Keeping interest in a romantic relationship...

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I was reading that many aspies tend to "obsess" over someone that they are in a romantic relationship with, then sort of lose interest in them, which is heartbreaking for all involved. Is there any truth to this? It seems like something I might do...is there any way to curtail this and/or keep it from happening? I have yet to be in any type of romantic relationship, but I hope to marry eventually, so any advice would be appreciated!!
Louisa

I dunno if I can speak for everyone with AS, but I have the first part, at least. I obsessed over one person for four years, but I definitely didn't lose interest. Even eight months later, I still haven't really gotten over her.

I have issues with it before and other times I have the first part and don't lose interest. It is more of a phase than anything at times.

That is the primary reason why I avoid them. I have broken alot of hearts, even when they wern't even relationships.

The fact is I wasn't really that compadable with any of them, but it is still an issue.

I can become obsessive about a person, but I have yet to lose interest in a mate or potential mate unless I find out that she has lost interest in me first.

Thank you for your input. I think I will see what I can read and such on this topic. I do not think I will have no problem becoming obsessed with someone who is interested in me, in fact, I think I may do that too easily. Most of my obsessions fade after a month or so(I think everyones' lasts different lengths of time?) Personally I think I'd make a very good partner to someone that I was obsessed with, just so long as I stayed obsessed with them LOL!!
Louisa

Any woman that I try to get involved with I end up becoming very interested in them. Its similar to how I try to find out every detail of some other subject I am interested in.

If an Aspie treats a romantic relationship like anything else, then I could see how they lose interest. But a relationship should be approached a bit differiently then your common "obsession" For me I generally lose interest in something as I reach the upper limits of possible knowledge on the subject. So if I am trying to understand a complex woman with varied and interesting thoughts/likes/interests I doubt I could even begin to understand everything about her.

Of course this all hinges on the other person not thinking the deep understanding is weird.

You make a very good point, Pugly. The article I read was written by a NT, so I should probably find out the AS side of things before I panic next time LOL!!
Louisa

I met a girl in the second semester of 6th grade, and I was like...I love this person beyond all I have before, and although my active feelings for her have ended, hell, I haven't spoken/contacted her in at least 3 months. But I had passive feelings for her nearly 24/7 since first speaking to her. If you develop passive feelings as well, work on those and work torward the goal of a deeply obsessive(but "physically" spacious) relationship. The reason most f*ck up in relationships now in America is that they expect the other to have already built the LEGO set. A true lover, in my opinion/belief, will actually help build the LEGO set.

I never really heard the stereotype the AP mentioned, but it fits my experience to a T. I tend to invest a lot of time in figuring someone out. Once I have them figured out, they're just one more person to me.

My problem isn't in not being able to keep interest, but in the possibility that I just couldn't be able to maintain a relationship for so long. Unless the other person was willing to do some of the work for me to keep things going.

I was obsessing over a girl when I was 14 from swimming... for 4 years.. Then one day it just stopped. I was so relieved... and then the next month my friend came over to tell me she is interested in me... F.........

wow.... what a necro-thread!! !! look at JayShaw's title!! !