My irritability has gone through the roof

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kenisu3000
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21 Jan 2012, 8:22 pm

It seems like ever since I learned about this disorder, I've been noticing things more and more clearly and my sensory overload problem has only gotten worse. I wonder if it's the power of suggestion, or if it's not just my imagination and is merely a hazard of an Aspie who's now pushing 30.

Now, simple breathing grates on my nerves, no matter how soft it is - as long as it's audible, it bothers me.

That means fun times for all, because I come from a family of people who not only seem incapable of blowing their noses (which makes for an ungodly whistling noise sometimes when they breathe nasally), but they eat like frickin' pigs. I myself have had this problem for a long time. Friends have commented on my disgusting eating habits, something I thought was only the tiniest of problems until recently, now that my self-awareness has gotten so high. I see what they mean now, and I'm doing my best to change that habit.

But my family, most notably my dad, can be unbearable during mealtime. The chewing, the heavy breathing (due to one air passage being blocked by food, and again, plugged noses abound), and dear Lord, the infernal, sonic gulping... add all this up, and I can't even stand to be in the same room as my family members when they're snacking. The irony is that hard eating noises like crunching - something that bothers everyone - don't really bother me as much as the soft noises do.

It gets even better when you're trapped in a car with them, as they chew, slurp, smack, snort, and gulp away. There was one recent incident where I was ready to claw at the door. Yet I didn't say a word, because I knew I'd blow up and incite a riot if I did. I merely clenched my teeth and bore it.

My high irritability is not an aspect I'm proud of, because tetchy folk aren't exactly easy to get along with.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.



dianthus
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21 Jan 2012, 9:09 pm

I am a highly irritable person, and it has nothing to do with learning about Asperger's. I've always been very irritable. I'm good at hiding it or suppressing it when I need to, and that actually makes it worse, because my frustration can build up until I explode. Most people have no idea how ornery I am, unless they happen to push me too far.

What really drives me the craziest is when a person talks too much, and just goes on and on without a pause. I can't really listen to it, and I can't tune it out either. It just feels like I'm being slowly tortured. The last time I rode somewhere with my dad, he took the long way home and talked the whole way. I thought about throwing myself out of the truck to get away from it. He was doing me a favor so I couldn't really complain.

There are lots of other things that irritate me, I could make a long list. I know what you mean about the noises people make when they eat.

My irritability is probably the biggest reason why I spend so much time alone. I just can't stand all those little things people do. I know I am not necessarily wonderful to be around at all times either. Sometimes people like to mention that I can be annoying too, and that's not really the point. All people get annoyed, and all people do annoying things. The point is that I have a really low threshold for annoyance before it starts pushing me over the edge. It can feel like the other person is physically affecting every nerve ending in my body by their behavior. I don't know how else to explain it.



Aharon
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22 Jan 2012, 1:17 am

I hate going to movie theaters and hearing hundreds of people eat popcorn, fiddle with candy wrappers, and check their cell phones (usually makes an ocean of twinkling blue lights in front of me, there's so many.)

I can relate to your increased sensitivity. As I learned more about myself, I too seemed to get worse. But looking back, I know I was always being bothered, and I'd get worn out and irritable, I just didn't know why then. Now that I do know, there's a balance between taking steps to not get overloaded and not becoming a hypersensitive brat. Yes, there are things that bother me, but if I avoid all of them, i just become more sensitive.

I think that was what started the whole me getting worse bit. I realized what I was sensitive to, and started filtering it. For example, I realized I don't like a lot of noise, and started wearing ear plugs to deal with it, but the more I wear them, the more I want to wear them.

Now I give myself time to recharge, and filter and avoid when I really need to, but I try to accept where i am and what's going on around me unless it's down right painful. I want to increase my tolerance, not decrease it.

I first lived in denial of any issues, then I tried accepting and living with my issues, now i'm trying to live a normal life in spite of my issues. Maybe you're going through the same struggle.


As for the breathing thing, perhaps you should try some breathing meditations and condition yourself to sensing it as a good thing. Or distract your focuses with stim toys or music. As for your family, I have some seriously bad "breathers" in mine also, but don't count myself among them. If I did, I'd probably feel the same as you.


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Atomsk
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22 Jan 2012, 1:54 am

I have the same sensory issues. I strongly suggest earplugs while around others eating, preferably headphones with music playing to also help drown out your own chewing. It's a HORRIBLE idea to try talking to me while eating anyway, so it doesn't matter that I'm not able to participate in conversation at the table.

Just remember that these things are things that NTs often don't even notice or think about. They're not trying to annoy you, or be mean to you, or anything like that. I know how hard it is to not get angry at them, though. I know it's my problem though, so I feel responsible to do the fixing, not to try to make others fix themselves.



KickingBird
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22 Jan 2012, 6:50 am

kenisu3000 wrote:
It seems like ever since I learned about this disorder, I've been noticing things more and more clearly and my sensory overload problem has only gotten worse. I wonder if it's the power of suggestion, or if it's not just my imagination and is merely a hazard of an Aspie who's now pushing 30.

Now, simple breathing grates on my nerves, no matter how soft it is - as long as it's audible, it bothers me.

That means fun times for all, because I come from a family of people who not only seem incapable of blowing their noses (which makes for an ungodly whistling noise sometimes when they breathe nasally), but they eat like frickin' pigs. I myself have had this problem for a long time. Friends have commented on my disgusting eating habits, something I thought was only the tiniest of problems until recently, now that my self-awareness has gotten so high. I see what they mean now, and I'm doing my best to change that habit.

But my family, most notably my dad, can be unbearable during mealtime. The chewing, the heavy breathing (due to one air passage being blocked by food, and again, plugged noses abound), and dear Lord, the infernal, sonic gulping... add all this up, and I can't even stand to be in the same room as my family members when they're snacking. The irony is that hard eating noises like crunching - something that bothers everyone - don't really bother me as much as the soft noises do.

It gets even better when you're trapped in a car with them, as they chew, slurp, smack, snort, and gulp away. There was one recent incident where I was ready to claw at the door. Yet I didn't say a word, because I knew I'd blow up and incite a riot if I did. I merely clenched my teeth and bore it.

My high irritability is not an aspect I'm proud of, because tetchy folk aren't exactly easy to get along with.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.


Oh how I can relate to that one. My husband is hard of hearing. The 1st time I heard this, we were in the car. He was driving. I asked, "Do you hear your nose whisltling?" I was not really asking, I was being sarcastic. He replied, "No.". I then told him to please blow his nose that is was driving me crazy. Quite often I have to tell that man that he needs to blow his nose that the whistling is driving me nuts. LOL Can he not feel that he has boogers in his nose?

Oh and the disgusting eating. Chewing with one's mouth open? Common, you are not 2 years old. It never fails that when he is eating something with sauce, he gets it on the sides of the mouth and I have to mention that he needs to wipe his mouth. Does he not feel that. If I have sauce on the corners of my mouth, I can feel it. Yep, these things can be very annoying.



justalouise
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22 Jan 2012, 4:04 pm

I have the same issues. I make myself keep my mouth shut about it (no pun intended!), and work on being able to avoid situations that are uncomfortable that I can't change. I think making an effort to recognize when certain efforts would be futile has made a big difference in my day to day life.



Circle989898
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22 Jan 2012, 4:28 pm

Maybe ganser or organic? seems you created something that wasn't there before.



Atomsk
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22 Jan 2012, 4:36 pm

justalouise wrote:
I think making an effort to recognize when certain efforts would be futile has made a big difference in my day to day life.

This.



justalouise
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22 Jan 2012, 5:13 pm

Right? I mean, it's not even advice that should be limited to this arena...it's something that EVERYONE should probably honestly reflect on every now and then!