The inscrutable Christian marriage dynamic

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Ragtime
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09 Apr 2012, 11:51 am

You sure love exclamation points, don't you? :lol: Everyone probably thinks you're saying things more emphatically than you are, but that's okay. :)


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hyperlexian
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09 Apr 2012, 12:12 pm

Mirror wrote:
Yeah! We share a lot of decision making and everyday things! Like were we want to go eat, what movie to go see, what we want to do on any given day. If I don't have a particular preference about something he will usually choose. ie. Ragtime, "Where do you want to go eat?". Me, "I don't know what I feel like eating". "Well, I want to eat at Rockfish!". "Sounds good!". But the thing that really governs both our decision makings is whether we have the money to do it or not! lol And if I want something I ask Ragtime because he governs the finances. And depending on the price he'll usually let me buy it. And he thinks the same way when he buys his own stuff. He governs me the same way he governs himself because his main goal in life is to keep us both alive and well.

And, a lot of the time when were at home I let him watch what he wants too. (at least I try! :V ) Since I don't work I get to stay home and be on the computer and TV as much as I want. So when Ragtime gets home Its only fair that he gets to watch his shows and use the computer! It's a balancing act! We both do what we can for the other to please them!

Everyone seems to think he's some ruthless bastard who is like "Here, you f***ing b***h! I bought you a month supply of Ramen for you to eat. While I got me delicious steak and cakes that I demand for you to make me everyday!! And if you ever over/under cook any of my meals, I will whip you with this here bull whip -that I bought with all the money I saved from not buying you clothes and tampons- till you bleed and make you repent for your transgressions! You f***ing sinning animal!! ! (*HUMOR!* He is NOT like this!! I don't want to confuse anyone!! !)

And feel free to ask me any more questions about our relationship that your worried and confused about! :3

i don't think anyone said that he does that to you, so it seems that you're massively exaggerating here.

do you work full-time?


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Mirror
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09 Apr 2012, 12:48 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Mirror wrote:
Yeah! We share a lot of decision making and everyday things! Like were we want to go eat, what movie to go see, what we want to do on any given day. If I don't have a particular preference about something he will usually choose. ie. Ragtime, "Where do you want to go eat?". Me, "I don't know what I feel like eating". "Well, I want to eat at Rockfish!". "Sounds good!". But the thing that really governs both our decision makings is whether we have the money to do it or not! lol And if I want something I ask Ragtime because he governs the finances. And depending on the price he'll usually let me buy it. And he thinks the same way when he buys his own stuff. He governs me the same way he governs himself because his main goal in life is to keep us both alive and well.

And, a lot of the time when were at home I let him watch what he wants too. (at least I try! :V ) Since I don't work I get to stay home and be on the computer and TV as much as I want. So when Ragtime gets home Its only fair that he gets to watch his shows and use the computer! It's a balancing act! We both do what we can for the other to please them!

Everyone seems to think he's some ruthless bastard who is like "Here, you f***ing b***h! I bought you a month supply of Ramen for you to eat. While I got me delicious steak and cakes that I demand for you to make me everyday!! And if you ever over/under cook any of my meals, I will whip you with this here bull whip -that I bought with all the money I saved from not buying you clothes and tampons- till you bleed and make you repent for your transgressions! You f***ing sinning animal!! ! (*HUMOR!* He is NOT like this!! I don't want to confuse anyone!! !)

And feel free to ask me any more questions about our relationship that your worried and confused about! :3

i don't think anyone said that he does that to you, so it seems that you're massively exaggerating here.

do you work full-time?


Gonna work part time hopefully in a few days! :D Just waiting for my background check info! I never worked full time before, even before I married Ragtime. Sadly, When I almost got to full time on both jobs they went into bankruptcy because of the economy.


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Mirror
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09 Apr 2012, 12:50 pm

Ragtime wrote:
You sure love exclamation points, don't you? :lol: Everyone probably thinks you're saying things more emphatically than you are, but that's okay. :)


The words are excited in my head! :D


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hyperlexian
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09 Apr 2012, 12:50 pm

why don't you work full-time? do you apply for full-time jobs?


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Mirror
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09 Apr 2012, 1:01 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
why don't you work full-time? do you apply for full-time jobs?


When I first got my jobs all they were doing is hiring for part time. One of them, Waldenbooks. was seasonal temp. And I wanted to work for them permanently and I got threw and was the only one that did! :D And I stayed part time till they went out of business. At Deck the Walls I worked part time 32 hours. three hours shy from full time until I moved to Dallas and found out 3 months latter they went out of business.

My other jobs was working at McDonalds when I was 18 and they basically told me that I wasn't cut out for working there because I just got underfoot. I couldn't carry large boxes of fries because they weighed over half of my weight. I weighed 75lb then and the bags was 40lb. So they kept demoting me till I was cleaning tables and people would feel sorry for me and give me money. They told me to go home early and that was the end of that.

And then I worked at a clothing store and I quite that job once I knew that the manager would give regular late paychecks and they weren't even standard govn't business paychecks and all the staff spoke Spanish so I got kinda worried about the place. I was afraid I would get in trouble working there if the police found out.

And that's about my working history. :D


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DW_a_mom
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09 Apr 2012, 9:50 pm

Ragtime wrote:
This thread is in case I have derailed the largest "feminism" thread into a related-but-narrow topic, so here is where we can continue the discussion about Christian marriage relationship dynamics/roles.

In our marriage, I lead, and my wife follows, and we're very happy and fulfilled in this lifestyle. Despite the extreme breadth of different lifestyles on WP, and the open-mindedness thereto, my marriage dynamic and my wife and my being happy in it is extremely confusing to several WP members. Perhaps I can help that confusion, or perhaps you "just have to be there" to understand how it works.


I don't find it confusing. I understand why you choose it, I would just disagree that it is a necessary part of being Christian.

I read your thread title and thought there would a discussion about how Christianity affects a marriage, or how a marriage can enhance or challenge faith. I wasn't really thinking you were going to announce that this was an opportunity for us to ask you about your marriage.

All marriages - even Christian ones - find their own unique balance, that meets the unique needs of the parties involved. We all write our own contracts, in a way. I am glad you, as a couple, have a relationship that you both feel good about and that you feel works for you.

My marriage is different than yours. But it is still Christian.


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DW_a_mom
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09 Apr 2012, 9:53 pm

Mirror wrote:
Gonna work part time hopefully in a few days! :D Just waiting for my background check info! I never worked full time before, even before I married Ragtime. Sadly, When I almost got to full time on both jobs they went into bankruptcy because of the economy.


It sounds like you are excited about the opportunity so I hope it works out for you. Best of luck!


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Mirror
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10 Apr 2012, 12:20 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Mirror wrote:
Gonna work part time hopefully in a few days! :D Just waiting for my background check info! I never worked full time before, even before I married Ragtime. Sadly, When I almost got to full time on both jobs they went into bankruptcy because of the economy.


It sounds like you are excited about the opportunity so I hope it works out for you. Best of luck!


Thanks! :thumright:


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Weiss_Yohji
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10 Apr 2012, 1:04 pm

The husband leading and the wife following? What is this, the '50s?

Get with the times and ditch that sexist, backward dynamic!



Alexender
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10 Apr 2012, 1:09 pm

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
The husband leading and the wife following? What is this, the '50s?

Get with the times and ditch that sexist, backward dynamic!


Hey he is just going by the bible, which says women are weaker, which is generally true. I can lift more than most girls my age.


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Vigilans
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10 Apr 2012, 1:13 pm

Alexender wrote:
Weiss_Yohji wrote:
The husband leading and the wife following? What is this, the '50s?

Get with the times and ditch that sexist, backward dynamic!


Hey he is just going by the bible, which says women are weaker, which is generally true. I can lift more than most girls my age.


Society should be stratified according to bench press capability :P


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10 Apr 2012, 1:16 pm

ehh I dunno. I am fairly weak compared to how I used to be. I would rather have it go by pull-ups. Haven't heard of people getting a hernia from pull-ups so it is also safer.

(The governator!! !)
Colbert lost in a push up contest to an 80 year old. I have to say I hope I look like that when I am 80


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10 Apr 2012, 1:18 pm

Alexender wrote:
ehh I dunno. I am fairly weak compared to how I used to be. I would rather have it go by pull-ups. Haven't heard of people getting a hernia from pull-ups so it is also safer.

(The governator!! !)


Pull ups are good. I am forbidden from bench press by my cardiologist so I guess that disqualifies me from the new society :P


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1000Knives
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10 Apr 2012, 1:51 pm

Vigilans wrote:
Alexender wrote:
Weiss_Yohji wrote:
The husband leading and the wife following? What is this, the '50s?

Get with the times and ditch that sexist, backward dynamic!


Hey he is just going by the bible, which says women are weaker, which is generally true. I can lift more than most girls my age.


Society should be stratified according to bench press capability :P


Nah deadlifts are the best measure of strength. What's more practical than picking up heavy stuff off the ground?



Ragtime
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10 Apr 2012, 2:16 pm

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
The husband leading and the wife following? What is this, the '50s?

Get with the times and ditch that sexist, backward dynamic!


Get with the times and stop judging.


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