well, it seems atleast people look at your profile.

yeah I've only had a gay send me a message... :cry:


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MXH
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03 Jan 2012, 9:16 pm

Sextaesada wrote:
MXH wrote:
well, it seems atleast people look at your profile.

yeah I've only had a gay send me a message... :cry:

noones looked at me since like november. and the next one july. lol



MinorAnnoyance
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03 Jan 2012, 9:56 pm

Yeah I've been on OKCupid. After many years I saw one person I was actually interested in talking to, and by that I mean 95% of what she wrote was exactly what I wanted to hear, but she had already mostly abandoned the site and I couldn't get a conversation going. So one person in like eight years there's not much reason to hang around there. I'm still on there but I don't feel like putting work into it. I even made two tests but I don't think tests really bring in people.
So anyway, I sympathize but have no advice to give. One question though. Is there a reason your looking on the internet and not in the physical world?



ebec11
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04 Jan 2012, 1:47 am

I've had people respond because I'm 19 and "pretty" (according to a few, I'm not convinced with the picture I showed), but nothing serious. There was one guy that was nice enough, but stopped talking to me after I mentioned the Autism thing. I guess he didn't read my profile close enough *shrugs* I wasn't attached yet, so no biggie. Another guy is a bit too far away, but we have a lot in common, so we're going to be penpals.
So yeah, kind of successful. In that I at least know some guys think I'm pretty. But nothing even worth a first date yet.

EDIT: My account is ebec19 if somebody wants to check. You know, since I'm too open/honest for my own good XD



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04 Jan 2012, 5:29 am

Most of the guys I've met on these sites have been fresh out of long term relationships, and not exactly as ready to move on as they make out to be.

Guys who join for the primary purpose of finding someome to distract themselves from someone else, what a friggin cop out. Hurtful dating disasters waiting to happen.



nick007
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04 Jan 2012, 5:37 am

OKC was a giant waste of my time for a few years. I spent quite a lot of time answering those stupid matching questions & half the people I had high matches with were people I would of been incompatible with because they wanted someone to party with or they were looking for a partner who was Catholic or both; I'm a straight-edge Secular Humanist so I should NOT be getting those matches. I messaged most every girl I thought I might have a chance in hell with & I got almost no replies; I actually got more responses on POF. I've had better luck by posting about things on forums than using dating sites. The two girlfriends I had I met on forums & I was not even looking the 1st time & I was not exactly trying to meet someone here on WP when I forum my 2nd girl here. I spent years trying dating sites & I tried most all the mainsteam 1s as well as lots of smaller more specialty ones & i never even got one date :cry: :evil:


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Last edited by nick007 on 04 Jan 2012, 5:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Wolfheart
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04 Jan 2012, 5:42 am

blue_bean wrote:
Most of the guys I've met on these sites have been fresh out of long term relationships, and not exactly as ready to move on as they make out to be.


That's interesting, I have never used a dating website but I guess many people do go on them to look for rebound relationships to take their mind away from a previous relationship, I'd imagine some of the people who use dating websites are divorced or have children. I wouldn't say a dating website is the best place to go if you are looking for someone who doesn't have baggage.



Daemonic-Jackal
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04 Jan 2012, 1:42 pm

I'm just about to get rid of my profile as I'm fed up of having every message I send out being ignored on there or just getting dead end answers as responses. Wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't for the fact that most of the ones I message claim they'll either......

a) talk to anyone and love to chat, which obviously a lie

b) Promise in their profile they'll reply to any messages they receive (another lie)

c) Make the same complaint in their details about being having their sent messages ignored (double standards)

d) Complain about having to tell the so-called weirdo's on there to f**k off. Now if you can take the time to do that then how about at least acknowledging anyone who shows any actual interest? Otherwise you're basically saying the weirdo's are more worthy of a reply then those making a genuine effort.

Although I suppose taking all of that into consideration it explains why quite a lot women (U.K based) on dating sites are single in the first place.

ebec11 wrote:
EDIT: My account is ebec19 if somebody wants to check. You know, since I'm too open/honest for my own good XD


I've just had a look at your profile and can safely say you sound much more pleasant and polite then a lot of the uk women on there. Although our match of 0% did make me chuckle. :lol:


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Ellendra
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04 Jan 2012, 2:34 pm

My profile on OKC gets a lot of attention. To be honest, it kind of scares me. I want to find a nice guy, but when someone messages me I get so freaked out that I can't seem to bring myself to reply. I'm not sure I can explain it.



MacGyverAspie
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04 Jan 2012, 2:44 pm

I've tried OKcupid but like most of you, I send messages and not get any replies or I do and i never get to meet them. It's just too stressful, it's mostly NT's who are too outgoing, would say they would talk to anyone but they don't. They put up lies just to get attention but it's simply too good to be true.



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