Maybe this will be a useful wake up call for some here....

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MXH
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14 Mar 2012, 9:32 am

BTW ill make an example of this. My parents went from my dad being the bread winner by a small margin to my mom now making twice as much as him when her career kicked on. For them it wasnt a big deal but i can see how that would scare most guys.



ToughDiamond
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14 Mar 2012, 9:53 am

mv wrote:
It's an interesting theory, but it makes me wonder: who is constructing these gender roles? Are they somewhat natural (they are not, to me, but then I'm on the spectrum)? Are they reinforced for the greater good, despite not being good supportive constructs, generally?

I would think that females must have evolved to select in favour of mates who are more likely to protect them from poverty during their child-bearing years. A thin wallet would be risking the kids' lives. So I guess it's natural. On the other hand, there have probably been human societies that did things differently, so I think society also has a big hand in the construction of gender roles.

I think societies are changing too quickly for it to be at all easy to know what's currently happening. In evolutionary terms, people behave as they do because it worked for their ancestors........if the environment changes, it might continue to work, or it might not. We rarely know whether we're dealing with an appropriate instinct or an outmoded relic that has been rendered counterproductive.

I would speculate that the female preference for loaded men will slowly become less important as women become economically independent. But unless society gets a lot less competitive, I think it will always be a consideration. You can never have too much economic security for your kids. If you go down, our society won't give you much support.



mv
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14 Mar 2012, 10:04 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
I think societies are changing too quickly for it to be at all easy to know what's currently happening. In evolutionary terms, people behave as they do because it worked for their ancestors........if the environment changes, it might continue to work, or it might not. We rarely know whether we're dealing with an appropriate instinct or an outmoded relic that has been rendered counterproductive.


I think this is the key, here.

I don't see how depending on someone else's income for your own future is "economically secure". Yes, you could hope that things go your way in court, but that's a really sh***y way to live. I can *only* live independently, relying on no one else, for me and my children. I'm fortunate that my ex- and I have an agreement to split all costs associated with our kids 50/50, but I never, ever want to be dependent on that.



ToughDiamond
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14 Mar 2012, 10:31 am

mv wrote:
I don't see how depending on someone else's income for your own future is "economically secure". Yes, you could hope that things go your way in court, but that's a really sh***y way to live. I can *only* live independently, relying on no one else, for me and my children. I'm fortunate that my ex- and I have an agreement to split all costs associated with our kids 50/50, but I never, ever want to be dependent on that.

I agree it looks yukky, but then I always was rather aloof from mainstream customs. The law is pretty strong on maintenance payments for kids, pension deals for exes who have operated shared finances or worked as homemakers. If the guy gets the lady or her kids accustomed to regular financial support, it's her right to force him to continue after separation, within limits. People can be remarkably mercenary. I was once horrified at the number of women from a dating agency who seemed wide open to a relationship with me.....until I realised they were all living in the ex-Soviet bloc..........I'm sure they just wanted a legal right to stay in the UK. Otherwise why not cast their nets nearer to home?



anna-banana
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14 Mar 2012, 11:05 am

I have yet to meet a wealthy man without a trophy wife/girlfriend. just saying.


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MXH
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14 Mar 2012, 11:21 am

anna-banana wrote:
I have yet to meet a wealthy man without a trophy wife/girlfriend. just saying.


And ive yet to meet one with a trophy wife



MissConstrue
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14 Mar 2012, 11:33 am

MXH wrote:
And ive yet to meet one with a trophy wife



Image


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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2012, 11:45 am

anna-banana wrote:
I have yet to meet a wealthy man without a trophy wife/girlfriend. just saying.



Melinda Gates doesn't look or presented as a "trophy" wife by the media (aka not a model).

Same for Kerry's wife, Mrs Heinz.

Back to topic and don't fret, Anna, you can still be someone's trophy ;p



mv
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14 Mar 2012, 11:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Same for Kerry's wife, Mrs Heinz.


She was the one with all the dough, not him (not comparatively, anyway). I guess he's her trophy husband! Seriously, though, her previous husband was killed in a plane crash. It's nice that she and Kerry found each other after that.



anna-banana
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14 Mar 2012, 12:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
I have yet to meet a wealthy man without a trophy wife/girlfriend. just saying.



Melinda Gates doesn't look or presented as a "trophy" wife by the media (aka not a model).

Same for Kerry's wife, Mrs Heinz.



I dunno, I haven't met Bill. and anyway, exceptions just prove the rule.

I bet all y'all who b***h and whine about women being "gold diggers" would be only dating chicks dozens of leagues ahead of you in the looks department if you had the dough ;P

wealthy women want wealthy men. wealthy men want beautiful women. big f*****g deal. :shrug:


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14 Mar 2012, 12:25 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/do-you-need-a-man-to-make-more-money-than-you-if-so-why/#.T2BdiYGPXzM

what point are you making? that article misinterpreted some important data, but i have no idea what you're trying to say.

the article presented the inaccurate idea that women benefit more from men's wealth, when in fact the opposite is true: men benefit more from women's wealth.


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MXH
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14 Mar 2012, 12:25 pm

anna-banana wrote:
wealthy women want wealthy men. wealthy men want beautiful women. big f***ing deal. :shrug:


Im pretty sure boo's reason for this thread was to put down the common wp thought that women dont do anything wrong and only men are pigs and such.

But returning to the point, for the past 6 or so years I spent all my time out of my room around guys who made over 500k a year. None had a trophy wife, if anything they all had found their wives in the most humble of manners. that the asshat with a couple of million makes more noise than all the men like these is a different story. Remember you only hear the one that talks the loudest



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14 Mar 2012, 12:29 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
who is constructing these gender roles? Are they somewhat natural (they are not, to me, but then I'm on the spectrum)? Are they reinforced for the greater good, despite not being good supportive constructs, generally?


^^One word: Evolution.

no, that's not accurate because through most of human prehistory belongings were communal. it was only when we became settled and sedentary in farming cultures that personal wealth became important. it was in the same period that societies became almost-universally patriarchal, so women generally didn't have access to wealth of their own.


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hyperlexian
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14 Mar 2012, 12:30 pm

MXH wrote:
Im pretty sure boo's reason for this thread was to put down the common wp thought that women dont do anything wrong and only men are pigs and such.

i haven't seen anyone say that. if you see any sexists posts against men, feel free to report them if they have been missed.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2012, 12:34 pm

mv wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Same for Kerry's wife, Mrs Heinz.


She was the one with all the dough, not him (not comparatively, anyway). I guess he's her trophy husband! Seriously, though, her previous husband was killed in a plane crash. It's nice that she and Kerry found each other after that.


True that lol

Other examples Laurene powell (steve jobs' wife).

Even Laura Bush wasn't the typical "trophy" wife either.



smudge
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14 Mar 2012, 12:35 pm

He put up this article to hint at me. He assumes that I'm *only* looking for someone wealthier than me. Anyway, I'm taken - by someone more or less equal to me in terms of monetary worth.

Quote:
I bet all y'all who b***h and whine about women being "gold diggers" would be only dating chicks dozens of leagues ahead of you in the looks department if you had the dough ;P

wealthy women want wealthy men. wealthy men want beautiful women. big f***ing deal.


Precisely.