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KimJ
Veteran
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,418
Location: Arizona

30 Oct 2006, 10:09 am

I know exactly what you're saying. I was very resistive to my parents' hugs. Some people here describe situations that seem that we all like hugs but our parents turned us off to it. I didn't want my son to experience that rejection.
When he was a baby, I thought the pulling away was just him being like me. I thought if I gave unconditional hugs, he would like them eventually. But he didn't. It wasn't until we watched The Teletubbies that he learned to talk and express his wants. He was about 2 1/2-3.

One thing about treating your kids equally is to be more understanding with each. Your son might like "love notes" or cartoons instead of hugs.

My parents did the same thing with my brother and I. He was the "golden child". But the problem is, he didn't become their carbon copy and they're furious with him. He realized that they were just using him as a trophy. My mom gets upset and says, 'What happened to you? you were such a sweet boy?"
He says, "I grew up!"