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Onyxaxe
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27 Mar 2012, 11:11 am

I'm tired of hearing about "shyness" as a disorder. I'm reserved and it ain't no disorder. That's not why I'm seeking out an Aspergers diagnosis. I'm trying to get help for the dark thoughts, obsessiveness, mood swings, self harm. Everytime I try to find out why I can't control my limbs or etc etc They start the talk about "autistics and people on the ASD's inability to communicate efficently". I mean does everyone here actually feel disabled or is Aspergers purely an inability to mend with others?. That isn't even a problem for me unless I feel like my head's about to explode and then I want to be left alone. Am I seeking the wrong diagnosis or are people that determined to make people with Aspergers extroverted like everyone else?. For me whatever I have is as crippling as a broken leg.



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27 Mar 2012, 11:19 am

It's not strictly a social/communication disorder.



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27 Mar 2012, 11:35 am

I feel my AS is actually disabling. I can connect to other people, and I can get emotionally close and even attached to other people, and I can relate to a lot of people too. I just find social situations an obstacle, because I'm so scared of doing or saying the wrong thing, and the right words never come into my head when I need them, so I just remain awkward in social situations. I find I get so anxious because of never quite knowing what to do or how to be. I feel people can sense my shyness and social anxiety, and so they avoid making friendly conversation with me already.

It's not a case of being able or unable to relate to people. It's just a case of knowing what to say, and being confident enough to speak up. When I'm being excluded from a group conversation, I sit and listen, and can relate to them and know what they're talking about, without even having to talk to them.

So I just consider my condition to be a disability, since I'm unable to know what to say to people or how to appear. I'm good with recognising body language and other non-verbal expressions from other people, but I find it difficult to make my own non-verbal expressions, although I am working on it.

So anyway, I think the main part of any Autism spectrum disorder is the social issues, because that's something we all have in common. But that's not the only trait, but there are a lot of AS traits that I don't have, even though I'm still a diagnosed Aspie.


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27 Mar 2012, 11:49 am

No it's a lot more then that...and in some ways I feel disabled by it but not all ways for instance I have sensory sensitivity...so normal volume might be loud to me, normal lighting might be too bright for me, when the t.v looks off but is still on I can hear that obnoxious electronic noise ect. Also either its the constant thoughts going on in my mind all the time or slow processing of information but I come off as slow quite often, which makes a lot of people assume I can't possibly be intelligent....and it bothers me when people insult my intelligence which happens due to this. Also, at every job I've had I run into 'you're too slow' even if I am making my best effort to be as quick and efficient as I can.

As for the social issues, I don't really want to 'fit in' to this society anyways, as there is nothing I like about it....and I don't want to put on an act so people like me. But sometimes AS can interfere with social interaction I do want, like I cannot even initiate interaction with people I don't know unless its in a situation like I have to order food, so I am supposed to go up and initiate that rather than not. Also depression and anxiety co-exists with AS for a lot of people including me...so thats not directly related to the AS but obviously those issues don't help matters.

And good luck with anyone making every introverted person with AS into an extrovert........its not happening as far as I am concerned, I don't think I have enough useless things to talk about to put on an extrovert act.


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Onyxaxe
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27 Mar 2012, 12:04 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I feel my AS is actually disabling. I can connect to other people, and I can get emotionally close and even attached to other people, and I can relate to a lot of people too. I just find social situations an obstacle, because I'm so scared of doing or saying the wrong thing, and the right words never come into my head when I need them, so I just remain awkward in social situations. I find I get so anxious because of never quite knowing what to do or how to be. I feel people can sense my shyness and social anxiety, and so they avoid making friendly conversation with me already.

It's not a case of being able or unable to relate to people. It's just a case of knowing what to say, and being confident enough to speak up. When I'm being excluded from a group conversation, I sit and listen, and can relate to them and know what they're talking about, without even having to talk to them.

So I just consider my condition to be a disability, since I'm unable to know what to say to people or how to appear. I'm good with recognising body language and other non-verbal expressions from other people, but I find it difficult to make my own non-verbal expressions, although I am working on it.

So anyway, I think the main part of any Autism spectrum disorder is the social issues, because that's something we all have in common. But that's not the only trait, but there are a lot of AS traits that I don't have, even though I'm still a diagnosed Aspie.


Doesn't this make it a disorder instead of a disability?. I don't think introversion can keep you from feeding yourself or walking. It also doesn't mean you can't work. I'm not trying to downtalk your discomforts but I think the terminology would be different here. For me my shyness is bullheaded, I'm not so afraid of saying the wrong things I just want to be left alone and that hasn't been a disabling factor for me in the past. I've held a few jobs for over a year and worked my entire childhood, all in retail and customer service.



Onyxaxe
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27 Mar 2012, 12:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
No it's a lot more then that...and in some ways I feel disabled by it but not all ways for instance I have sensory sensitivity...so normal volume might be loud to me, normal lighting might be too bright for me, when the t.v looks off but is still on I can hear that obnoxious electronic noise ect. Also either its the constant thoughts going on in my mind all the time or slow processing of information but I come off as slow quite often, which makes a lot of people assume I can't possibly be intelligent....and it bothers me when people insult my intelligence which happens due to this. Also, at every job I've had I run into 'you're too slow' even if I am making my best effort to be as quick and efficient as I can.

As for the social issues, I don't really want to 'fit in' to this society anyways, as there is nothing I like about it....and I don't want to put on an act so people like me. But sometimes AS can interfere with social interaction I do want, like I cannot even initiate interaction with people I don't know unless its in a situation like I have to order food, so I am supposed to go up and initiate that rather than not. Also depression and anxiety co-exists with AS for a lot of people including me...so thats not directly related to the AS but obviously those issues don't help matters.

And good luck with anyone making every introverted person with AS into an extrovert........its not happening as far as I am concerned, I don't think I have enough useless things to talk about to put on an extrovert act.


Ditto. After a lot of thought I'm starting to wonder if I'm high functioning or not. Just because I can keep a straight face doesn't mean I'm not having a meltdown. Noises aggravate me to death, and I've had panic attacks due to the smell of someone's perfume at work or constant traffic in front of my eyes. I was forced to live neurotypically as a child though so that's the only reason I can fake it to a degree. Doesn't mean I'm not disabled by it or feeling postal inside.



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27 Mar 2012, 12:10 pm

It's so much more than just a social disorder. Some of the things listed in the first post back that up. It's really a whole host of things that affect pretty much everything, hence why it's called a 'pervasive developmental disorder', it can almost affect every part of who a person is, from sensory sensitivity to controlling and unwanted (from not only others but yourself aswell) narcissistic behaviour and all sorts of comorbid conditions, which are so common with AS they may as well be in the diagnostic criteria - such as dyspraxia and other movement disorders such as tic disorders etc.


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27 Mar 2012, 12:38 pm

Onyxaxe wrote:
I'm tired of hearing about "shyness" as a disorder. I'm reserved and it ain't no disorder. That's not why I'm seeking out an Aspergers diagnosis. I'm trying to get help for the dark thoughts, obsessiveness, mood swings, self harm. Everytime I try to find out why I can't control my limbs or etc etc They start the talk about "autistics and people on the ASD's inability to communicate efficently". I mean does everyone here actually feel disabled or is Aspergers purely an inability to mend with others?. That isn't even a problem for me unless I feel like my head's about to explode and then I want to be left alone. Am I seeking the wrong diagnosis or are people that determined to make people with Aspergers extroverted like everyone else?. For me whatever I have is as crippling as a broken leg.


If there are no sensory issues then it is probably not an autistic disorder.



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27 Mar 2012, 12:43 pm

Onyxaxe wrote:
Doesn't this make it a disorder instead of a disability? ...


It is a developmental, neurological disorder that can lead to several disabilities, including social disabilities.



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27 Mar 2012, 12:44 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
No it's a lot more then that...and in some ways I feel disabled by it but not all ways for instance I have sensory sensitivity...so normal volume might be loud to me, normal lighting might be too bright for me, when the t.v looks off but is still on I can hear that obnoxious electronic noise ect. Also either its the constant thoughts going on in my mind all the time or slow processing of information but I come off as slow quite often, which makes a lot of people assume I can't possibly be intelligent....and it bothers me when people insult my intelligence which happens due to this. Also, at every job I've had I run into 'you're too slow' even if I am making my best effort to be as quick and efficient as I can.

As for the social issues, I don't really want to 'fit in' to this society anyways, as there is nothing I like about it....and I don't want to put on an act so people like me. But sometimes AS can interfere with social interaction I do want, like I cannot even initiate interaction with people I don't know unless its in a situation like I have to order food, so I am supposed to go up and initiate that rather than not. Also depression and anxiety co-exists with AS for a lot of people including me...so thats not directly related to the AS but obviously those issues don't help matters.

And good luck with anyone making every introverted person with AS into an extrovert........its not happening as far as I am concerned, I don't think I have enough useless things to talk about to put on an extrovert act.


Being a conformist is impossible for me. If a band, say, is popular at a time I won't like them until at least five years later when every one else has forgotten about them.

The clothes I wear are the same. Always long gone in fashion terms, but I like that.

I guess it doesn't really help making myself stick out so much, but I just don't like giving people a reason to look at me. Unwittingly though that's probably exactly what I am doing, but screw them.

As for trying to make an extrovert out of an introvert? that ends in tears. If I feel forced in any way whatsoever I will just flip the lid. The only thing that makes me happy is being alone and familiarity and repetitive lifestyle. That is the only way I have found to cope.



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27 Mar 2012, 12:53 pm

It would be great if shyness was my ONLY problem in life, but..
Life ain't fair! It is one of a group pf problems. Asperger's effects you across a wide area of functioning.

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27 Mar 2012, 1:23 pm

Asperger's is a disorder that can sometimes be disabling. It is also definitely not just a social disorder. It is a neurological disorder that has physical, social, learning, and mental aspects to it. It is often comorbid with a number of other disorders. Among Asperger's traits, but not exclusively are:

- Physical sensitivities to = sound, light, taste, touch, smell, and skin sensitivities. There are also often input processing problems in the brain, and this often leads to a time lag in comprehension, and resulting output. Another feature is the ability to concentrate over whelmingly on things of particular interest, while not being good at inputting info about things that are not of interest.

- Mental aspects = Depression is very common among people on the spectrum. Many of us have such a hard time trying to socialize, that we give up and turn to the introvert life. We eventually get to prefer that, as it is less stressful, than trying to socialize, and we don't handle stress well. There have been other things reported, but I am not an expert, and have been over whelmed by the alphabet soup of acronyms lately.

- A number of learning disabilities have been reported as being common with spectrum people. I can't remember all the names. Also, it's been a long time since my childhood, and I don't have kids of my own, so I just can't seem to register that info too good, as it isn't relevant to me.

- Social aspects = Including shyness/social anxiety, trouble with eye contact, trouble with reading social cues, discomfort in social situations, not bonding well even with friends and relatives.

The various combinations of traits can make it very difficult to interact with the NT world, including in the areas of employment and personal relationships, so I would consider that aspect of it to be disabling.

I hope this clears things up for you somewhat. :D


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27 Mar 2012, 1:32 pm

Blackholesun wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
No it's a lot more then that...and in some ways I feel disabled by it but not all ways for instance I have sensory sensitivity...so normal volume might be loud to me, normal lighting might be too bright for me, when the t.v looks off but is still on I can hear that obnoxious electronic noise ect. Also either its the constant thoughts going on in my mind all the time or slow processing of information but I come off as slow quite often, which makes a lot of people assume I can't possibly be intelligent....and it bothers me when people insult my intelligence which happens due to this. Also, at every job I've had I run into 'you're too slow' even if I am making my best effort to be as quick and efficient as I can.

As for the social issues, I don't really want to 'fit in' to this society anyways, as there is nothing I like about it....and I don't want to put on an act so people like me. But sometimes AS can interfere with social interaction I do want, like I cannot even initiate interaction with people I don't know unless its in a situation like I have to order food, so I am supposed to go up and initiate that rather than not. Also depression and anxiety co-exists with AS for a lot of people including me...so thats not directly related to the AS but obviously those issues don't help matters.

And good luck with anyone making every introverted person with AS into an extrovert........its not happening as far as I am concerned, I don't think I have enough useless things to talk about to put on an extrovert act.


Being a conformist is impossible for me. If a band, say, is popular at a time I won't like them until at least five years later when every one else has forgotten about them.

The clothes I wear are the same. Always long gone in fashion terms, but I like that.

I guess it doesn't really help making myself stick out so much, but I just don't like giving people a reason to look at me. Unwittingly though that's probably exactly what I am doing, but screw them.

As for trying to make an extrovert out of an introvert? that ends in tears. If I feel forced in any way whatsoever I will just flip the lid. The only thing that makes me happy is being alone and familiarity and repetitive lifestyle. That is the only way I have found to cope.


When it comes to music I like the bands I like, if a band I liked happened to be the most popular band I'd still like it....but I highly doubt the majority of people are going to start listening to metal and psychedelic rock so that is unlikely. As for clothes I like if they are comfortable and if I like how they look other then that I don't care and what looks good to me is a band t-shirt and jeans with holes in them or something like that.

Also I dress more extreme if I am going to be in public and don't want to talk to anyone, that way people unless they are really cool and not someone I mind talking to are likely to avoid me. Also I don't nessisarly like being alone, but I prefer just a couple people I get along with then a whole huge group and I need some repetition and famileratity but I could not stick to a specific routine if my life depended on it. So yeah I think I'll remain introverted and put no effort into becoming extroverted.


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27 Mar 2012, 1:36 pm

no because of sensory issues that is evidence that is more than just social defecits



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27 Mar 2012, 1:43 pm

Onyxaxe wrote:
Doesn't this make it a disorder instead of a disability?. I don't think introversion can keep you from feeding yourself or walking.


Disorder is not mutally exclusive from disability, and disability covers a lot more than "keep you from feeding yourself or walking." You can be disabled and have no difficulties at all with mobility, eating, and other issues.

Also, shyness - which is most likely social anxiety with many people - can be socially disabling.



Onyxaxe
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27 Mar 2012, 1:44 pm

Thanks everyone. This has probably been the most defining thread for my symptoms. I can relate to everything on here that people took the time to define. Even though theoretically I could say I am socially disabled why should I?. I don't don "flaws or disabilities, faults" etc unless I have to. The rest of the world needs to be more thoughtful lol. Again thanks to everyone for their input. It's helped a lot.