Help! Best friend (male) kissed me (male)! !! !



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InternationalFleet
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:00 pm

I don't know what to do. My family's going through a rough time, so my friend, who knows me very well and knew it'd be stressful at home for me, picked me up to go see the new Sherlock Holmes. He and I have known each other for fifteen years, because our mothers are best friends, too. We watched the movie, but I got bored, and he sensed that I was bored, (he knows me this well) so we went to the library, got books, and read them at the park. We were talking about philosophy when he kissed me on the mouth. I didn't know what to do. So I just let him and didn't talk. I couldn't even say anything on the ride home. I couldn't even talk to my mom. I can TYPE, but I don't want to email him. I don't know what happened. Of course I didn't see it coming. I don't understand. I had no idea, and now I have no idea what to do. Anyone-- help?



Alexender
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:02 pm

Are you gay? (not trying to be mean by asking this) I think that could be kind of important for this topic


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mushroo
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:05 pm

I believe the scientific term for your feeling of excitement and speechlessness is "twitterpated." Sounds like a great date, congrats on taking your friendship to the next level! :)



TechnoDog
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:09 pm

Or could of just been too shocked to move.

Just if it happens again just back off, if you don't have that type of feeling for the other.

Just say I am straight or something, reason I did not move last time is because I was caught off guard & I just want to be friends. Serious it is common for even male & females to get this reaction.

They either react or freeze. So depends how you feel about it.


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InternationalFleet
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:10 pm

I'm not gay. I don't think so. I don't think I like girls or boys. Besides Princess Leia in the third grade, I've not had crushes. Too busy. I don't know. It's bothering me a lot.



Alexender
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:13 pm

I wasn't all that interested in girls until I was almost 18.


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MaxShock
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:15 pm

Just tell him that you're neither bisexual or gay, and what he did surprised you and upset you.

If you want to remain friends, make sure he knows that you are annoyed with him, but want to stay friends.

After that, explain why kissing a best friend is a stupid idea.

It was wrong letting this just sit, so you should talk to him soon, and apologize for not explaining this sooner, while telling him that what he did really upset you.


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InternationalFleet
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:23 pm

I don't know how I feel, honestly. I'll have to "run diagnostics." Maybe I should have seen it. But he's my ONLY friend, and I'll be completely friendless if he leaves. I don't even know if he likes me. If you can't tell, my mind is looping.



mushroo
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:25 pm

Disagree with the advice above to tell your friend he was stupid/annoying/inappropriate.

Maybe your friend has been trying to work up the nerve to do this for a while. Or maybe he misinterpreted something you did or said.

If you are not interested and want to save the friendship then a simple, "I think we got our signals wrong last time we hung out; sorry I didn't say anything but you really kind of surprised me!"

Or maybe the reason you are unsure about your sexuality is that you have never been with someone you love and trust. If you love and trust your best friend, maybe he is the ideal person to help you explore/discover your feelings. Just a thought...



TechnoDog
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:27 pm

InternationalFleet wrote:
I don't know how I feel, honestly. I'll have to "run diagnostics." Maybe I should have seen it. But he's my ONLY friend, and I'll be completely friendless if he leaves. I don't even know if he likes me. If you can't tell, my mind is looping.


Just put a email like this:- When you decide how you feel about it.

Quote:
About what happened in the park. When you kissed me, I was shocked & could not move, you caught me off guard. I don't have feelings like that for you, I would like to just be friends. I hope we can put this behind & don't feel bad about it.


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InternationalFleet
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:37 pm

Do NT's really get over things that quickly? I know I couldn't. I may be projecting my feelings onto him in thinking that he'll be hurt. I have NO idea what his reaction will be. Another question, can friends kiss like that? My mom kisses her friends on their cheeks, and I've seen countless children kiss each other, and those kisses can't POSSIBLY have sexual implications. I don't know. But why would he do this now, when things are odd at my house? Does he want to catch me vulnerable? I have no idea. But we're brothers, almost. We talk every night for at least an hour. We have the same handwriting because we wrote with each other for so long. Fifteen years. And I didn't think things would change. He likes Rose from Doctor Who, I thought. He watches a lot of TV, and calls me Dr. Spenser Reid. We have nicknames. We write stories together. We go places together, and he spent a week with my family in Hawaii. He's touched my hair before, just petting it like a cat, or something, but brothers do that. I know I would if I had a little brother. Could these things be misinterpreted?



TechnoDog
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:48 pm

InternationalFleet wrote:
Do NT's really get over things that quickly? I know I couldn't.


Some people put it behind, but will hold onto it, but not show it. Some people get over it fast.

InternationalFleet wrote:
Can friends kiss like that? My mom kisses her friends on their cheeks, and I've seen countless children kiss each other, and those kisses can't POSSIBLY have sexual implications.


Kiss on the cheek is a greeting, some do a peck on lips. But longer would suggest different.

InternationalFleet wrote:
I don't know. But why would he do this now, when things are odd at my house? Does he want to catch me vulnerable? I have no idea. But we're brothers, almost. We talk every night for at least an hour. We have the same handwriting because we wrote with each other for so long. Fifteen years. And I didn't think things would change. He likes Rose from Doctor Who, I thought. He watches a lot of TV, and calls me Dr. Spenser Reid. We have nicknames. We write stories together. We go places together, and he spent a week with my family in Hawaii. He's touched my hair before, just petting it like a cat, or something


Sounds like he has feelings for you, that is more than just friends. Hes not your brother though, & a brother kissing on the lips? I know some people can have a friends with benefits.


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mushroo
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:57 pm

I just want to say that, no matter whether it turns out to be best-friend-love or romantic-love, you are very lucky to have someone who understands and cares about you. I hope that you will not be angry with your friend, whatever you decide. :)



InternationalFleet
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:01 pm

This is just awful, then. I could have led him on. I think I know when. When he touched my hair it felt good so I asked him to continue. That was last week. Maybe that was the turning point. I'm so stupid. But, he matters a lot to me as my friend, sometimes only friend, someone who has put up with me for a long time, someone that I've stopped from suicide, someone that I wanted to be roommates with in college even though people are annoying. It's like a paradigm shift for me. I even thought a few seconds ago that I WOULD be open to being his boyfriend, because I care about him so much, and don't want to lose him, but then got really grossed out when I thought about the implications.



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Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:03 pm

InternationalFleet wrote:
I don't know what to do. My family's going through a rough time, so my friend, who knows me very well and knew it'd be stressful at home for me, picked me up to go see the new Sherlock Holmes. He and I have known each other for fifteen years, because our mothers are best friends, too. We watched the movie, but I got bored, and he sensed that I was bored, (he knows me this well) so we went to the library, got books, and read them at the park. We were talking about philosophy when he kissed me on the mouth. I didn't know what to do. So I just let him and didn't talk. I couldn't even say anything on the ride home. I couldn't even talk to my mom. I can TYPE, but I don't want to email him. I don't know what happened. Of course I didn't see it coming. I don't understand. I had no idea, and now I have no idea what to do. Anyone-- help?


Was he hot :lol: I don mind kissing guys :wink:



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