Meeting a girl online

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Hello all,

I'm wondering what you think about a standard situation. I play computer games online, and I met a girl there that got my attention. It's currently not more than that, but I would be interested to at least get to know her a littlebit better. We meet in the game's friendslist, or on an IRC channel, with other people talking there as well.

At first I didn't want to talk to her, because I figured being a girl in a guy's world (gaming) would make an approach by me just be number 100 trying to get to know her, and at that time I had absolutely no clue who she was, so I was not even interested (although surely curious). But she actually approached me because she saw I lived not so far away from her. So we had a chat, and I noticed we have a few things in common (of course apart from gaming, which I don't consider as a really important thing).

I just wonder what is the best way to get to know her better from this point. Because when I message her, I'm not sure what to start talking about. So my idea is to first be a little active on that chatroom, so she can see more about who I am, like if I have sense of humor and/or any form of intelligence. The only thing I dislike about these chatrooms is the male competitive nature, guys trying to outwit each other and such. Not that I can't outwit them, but I just don't like that competition stuff.

Another thing I noticed is that she is not eager to tell stuff about herself, it was even hard to find out about her age. What can this secrecy mean?

Finally I would like to repeat that at this point I only regard her as someone whom I would like to know more about, and nothing more. But I'm just curious about your views on meeting a girl in a chatroom in the first place, and how to best get to know someone in that situation.

Thanks for reading

It's a good sign that she's interested in you because you live close to her, imho. You could send her a private message on IRC or ingame. It's understandable that she doesn't want to talk about personal details in a public chat. In a one on one conversation, she might open up and tell you more about herself.

Most people love to talk about themselves, so you can keep the conversation going by asking her questions and finding out if you have common interests. If she's still reluctant to talk about herself, talk about your life and your interests instead.

Ahh, another internet interest :3 I have a lot of experience in that field (My current BF and my ex I met both online. One was 3 hours time different, my current was on the other side of the world.)

1x1 chat in a private setting (IM, private message, etc) is a wonderful way to try to get to know someone. (I had a less orthodox method to start with xD I just followed all his forum posts until I was invited into a chat) If she feels comfortable chatting with you over private messaging, maybe work your way to instant messaging (msn and the like), and see where you go from there Constant contact that way shows them that you care about socializing with them, and it also helps get to know how you and the other person are, how you might work out as friends or more.

With my Ex, he had a relationship that started as friends (we both were rookie graphic designers), were a couple for a year, but the last six months we were falling to bits over several things (among those issues I was falling for my current boyfriend, despite the 14 hour time difference).

Short-distance internet friendships are amazing, longer-distance can be pretty painful. (two of my best friends are 10 hours behind me now, instead of 5 hours ahead, because QLD doesn't follow daylight saving time)

Hope this helped in some way xD