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Silva20contraorder
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05 Apr 2012, 3:36 pm

Simple. I really feel like not only am I the one that puts all the work or at least 90% of the work into my relationships be it friendships or aquaintances but also like im constantly being ignored. For example:

On fb,msn and such instant messengers the moment I start a conversation with someone they instantly go offline, maybe once or twice it could just be bad timing on my part but its everytime or at least happens far too often.

I go to my martial arts classes and try hard to be sociable as its nice to well talk to people and just be part of the conversations and be be part of a group where you have at least one common ground yet just like at School somehow I always end up after 3-4 minutes of trying somewhere by myself in the roomand they form thier circle of conversation between themselves.

I ring people to invite them out for a run or a meal and by people I mean the only friend I have and she says she will ring me back later only for me to hear nothing.

Worst part is I do consider myself an interesting person (not to sound too conceited) as I do try to provide and keep any conversation above "Hi..wuu2" level so I guess im just ranting more than anything..so ye thanks for reading!


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muslimmetalhead
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05 Apr 2012, 4:39 pm

Silva20contraorder wrote:
Simple. I really feel like not only am I the one that puts all the work or at least 90% of the work into my relationships be it friendships or aquaintances but also like im constantly being ignored. For example:

On fb,msn and such instant messengers the moment I start a conversation with someone they instantly go offline, maybe once or twice it could just be bad timing on my part but its everytime or at least happens far too often.

I go to my martial arts classes and try hard to be sociable as its nice to well talk to people and just be part of the conversations and be be part of a group where you have at least one common ground yet just like at School somehow I always end up after 3-4 minutes of trying somewhere by myself in the roomand they form thier circle of conversation between themselves.

I ring people to invite them out for a run or a meal and by people I mean the only friend I have and she says she will ring me back later only for me to hear nothing.

Worst part is I do consider myself an interesting person (not to sound too conceited) as I do try to provide and keep any conversation above "Hi..wuu2" level so I guess im just ranting more than anything..so ye thanks for reading!



You're annoying people. Just chill out and calm down. If it feels weird, don't do it.


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questor
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05 Apr 2012, 5:50 pm

I agree with the other poster. You are doing something to annoy people, but are clueless about it. Ask a friend or relative just what it is you do that is turning people off.

I have an ignoring story for you. When I was a young adult, I occasionally went to a big neighboring town to shop. The Woolworth's store there had a diner counter inside, so people could buy meals there. I ate there a few times, as I liked some of the food, and the prices were reasonable. On one lunch stop there, though, I ran into a problem. Most of the seats were empty, but after I sat down the two ladies running the counter just ignored me and ignored me. They talked for a long time to the few other diners. They would actually pass me to get something or serve someone at the other end of the counter. This went on for a looooong time. Because of my Aspie shyness I put up with it for a looooong time, also I didn't have any rush to go anywhere, but I did get frustrated, as I had tried repeatedly to get the servers attention. I finally had to be more outspoken than was normal for me, to get some service. I do think it was a learning experience for me, though. Sometimes you do have to be more assertive and outspoken.


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Joe90
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06 Apr 2012, 5:06 am

I get ignored when I'm with my mum. Nearly every person who passes her in a quiet street always says hello to her, even if she doesn't know them, but they never attempt to look at me and smile or say hello, whether I'm with my mum or not, and I feel completely invisible. But I know it's because I don't look at strangers at all and so I suppose it says an unfriendly impression, and so they only go out of their way to be friendly to people who are also going out of their way to be friendly.

But I don't get it because my mum has an anxiety disorder and is very stressed inside, and she often says, ''I don't look at anyone in the street, I hate people'', but that's a lie because she must be looking at them if they say hello to her all the time.

But I feel I don't have the courage to look at people and smile or speak, if I don't know them. Because of my social phobia, I get afraid that if I speak they might not speak back and then I feel silly, although I shouldn't because it'd just be them who's being unfriendly and miserable, but even so, I still like my effort of social interaction to go well in order to make myself feel good inside. I have actually smiled to someone passing, but she just glared at me as though I was doing something stupid.


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Muzey
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07 Apr 2012, 11:56 pm

I do feel like I have to repeat myself a few times cause I feel no one can hear me. Not so much invisible but silent. Whether its because they cant actually hear me or they didn't understand what I said.. it still feels the same. Happens all the time.



namaste
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08 Apr 2012, 3:40 am

Silva20contraorder wrote:
Simple. I really feel like not only am I the one that puts all the work or at least 90% of the work into my relationships be it friendships or aquaintances but also like im constantly being ignored. For example:

On fb,msn and such instant messengers the moment I start a conversation with someone they instantly go offline, maybe once or twice it could just be bad timing on my part but its everytime or at least happens far too often.

I go to my martial arts classes and try hard to be sociable as its nice to well talk to people and just be part of the conversations and be be part of a group where you have at least one common ground yet just like at School somehow I always end up after 3-4 minutes of trying somewhere by myself in the roomand they form thier circle of conversation between themselves.

I ring people to invite them out for a run or a meal and by people I mean the only friend I have and she says she will ring me back later only for me to hear nothing.

Worst part is I do consider myself an interesting person (not to sound too conceited) as I do try to provide and keep any conversation above "Hi..wuu2" level so I guess im just ranting more than anything..so ye thanks for reading!

usually people avoid those who they find boring and dull
many people avoid me because i dont have the enthusiasm, energy and spicy news
i lack lustre and chatting with me can be boring since i dont know what to speak etc
also in classes i notice people end up talking more then me and i am ignored
i stopped ringing up people inviting them they wont come since they find me extremely boring and i dont have anything much to talk
with them


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Aspertastic424
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10 Apr 2012, 12:57 am

Probably the people you talk to on facebook arent actually your friends, and dont know you too well. They may feel your bothering them adn just go offline. Do you find when you talk to people, you end up talking excessivly, and them not talking back. Like little give and take?

That is a thing with aspergers, sometimes we give monologues when we should listen a little bit. I know its hard. hope this helps!



Aspertastic424
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10 Apr 2012, 12:58 am

Probably the people you talk to on facebook arent actually your friends, and dont know you too well. They may feel your bothering them adn just go offline. Do you find when you talk to people, you end up talking excessivly, and them not talking back. Like little give and take?

That is a thing with aspergers, sometimes we give monologues when we should listen a little bit. I know its hard. hope this helps!