You have NT friends but they never invite you to places



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Lady-ivy
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:04 pm

Has this ever happen to you. In my case am friends with NT my age at school. But when they go out places they never seemed to invite me to places. Am doing nothing worng in term with socializing with people. I am pretty quiet in school souroundings that my problem but there are always a quiet people in a social group. Seems some of my friends who are on spectrum have the same problem too. Is there something were not doing right becouse we are not doing anything worng in terms of social with people and there group discussion. People are nice and they want to socialize with me but they are not inviting me. Has this happen to you guys too.



Reynaert
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:09 pm

Yep, this happens to me too. Nor do I get invited to birthdays and the like. A few years ago, when I had a girlfriend, I was invited to lots of places (also by friends who did not know my gf, and I even introduced her to a few places). But now, nothing. No birthdays, no game evenings, no movies, no nothing. Makes you wonder.



psychegots
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:10 pm

Yes, I can relate to that. Those friendships in high school didn't end very well to be honest. But it may be that they're just not inviting you because you are sending out signals that you don't really want to.



Radiofixr
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:18 pm

I dont get invited places-I have a so called aspie friend that makes plane then changes at the last minute and I get invited in an off hand way and he knows I can't make it-and then says he cant stand up the other person-who is NT by the way-and this was a fellow aspie that did it to me-what the heck did I do to deserve treatment like this.


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passionatebach
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:51 pm

This is a timely thread, due to the fact that I was thinking about this today.

The title of this thread is the story of my life. People are friendly to me in an acquaintance sort of way, but when it comes to being a deeper part of their lives, I never seem to get included. I rarely ever get invited to weddings, parties, nights at the bar, etc. I always seem to find out about these events after the fact or through an off-handed sort of way. For example, my best friend from growing up and his wife are having a baby. He has never told me this even though we converse every once in awhile. Sadly, I found this information when ran into a conversation on Facebook between his wife and a friend of hers the other day. I thought that this would be big news for him and that he would like to share it.

I sometimes think that it is partially me. Due to issues that I have had with relationships in the past (I used to have a tendency to get obsessed with people that showed an interest in me), I don't do a good job of promoting these type of interactions beyond casual conversation. Relationships are a two way street.



Stargazer43
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:04 pm

Happens to me all the time, it is one of the things socially that I have been trying to figure out for ages with little luck lol.



MacGyverAspie
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:13 pm

Same thing with me, never got invited to anything they put on. Can't figure out why though.



Lady-ivy
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:24 pm

This seems to be a huge problem for a alot of us. Maybe we need get to the bottom of why this happens :?: :study:



Lady-ivy
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:26 pm

psychegots wrote:
Yes, I can relate to that. Those friendships in high school didn't end very well to be honest. But it may be that they're just not inviting you because you are sending out signals that you don't really want to.


That's an interesting point



minervx
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:48 pm

yeah, theyre more of acquaintances than meaningful friends.

out of a high school of 1500 people, i was friends with 300+ people, but didn't get invited to anything.



bryce13950
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:23 pm

well I have the same problem any ideas?



Lady-ivy
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:42 pm

bryce13950 wrote:
well I have the same problem any ideas?


Well what psychegots was saying maybe we are sending the worng signals to our acquaintances that we don't want to get know them bette. We need to correct how we are sending signals to people.



passionatebach
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:46 pm

bryce13950 wrote:
well I have the same problem any ideas?


This is a very good website that I ran across regarding this subject. While it does not provide the answers per se, it does provide some discussion points to reflect about.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/indifferentfriends

I think that a lot of it comes down to social dynamics, or plain just being "in the loop". I have found Facebook to be a good (albeit imperfect) tool for finding out what is going on with my friends and acquantances. At least I now know of some things going on that my friends are partaking of. I didn't have this information a few years ago. Sadly, this still does not explain to me why my friends and acquaintances rarely invite me to milestone events in their lives (weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc).



Icyclan
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Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:26 pm

With me it's the other way around. I get invited to things lots of times, but I'd rather they wouldn't as I rarely feel like going.



Asp-Z
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Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:34 pm

I've always had this and I've loved it. Having people to hang out with during school/college can be nice, but weekends and holidays are me time.



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