Are you invisible?
Yep, I am totally invisible to most people. HOWEVER! It's getting better the more and more I make myself look more unique, or bring out my better side. I now have a style that I like to wear around, very noticeable (black trench coat, driver's cap) and I now have people refer to me by my last name, as it's far more memorable than my first name. They sound small, but it makes a world of difference.
i am also almost totally invisible unless i make an effort to get noticed; now this is usually a good thing, it allows me to study human behaviour or slip away from obligatory social gatherings unnoticed, noone realises i'm gone, and if i return shortly before the agreed time to leave, they are none the wiser
I can relate to the forum posting problem. Especially when it's a request for information or a solution to something, and I've put a lot of thought and effort into my response. Then someone else posts a half-assed, incorrect, messy thing and they're fine with it. Self esteem crashes and it's why I have trouble posting on forums. I feel like it's pointless. Someone else is going to say the same thing, and/or I'm going to be ignored. Kinda makes me feel like less of a person.
But it also reminds me of how at work, customers don't pay the slightest attention to me. I'll say 'Would you like a bag" and they'll respond "I'm good, how are you?". Or I'll say "Have a nice day" and they'll say "No thanks, I don't need a bag.". Or I'll ask, repeatedly "Would you like a bag" and they'll either ignore me or say no thanks. Then after the transaction, they'll stand there, staring at me. Until they finally say, with a dramatic sigh, "Can I have a bag?". Then there's the numerous people that ignore when I tell them the total, and I stand there waiting and waiting, until they notice me and ask the total. Or I tell them the total, and they give me too little change, and ignore me when I tell them it's not enough. The only good thing to come out of it is the few customers that notice this, and compliment me on my patience.
I've been sat on, walked into, and marked absent because people didn't realize I was there. Back in high school, I sat at the lunch table with one girl in particular every day and talked with her normally for 3 years, then a few months before graduation she thought it was my first day at that school. I once played the lead role in a skit for my acting class, then the next day the teacher asked why I hadn't gone on stage to do my skit yet, the others in my group had to vouch for the fact that I'd been there.
It's like that perception filter on Doctor Who, I'm just unnoticable to some people.
it happened to me several times: i walk into a restaurant, a store, the vet's office. nobody shows up. i wait. the second someone new walks in, the receptionist/cashier comes running.
when i was in grammer school i was with a bunch of other girls and i just watched the treetops outside swaying. suddenly i realized the other girls were gone. don't know how long i've been standing there alone.
when in a crowd where people are very close to me and loud, i wince, clamp my hands over my ears, i'm a mess. nobody notices.
i cried in the bus going to work the day after my cat died. nobody noticed. and the bus was completely full. people were sitting very close to me.
dogs and cats notice me and come to me before they'll go to anyone else. many times i've been told by dogs owners their dog isn't usually that friendly. and feral cats that shy away from other people come to me. i'm only invisible in the human world.
I've a special connection with cats too (but not dogs)
I remember being invisible a lot when I was at High school. At lunchtime I used to say something socially appropriate but nobody would listen so I might aswell of been talking to myself.
It's funny because if I had muttered something to myself about somebody in the crowd, everyone would probably hear that!
But, I don't know. Life's hard. I'm not so invisible any more but I'm not popular either. I often sit and imagine what it's like to be popular and always liked and accepted by other people and any social mistakes you might make get ignored or forgotten. It must be wonderful to be someone who everybody thinks is great. I knew a person at a volunteer job I used to go to who was so popular and couldn't do no wrong and everybody sticks up for her and thinks she's the most wonderful person in the world. But personally speaking, I didn't think she was so wonderful. She was quite a nasty person actually. Very few people disliked her, and left because of her, but most seemed to suck up to her and thought she was great.
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Female
Yes, I seem to be completely invisible (and unhearable) when in the company of other people. People act as if I don't exist. I have wondered about it a lot. Do they seriously not notice my presence or hear me talking or are they ignoring me on purpose? I find it very hard to believe it's even possible to not notice a person who is right next to you and even talking, so I find it more likely that they are simply ignoring me and that makes me wonder what it is about me that makes people do that all the time.
My feelings exactly.
My husband has noticed this too and has said it's like I'm just air, people don't notice me any more than the air around them.
But when I'm walking in the street I feel like the all mighty God - everybody looks at me and notices me, which makes me feel uncomfortable.
It's the other way around really - I want to be noticed in a group, and not noticed when walking through public.
Same here. People stare excessively at me when they see me walking somewhere or minding my own business, but don't seem to be aware of my existence when I'm in a group with them and even trying to interact with them.
One very frustrating thing is that the same people as constantly tell me I should talk and socialize more completely ignore me when I do and act as if I don't exist, and then don't get it why I don't socialize much.
I feel invisible online too. It's very rare for anyone to respond to me. People seem to constantly jump over my posts and respond to most other posts, making me wonder if anyone read mine at all. My posts also often seem to be "thread killers", ongoing threads often seem to stop right when I post my input.
I wish I wasn't so invisible socially and that I didn't attract so much attention when I'm out and about trying to mind my own business in peace. It would be nice if things were reversed.
This topic reminds me of this one time when a high school teacher told me that she didn't like the way I always kept things to myself and did my best to remain invisible among other people. Ugh, how I hated that woman. I know that in her NT mind she was just trying to help me but god, couldn't she realize that I did those things because I just wanted to be alone?
yeah , a lot of times I'll have just said something, and the response from the other person is either to ignore me or they'll start talking to someone else instead, so I never really know if they actually heard what I had to say or if they were intentionally ignoring me, and if I think they didn't hear me, sometimes I'll repeat what I said and it turns out that they were ignoring me on purpose. But when I don't want people to pay any attention to me, it seems like the opposite usually happens.
nirrti_rachelle
Veteran
Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
Location: The Dirty South
OP: What noise does a dog make
Me: Woof
Poster1: Meow?
OP: No, that's not what I'm thinking of.
Me: It's woof.
Poster2: Is it moo?
Me: No it's woof.
Poster3: Is it baa?
OP: No it's neither of those.
Me: IT*S WOOF. WOOF I SAY!
Poster4: Is it woof.
OP: Ah yes Poster4. That's right, of course. It's woof.
Arrrrrrrrrgh.
My experiences exactly. My remedy was to quit giving responses altogether. If they can't appreciate my input, I'm not going to waste it on them.
Like throwing pearls to swine, seriously.....
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"There is difference and there is power. And who holds the power decides the meaning of the difference." --June Jordan