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Kiseki
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28 Apr 2012, 8:54 am

I have always been wired this way. I either do something 200% or I don't do it all. If I'm going to start a project I make sure that I can be completely invested in it or I just never start. If I go off my healthy diet for the day I eat crap for the rest of the day until I can start over.

Is this an Aspie trait or are most people like this?


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questor
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28 Apr 2012, 10:58 am

Both perfectionism and OCD can be comorbid with spectrum disorders. And in the case of perfectionism, it's not uncommon to dump a task or not even take it on, if you feel you can't do a perfect 100% or more type of job on it.

You need to remember that nothing and no one is perfect, and then let go of the idea that absolute perfection is absolutely necessary. It's not, and the world will not come to an end when something comes out less than 100% perfect. Just do your normal best, but don't stress yourself out by trying for the impossible. And don't reject tasks just because you feel you can't do an impossible to attain, absolutely perfect job of it.

Chill! :D


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Kiseki
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28 Apr 2012, 11:30 am

questor wrote:
Both perfectionism and OCD can be comorbid with spectrum disorders. And in the case of perfectionism, it's not uncommon to dump a task or not even take it on, if you feel you can't do a perfect 100% or more type of job on it.

You need to remember that nothing and no one is perfect, and then let go of the idea that absolute perfection is absolutely necessary. It's not, and the world will not come to an end when something comes out less than 100% perfect. Just do your normal best, but don't stress yourself out by trying for the impossible. And don't reject tasks just because you feel you can't do an impossible to attain, absolutely perfect job of it.

Chill! :D


Thanks for the advice! Of course I logically know this. yet my brain is hard-wired to be very OCD :( I also feel like I only have the ability to focus completely on one major task at a time, which is one of my main problems in starting things. I don't like to leave things undone.


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You are very likely an Aspie


Looneytunes
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28 Apr 2012, 3:29 pm

I don't know that I understand the question.

Because I am more worldly then most people - I use examples out of my own life as examples of what I am feeling or what I am doing.

With me - I don't ask anyone else to do something that I wouldn't do myself if I could.
And when I ask someone to do something, I expect them to do it as good as or better then how I did it.

Most people only does the bare minimum, they leave 5 minutes before church starts - even though it is a 10 minute ride.
They only mop a floor until it is cleaner then what it was before they started to mop and not until it is as clean as it can get.
They cut corners, do things half assed and try to make excuses when things don't turn out the way they should instead of just doing them the right way the first time.

So basically my answer is - if the people around me are not as devoted to doing the task as I am - I get frustrated and at times I just do it myself - because I know then that it was done right - or I will try to show the person what they are doing wrong and help them to learn how to do it the right way.

The problem is - people do not want to do things like that.
They want everything EASY. and they want everything HANDED TO THEM oN A SILVER PLATTER. And when it is not EASY they cry like babies and refuse to do it at all.

I have a AMATEUR EXTRA CLASS ham radio license.
It took me 6 WEEKS of studying 10 - 12 hours a day to get it.
65% of all the amateur radio licenses valid in the USA are only TECHNICIAN CLASS LICENSES. That is the entry level license - which is only good if you want to play walkie talkie with your friends on the FM repeater or talk Simplex like on the CB radio.

Another 20% holds a GENERAL CLASS LICENSE, that license is good for most privileges on most bands.
BUT - the purpose of AMATEUR radio isn't just to get a license and talk on the radio. BUT to help other people and to keep the hobby active and to promote amateur radio as a whole and to include new members into the hobby to keep it going.

AMATEUR RADIO is one of the only hobbies that I know of that allows its own members to give the examinations themselves to the new people so they can get a license if they are qualified to be a AMATEUR RADIO OPERATOR.

It would be like your friends giving you your driving test and written examination so you could get a drivers license or a commercial drivers license.

At the same time, only 15% of all licensed amateurs in the USA holds a AMATEUR EXTRA CLASS LICENSE.
This is the only license class that permits the qualified people to give all classes of examinations.

Now think about it, lets say you want to get a amateur radio operators license. 30 years ago - you had to drive, sometimes a hundred miles one way just to get the examination - pass or fail.
The FCC did not even publish the study material.
You had to know about electronics and theory and you had to know about radios and antennas and how wireless communications worked.

When the volunteer program came along, where actual amateur radio license holders could give the tests themselves, they saved hundreds of thousands of people the expense of having to travel to and from the examination point and they actually published the actual examination material.

All that is asked is that you study the material, learn the theory long enough to pass a 35 question amateur radio license exam and go someplace and take the test.
If you pass - you get a license.
Also - if you pass - you are welcome to take the next test to upgrade your license privileges.

In order to do this - 3 people - who are not related to you, has to be there to give you the exam. Those 3 people has to have a license of a class higher then the exam you are taking.
SO - if you want a AMATEUR EXTRA CLASS LICENSE, you have to have 3 volunteer examiners at the examination that holds a amateur extra class license.

Now in my county alone - there is about 90 people who holds a amateur radio license, but only 6 of them holds a AMATEUR EXTRA CLASS LICENSE. And out of those 6 people, only four of them are volunteer examiners.

That means if you want to get a license and you do not want to have to travel 50 miles to the next county to take the examination - those 3 people has to give up a portion of their life to go sit at your examination session and wait and see if you pass or fail. And they are not paid for being there!
And if you cannot get 3 qualified people from that county, you have to ask people from another county to travel to your county to give the examination.

Then when the person gets their license - they say - well I got what I want and I am not willing to become a volunteer examiner and I have no desire to become a AMATEUR EXTRA CLASS LICENSE HOLDER - BECAUSE WHATS IN IT FOR ME! I CAN ALREADY USE A PORTION OF ALL THE BANDS ALLOTTED AND THERE IS NO INCENTIVE TO GOING ALL THE WAY FOR THE LITTLE BIT OF BANDWIDTH THAT I AM GIVEN FOR PASSING A TEST THAT IS HARDER THEN THE FIRST TWO AND HAS 50 QUESTIONS AND MAKES ME THINK A LITTLE BIT HARDER AND ISN'T JUST SOMETHING THAT I CAN LEARN IN A COUPLE OF HOURS AND PASS.....

So eventually the day will come when there is no one to give the examination and when someone does want to get the examination they are going to have to either travel to a area where there are some real hams that does have a amateur extra class license and is willing to give up a portion of their life and will probably have to pay to get the examination......

It makes more sense to me to just pass the examination and give something back to the amateur radio community - by becoming a volunteer examiner and giving up some of my time so others can also benefit, but for most people - they are just out for themselves and they don't care what happens to the hobby once they die and there is no one left to carry on the tradition and all it stands for.

So I get disgusted with those people and in time I realize that I have progresses beyond them, and that they are not in the same league as I am and that they do not understand the same things that I do and they do not feel as passionate as I do about it and they are not as dedicated as I am.

Basically the only thing you can do then is wash your hands of all of them and move on and forget about them, they are beyond help and you cannot change them or the way they think.
ARE THEY WRONG? YES!
BUT DOES IT MATTER? PROBABLY NOT!

As you go through life you will find that as people wants things more and more simple and as more and as the intelligence level goes down, eventually there will be no one smart enough to fix my automobile or my computer or firearms and we will turn into a disposable society where when something breaks we just throw it away and buy a new one!



League_Girl
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28 Apr 2012, 3:46 pm

Ha I have an all or nothing attitude. If I am going to be criticized in what I am doing, I quit and tell them they do it then. If they don't like how I am doing it, they can do it. Also don't tell me I am a good mother and then criticize my parenting or the other way around. If I don't like the way things are, I want nothing to do with it. if I can't play a game I like, I want to play no games then with them.

I can't think of any other examples. My husband describes me as all or nothing. He also calls it me being literal and i don't understand what's being literal have to do with all this?