I should have been born a girl



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Joker
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27 Mar 2012, 11:51 pm

I do not feel normal at times being a guy I have so much in common with women that its hard some times being a man any thoughts on why I feel this way?

Im not sure if its because of my Bigenderness but I tend to have more female tendencies then I do male gender type behavior gosh it just gets so confusing it frustrates me to the point of madness.



LKL
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28 Mar 2012, 1:06 am

HI Joker- a lot of us aspies are gender non-conforming. Unless you have body dysphoria (ie, the physical genitals you have seem profoundly 'wrong' on your body), I think it's safe to say that you're just not a typical man, rather than that there's anyting 'wrong' with who you are. The fact that the culture places such strict rules on us about what a man is an what a woman is, is what is wrong; many cultures in the past (including several of the native Californian tribes) were much more casual about who was supposed to be what.
I train in aikido, I like to aruge ('discuss') and am otherwise usually quiet, I'm usually not overtly emotional, I try not to be dependent and ask for help... a lot of people assume I'm gay, but I'm about as straight as anyone Kinsey ever measured.

Speaking of whom, you might try looking into Kinsey's research to give you some insight into what you're feeling. You're far from being alone, believe me.



Joker
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28 Mar 2012, 1:39 am

Well thank you LKL I needed some ones opinon on the matter it's just hard some times really on a emotional level I score a lot higher as a female then a male.

But I have some but very few male qualitys about my personality I do like to work out and exercise when I can recenlty I put myself on a stricter diet a lot of my friends notice the girl tendeices about me they think im well gay when they dont understand what being bigender is.



kittylover
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28 Mar 2012, 5:17 am

Transgender feelings vary in severity from person to person. Many guys think that they're more like women, but don't feel a compelling need to actually become a woman.

For some people, it actually is severe. I cry and wish myself dead every day because I so severely don't want to be male anymore.

You have to figure out where you lie on the transgender spectrum, because all transpeople are different.



LKL
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28 Mar 2012, 11:25 am

Kittylover, is there any way you can get reassignment surgery? It sounds like you would waltz through the screening without a hitch, and many insurance comapnies/medicaid beauros consider it 'medically necessary' when someone has body dysphoria that serious. From what I have heard, M to F surgery has actually gotten quite good.



Joker
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28 Mar 2012, 1:56 pm

I just feel so weird in my own skin some times but I wouldnt want to do anything as extreme like getting made into a woman though I would miss my Mr Happy a lot.



Agemaki
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28 Mar 2012, 9:02 pm

Do you feel like the problem is more of a social expectation or of being uncomfortable with your body? I have a friend who is in the process of becoming a woman and is currently on hormone therapy. I also know guys who have no interest in changing their bodies but just enjoy creating a somewhat feminine appearance.



OliveOilMom
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29 Mar 2012, 2:56 am

Every time someone mentions sex change surgery, I always think of the book "Myra Breckenridge" and how, when she was being put to sleep before her surgery, she started singing "I'll Be Seeing You In All The Old Familiar Places" to her penis, because they were about to cut it off.

ETA; On a side note, I think guy on guy is really hot and I could have a sex change to be a guy, and be a gay guy, and be perfectly happy I think. I would miss some of the girl things about me though. Dressing up and all that.


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Joker
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30 Mar 2012, 2:03 pm

Agemaki wrote:
Do you feel like the problem is more of a social expectation or of being uncomfortable with your body? I have a friend who is in the process of becoming a woman and is currently on hormone therapy. I also know guys who have no interest in changing their bodies but just enjoy creating a somewhat feminine appearance.


Im just weird I have a very manly apperance with a feminne masclince personality my brain is like a ping pong ball getting hit back and forth to the mascaline side to the femminie side all day long.



dreamy
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31 Mar 2012, 10:09 pm

IMO it's more common than you think. It's just most of the men keep it a secret and it takes time to accept it about themselves. IMO the average androgynous/trans person takes many years to even be able to say "this is who I am" to themselves or close friends or strangers, and not feel ashamed. Now it's finally becoming more acceptable, so IMO you see many men and women dressing androgynously - or transitioning to living as the other gender.



Joker
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31 Mar 2012, 10:44 pm

I know I accept myself for who I am but other's don't but I don't care cause I love myself.



dreamy
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11 May 2012, 6:09 am

That's great. I like being in a female body but I think there's some things I would love if I could be in a male body. In my head I am male a lot more of the time than female, and a lot of me is gender neutral.



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