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ChrisP
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 17 Jul 2011
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 271
Location: La France profonde

26 Apr 2012, 6:50 am

Wonderful news!

In our family we label this type 'Emotional Vampires' - they land on you, suck you dry, leave you feeling like sh*t, then go and do it to someone else. Lots of blood sucking insects inject anti-coagulant into you in order to keep your blood flowing until they've finished their meal. Think of the stuff this guy is saying to you as like a mosquito trying to keep you bleeding. Negotiation isn't effective in that situation - a fly-swat is what does the job, though sometimes you need to use it several times in order to be sure yu aren't going to get bitten again!

Stay strong, and don't let him pull you down!



mv
Veteran
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Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

26 Apr 2012, 7:42 am

mellisamouse wrote:
I asked him to leave the other day, and he is finally gone.... the hard part is not letting him come back, because somehow he keeps making me think there is something wrong with me, I am a prude and no one else would be with someone who dosen't like P_ _____phy....

Like every guy does it etc.... I can understand if you are single, or if it dosen't bother your girl, but when I have made it clear to such an extent, I feel violated he tries to make me feel like a bad person for wanting a relationship with someone who won't do that...

He tells me any guy that says they don't do it are lying and no one else will take me knowing that so, I might as well stay with him etc....

I KNOW this is untrue, but the way he does it really makes me feel no hope of meeting someone ever again... it is only the first few days so I am trying my best to keep talking about it so I stay strong and don't let him back.... :?


Right there (bold) is your answer. This is a sh***y person, regardless of whether his particular disrespect is pornography or drugs or whatever. Total douchebag. You're WELL shut of him.

A true man will respect your feelings and, if he continues to use pornography, will do so in a way as not to expose you to it. Most men have an innate sense of privacy, regardless.



mellisamouse
Sea Gull
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Joined: 26 Dec 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 212

26 Apr 2012, 12:36 pm

Wow, what an eye opener..... feels like I have been holding my breath for the last year, and finally can breath again....

Amaizing how when you get so isolated, the way a person can take total control of your mind... :?

Thank you guys so much for telling me what I would probly say as an outsider at one time.

My mind got so wraped into him telling me how inadequite I was, and trying to be a "better" person, I lost all sight of someone accepting me "as I am"....

Yesterday I was almost letting him talk me back into giving him another, (500000 now) chance....

I should have stuck to my actions speak louder than words atitude I had back when I was strong.... when we first met.

I gotta keep focused on reality now to not let this happen again.

THANK YOU! :oops: