Are you unemployed; if so, how does it affect you?

Page 1 of 4 [ 62 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

northbrbrain
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 45

27 Jan 2012, 9:21 pm

Do you feel less stressed because of it? Happier? Sadder? Curious what long-term effect unemployment has on a person's psyche. I know it varies among individuals. Personally, it has a mixed effect. I tended to get bullied on the job.....I NEVER made friends at work. So as far as social fulfillment, I'm missing nothing. I was also extremely stressed on the job and couldn't do it due to Asperger's, depression and other problems.

However, I'm wondering whether there are unseen effects of unemployment, more subtle effects that we may become more aware of over time.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,440
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

27 Jan 2012, 9:28 pm

If it makes you feel any better I have not even worked anywhere long enough to qualify for unemployment :(


_________________
We won't go back.


Regal
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: New York

27 Jan 2012, 9:51 pm

When I did work, even if I didn't like the job itself and got stressed pretty often, I still enjoyed feeling like I was doing something worthwhile with my time, at least in the sense that I was getting money and not just sitting around my house. Now that I've been fired from two jobs in a row, and am not having any luck finding another job, I feel pretty...inadequate, I guess is the word. I feel like my previous employers fired me unjustly because of my social difficulties, and I'm nervous about working again just to have the same experience...

I just want to be accepted somewhere, since I know I have a lot I can offer in many job settings, but I keep getting the message "If you're not the most outgoing person we can find, you're worthless". I don't want to be worthless, I don't want to feel worthless, and I try not to focus on that, but not having a job leaves me too much time to think, heh.



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

27 Jan 2012, 10:28 pm

I don't care that I'm unemployed except that I wish I had some kind of income.



Apple_in_my_Eye
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: in my brain

28 Jan 2012, 12:42 am

employed == high stress
unemployed == higher stress
unemployed + couldn't work anymore == much higher stress
unemployed + SSDI == much less stress

It's one of a pile of other reasons that I don't talk to people much. I quickly get tired of "oh, pretty much all disabilities are fake," and similar comments.

I never made any friends at work and was a bully magnet, also.

What am I missing? Well, it would be nice to have more money for my projects. OTOH, when I was working I had so little energy left that I didn't do much else. I don't think I'm qualified or functional enough in other ways to have a family, so not having money for that doesn't matter.



Tadzio
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2009
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 877

28 Jan 2012, 2:23 am

Hi northbrbrain,

I've been unemployed since I quit working the streets to return to university so as to land a career.

I was put on disability in 1987 over epilepsy and migraines and all the side effects, while I was still seeking employment after university graduation with multiple degrees.

I spent most of my time in suing federal employers for employment discrimination and in reading books (some 4,000-5,000 now, with a sizable chunk of the Western Canon). Injuries from epileptic seizures in 2006 further restricted my major life activities to subsistence levels with most interaction now on the internet, and passive actions with TV and slowed reading.

Tadzio



harry_j_83
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 116
Location: not-quite-so-royal london borough of lewisham (aka "da ghetto")

28 Jan 2012, 7:42 am

I am lucky enough to have found something I enjoy doing recently: yes "lucky" is often the key word as far as finding employment goes. I can't presonally say I can see the correlation between the prior effort i put into and the success of finding my position.

I think autism in the workplace is a difficult subject. for example, as far as disclosing one's condition, I don't think there really is a right or wrong answer: its all a question of whether or not the employer is willing or not to understand.

I have felt disappointed with the so-called AS-specialised employment support groups have dealt with me (and others with AS). I found them extremely patronising and tried convincing me it was wise to disclose my condition at work and that people would give me the appropriate support automatically. I know of course this is BS, but I feel worried that other naiver "aspergians" are going to walk into work places under the assumption that work peers/employers will accept them unconditionally, only to be ripped apart (potentially).

I think that it is important that you try to blend in as best you can into a work place (yes its hard, but much more doable than you maybe think!).

A few more bits of advice...

Don't talk about your problems to people (until you are absolutely sure you know them well enough). keep personal problems and work separate! oh and also, never confide in bosses who talk about there personal problems: this is a tactic to "soften you up" only to make your life s**t further down the line.

If you feel depressed, stressed out, annoyed or any other negative emotion, never make this apparent, always make it seem like you can cope.

be willing to help out but not too much: this may give the impression you are in charge of a duty you are not assigned to do which will only lead to serious breakdown of communication. do what you have to do and don't feel guilty about not partaking in roles which you weren't paid to do. be generous but don;t be a people-pleaser.

I'll think of more stuff if I can... I have to say, I seriously wish they wrote more books about enlightening us how to manage life successfully. all the stuff published by Kessica Kingsley seems well-meaning but extremely woolly and one-sided. Right.. gonna stop moaning as I have got to rush out the house in a bit...



kestrel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 574
Location: Ohio

29 Jan 2012, 4:02 am

Well, when I'm working, I feel like I'm actually doing something productive rather than just tinkering about with random projects. Plus I can afford to buy a lot more stuff for my random projects (orchids aren't cheap! And I need labware now...). However, the stress, mind-numbing anxiety, and shallow acquaintances are hardly things I miss.

On the other hand... I need to get out of this house before I lose my mind. :?



kazzabeth
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2012
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
Location: Brisbane,Qld

29 Jan 2012, 5:33 am

I've really only had 2 full time jobs since i was 18 years and also have been unemployed at times i have been in current employment since August 1993 it suits me ,not too stressful,I do have to talk to co-workers sometimes, usually its not a problem,only if some one starts picking on me,or said i did something wrong when i didnt,I try to say hello to co-workers every morning ,it helps too if i stay with the same group of people and also if i do same job everyday.I also keep to myself at breaktimes and that helps me cope too,I only see co-workers at work,never after hours.



The-Raven
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 762

29 Jan 2012, 6:30 am

Ive never worked, Im 33 now.

I know this sounds really terrible but I really enjoy not working, Im such a driven person and am always busy, i spend all day doing my interests or chores or parenting.

In all that time Ive done lots of art and exhibited it and done political action which was fun and lots of studying (bsc psychology, dip life science, msc psych research methods) through the open university at my home.

I cant imagine working and would be very sad doing work as I would not have time for my vast amount of hobbies and studying.

Im sure with the govt getting stricter that i shall have to work at some point but hopefully I will have finished my phd by then and could get an interesting not too stressful job. Although I cant imagine anyone would want to hire me seeing as Ive never worked and have got a history of mental health problems as well as having aspergers which means i would not be a very good employee (in the way it effects me).

I think I was probably born without a work ethic, its funny as Im not lazy or anything.



kestrel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 574
Location: Ohio

29 Jan 2012, 12:44 pm

The-Raven wrote:
Ive never worked, Im 33 now.

I know this sounds really terrible but I really enjoy not working, Im such a driven person and am always busy, i spend all day doing my interests or chores or parenting.

In all that time Ive done lots of art and exhibited it and done political action which was fun and lots of studying (bsc psychology, dip life science, msc psych research methods) through the open university at my home.

I cant imagine working and would be very sad doing work as I would not have time for my vast amount of hobbies and studying.

Im sure with the govt getting stricter that i shall have to work at some point but hopefully I will have finished my phd by then and could get an interesting not too stressful job. Although I cant imagine anyone would want to hire me seeing as Ive never worked and have got a history of mental health problems as well as having aspergers which means i would not be a very good employee (in the way it effects me).

I think I was probably born without a work ethic, its funny as Im not lazy or anything.

It doesn't sound like you don't have a work ethic - it sounds like you prefer doing things because you want to, rather than because you have to. I get the same way and that's why I normally leave whatever job I'm working in... generates lots of stress when people are constantly demanding you do things the wrong way just because they're your boss. :? I'd be an entrepreneur but every time I've tried that, I either get trampled on by my customers because I'm too trusting, or I end up making decisions that don't pan out because I don't grasp how/why advertising works for most people.... I just ignore it so I assume everyone else does, too. I also tend to spend exorbitant amounts of time working on customer projects that pay next to nothing, which, I'm told, is very bad.



mitch413
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 75
Location: Western Massachusetts

29 Jan 2012, 5:47 pm

I've been unemployed since finishing graduate school in mid 2010. My BS and MS degrees are in an intensely competitive field (atmospheric science) with a small job pool. Since I have no friends and am bad at networking and interviewing, I have been unable to get a job in my original field of study. Since my skill set is highly specific, I'm not sure how and if I can transfer it to other fields. My major required extensive math and some computer programming, but I don't think I can really do anything with that since I don't have a full degree in math or computer science. I'm now taking some computer science courses at a local community college in an attempt to gain some skills that may make me more employable.

Emotionally it gets me down a lot. I've only really learned in the past 18 months or so that getting a job depends more on who you know and not what you know. Although I had stellar GPAs that were better than my peers, they got jobs and I did not. Whenever I compare myself to them, it often gets me down and even a bit angry since I feel like I worked harder than they but they were rewarded and I was not. It doesn't make sense that someone with a 2.3 GPA (without an MS degree) gets a job in the field and someone with a 4.0 (with an MS degree) does not. I did what I was told by my parents, teachers, and society, but have been left empty handed. Unfortunately, once you leave school, the rules change 180°, and I was utterly unprepared for this.

I often wonder if I'll ever get a job. I have a very hard time communicating with people, customer service, and team work, despite my above average intellect. I've never had a real full-time job that is permanent and, thus, a very limited work history. It seems like you need to have experience to get a job, but you need to have a job to get experience. It's the old chicken and egg thing.



Downtown
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 75
Location: U.S.A.

29 Jan 2012, 11:50 pm

The main problem I have with not having any sort of permanent job is that it makes me feel less confident, and I kind of dread people asking me what I do, or what my job is.



Frankie_J
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 213
Location: Kent, UK

30 Jan 2012, 4:58 pm

It's good and it's bad.

Good because I'm dreading that continuous, robotic, tiresome nine to five life where you have no spare time to relax. I can't STAND the sound of that. I like being at home. I'm considering the prospects of being self-employed, though that can be really hard to get into. It also keeps me away from an environment where your boss is an idiot and your colleagues don't understand you and make you feel uncomfortable.

Bad because I'm in tens of thousands of pounds of debt for a degree that hasn't done anything for me yet. There are no jobs. Hundreds of people apply for one position. The chances of me standing out among hundreds of people is extremely unlikely. Why choose an introvert when they could choose someone whose been working for a few years and has a more 'appealing' personality and is favoured more by the prejudice, narrow-minded A-hole who looks at the CVs. It makes me angry. What also makes me angry are the minimal, future interviews I'll get where I'll be rejected simply because of how I look or because I'm an introvert or because my aspergers makes it so that I can't naturally deal with the whole bs social thing where people know what to say and stuff.

I graduated last July and since August/September time I've been on jobseekers allowance, frantically applying for jobs. Six months later and out of all the jobs I've applied for I was given ONE interview. That was only a few weeks ago and they haven't even been bothered to call me back to tell me I haven't got it. I shudder to imagine how long I'll have to search before I'm given a job, let alone a good one.

All I want is a career I LIKE. I won't be forced into something that depresses the crap out of me.



Thebigrage
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 160

30 Jan 2012, 9:54 pm

I am unemployed and have been all my life I graduated High School a little over 6 months ago. I have tried finding a job and found something that calls itself a job (door to door vacuum salesman) and had to quit and now with no income and spending all day home doing my interests I feel very depressed and dread even leaving my room never mind the house. I have developed minor Agoraphobia ( I say minor because I do leave my house every once in a while I just don't like it.) and don't even like communicating with my family because I feel I have let them down. I have tried looking for a college in the field I want to study however they are far too expensive. My mother and sister know that I am trying and that I can't help the way things are right now but everyone else thinks I am a worthless bum mooching off my family. I currently feel like I have no energy to do even the easiest chores like Vacuuming the carpets and am now starting to loose interest in my obsessions. In my honest opinion being unemployed and not having a job that I like that could keep me preoccupied is hell.



kestrel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 574
Location: Ohio

30 Jan 2012, 10:11 pm

Thebigrage wrote:
I am unemployed and have been all my life I graduated High School a little over 6 months ago. I have tried finding a job and found something that calls itself a job (door to door vacuum salesman) and had to quit and now with no income and spending all day home doing my interests I feel very depressed and dread even leaving my room never mind the house. I have developed minor Agoraphobia ( I say minor because I do leave my house every once in a while I just don't like it.) and don't even like communicating with my family because I feel I have let them down. I have tried looking for a college in the field I want to study however they are far too expensive. My mother and sister know that I am trying and that I can't help the way things are right now but everyone else thinks I am a worthless bum mooching off my family. I currently feel like I have no energy to do even the easiest chores like Vacuuming the carpets and am now starting to loose interest in my obsessions. In my honest opinion being unemployed and not having a job that I like that could keep me preoccupied is hell.

This is my problem, as well. If I can resolve this, my world will make so much more sense...

Best advice: apply, apply, apply... stick to it, and don't give up. There's a job somewhere, and the only way to find it is to keep submitting applications. :) I'm trolling monster.com obsessively because that's where I've found every job I've had in the past.