is a date still a date if its not called a date before....

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CrinklyCrustacean
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02 Feb 2012, 5:45 am

justalouise wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
basicly its seems to me that most people asume something is a date without ever verbally aknowledging it untill maybe long after the event/activity has passed



maybe it's just me, but does anyone else feel like the standard style of communication between people as getting more and more passive/less straightforward as time goes on? time and time again, people are taken aback (sometimes in a good way, occasionally not) when i address issues or questions in a straightforward manner. like, even with something as simple as "I don't know what that means, could you explain it to me?" instead of nodding and pretending you understand everything a person talks at you about.

Definitions are becoming nebulous too. I once asked for clarification as to which was a date: meeting up one-to-one with a woman you've just met, in order to get to know them as a friend, or meeting up one-to-one with a woman you've just met, because you fancy each other and want to pursue a relationship? I consider the latter as a date but the former just socialising. However, it seems in most people's eyes that both situations are a date. No wonder people get confused if there is no clear distinction.



justalouise
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02 Feb 2012, 6:21 am

I think the confusion between platonic one-on-one hangouts and potentially romantic ones in that situation comes from a common misconception many people harbor, that it's impossible for a heterosexual man and woman (or any other compatible pairing, for instance) can hang out without ulterior motives or attraction of some degree.



billegge
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19 Nov 2017, 8:33 pm

Zinnel wrote:
....hand or shortly after the supposed date?

basicly here the story

friend of mine and i were disscussing relationships and came to subject of dating

and in middle i mentioned how realy wouldnt know much becuz ive only dated one girl

after saying the name of the girl whom i went out on a date with my friend out of nowwhere says "well we went out once"

i asked, when and began to tell me about the onetime we went to the movies and saw angels and demons(good movie btw)

now i remember that night and never was it said that, that it was a date, but according to her it was, anyway shes alittle upset with me, and im as normal confused about whole thing

so is common for people to actualy label an outing as a date before hand or is it done after the event?

becuz i honestly thought it was said in advance but with this whole sittuation im beginning to wonder if im wrong


First, if she is angry about you not knowing that it was a date then you have nothing to worry about. If she was not romantically interested, then she would not be angry. When a girl worries like this, she is not going anywhere. Your not in the doghouse, your being chased. Actually, it is important in the initial stages of dating that she is the "chaser" because a girl can get bored real quick if your hanging on her feet.

About labeling things as a date. For a new girl, she has to know you are romantically interested otherwise you could end up with a new friend instead of a girlfriend. However, that is all that is required. Choosing a romantic activity will convey this. Otherwise, I think formally calling something a date leads to performance anxiety. If its a date you might think you have to win her, and to do that you think you have to be funny and whatever. Your an entertainer. So, forget calling it a date and go out because you want to go out and enjoy her company.

I think if you hold her hand she will know its a date.