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Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 5:16 am

i see what you mean, i can try, Thanks for all your help, i wish i lived near you know :P i guess there is no rush to join a dating site.



r_mc
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08 Mar 2007, 6:01 am

Thanks, you seem to be a very nice guy- I wish I was 18 or thereabouts (am 24) and uninfatuated :(



Hazelwudi
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08 Mar 2007, 6:17 am

r_mc wrote:
Hazelwudi wrote:
I don't mean to sound snide, but stop running after self-destructive flakes who don't know what they want and this won't happen.


Who knows exactly what they want when they're 18?


I did. *shrugs*



r_mc
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08 Mar 2007, 6:26 am

Hazelwudi wrote:
r_mc wrote:
Hazelwudi wrote:
I don't mean to sound snide, but stop running after self-destructive flakes who don't know what they want and this won't happen.


Who knows exactly what they want when they're 18?


I did. *shrugs*


You were very lucky.



ZanneMarie
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08 Mar 2007, 7:14 am

I knew what I wanted at 18. I didn't want kids. I thought marriage was a stupid and useless manmade construct. I wanted to write. I wanted to live in Europe. I wanted to go on to college. I did all of those things. I never did have kids, but I did marry my husband because he seems to think the stupid social construct is so important. <shrugs>


One thing I will say is that you seem to be the sounding board too much at your age, Topher. Ask girls out and do it sooner. Most guys don't wait very long after they meet a girl to ask her out. You are relegating yourself to friend category and at your age, boys are friends and boyfriends. That will change later, but not until your mid to late twenties. That doesn't mean to disrespect the girls, but there is nothing wrong with asking them out sooner.

Personally, I think third base girl will be back, but she might hurt you even more. It just depends. She's going through a phase. Most girls do. It has nothing to do with your attractiveness or the fact that you are Aspie.



Last edited by ZanneMarie on 08 Mar 2007, 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 10:08 am

Well i've never had a problem asking girls out, the problem is none of them actually take me up on that offer, and im not sure who i can ask now, mosy of the girls in my school i don't know too well, so im nto sure where i can start to look.



ZanneMarie
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08 Mar 2007, 10:24 am

How long do you wait Topher? The reason I ask, and I know it's hard to get a real picture in this format, is that guy typically talk to a girl once or twice for a pretty brief time and then ask them out. It seemed from what you were saying that you talked to them for quite awhile before asking them. If I misread that, which let's face it is pretty easy on here, then my error and you can just ignore it.



Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 10:44 am

It does vary, mostly i will talk to the girl once or twice then ask them out, sadly they usually say yes, but then i can't get them to come out :(



Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 10:49 am

r_mc wrote:
Thanks, you seem to be a very nice guy- I wish I was 18 or thereabouts (am 24) and uninfatuated :(


Well the age gap is not too bad :), but if your taken, i would never get in the way of love. As it's not fair on the other person.



r_mc
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08 Mar 2007, 11:58 am

Worse than being single or taken, hopelessly infatuated with someone who to likes having me as a friend but doesn't seem to want anything else. I don't know how to break out of this, and from past experience I know it can take years for it to break down of its own accord. This sucks :cry:



Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 12:04 pm

I know how you feel, since it's the same from my point of view :(, listen, im here and im willing to lend you a hand, and seeing as you have helped me so much :)



ZanneMarie
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08 Mar 2007, 1:48 pm

Topher that sucks. I wish I knew what to tell you. I had to have an ex-boyfriend find my husband for me. I was useless with it. I guess I'm not much help. :cry:



Topher
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08 Mar 2007, 3:33 pm

Well if you know a girl from England at 18 or higher who needs a caring man im free :)



r_mc
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09 Mar 2007, 4:22 am

Topher wrote:
I know how you feel, since it's the same from my point of view :(, listen, im here and im willing to lend you a hand, and seeing as you have helped me so much :)


Thanks, that means a lot to me. I don't know if there's anything you or anyone else could do, though, I'm at a loss.



Topher
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09 Mar 2007, 6:38 am

r_mc wrote:
Topher wrote:
I know how you feel, since it's the same from my point of view :(, listen, im here and im willing to lend you a hand, and seeing as you have helped me so much :)


Thanks, that means a lot to me. I don't know if there's anything you or anyone else could do, though, I'm at a loss.


Well the least i can do is offer you a shoulder to cry into, as it seems our situations are similar, just reversed. you have been nothing but a light and a blessing to me, im not sure how i can help except be at least a friend and someone whom you can talk to and be listened to by, i Pmed you my msn addy, so feel free to add me. :) <hugs> i need a friend like you who i can talk to anyway. :(