Hypnotism? Or brainwashing of some kind?

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Nora,

I knew that stuff before I was 10. You don't have to wait until the business world.
People like the one you mentioned have NO excuse. After all, a person with AS is BETTER able to tell what they can do than just some idiot off the street. The only reason that person is supposed to be there is because she has been there, or understands the limits/potential. And the goal is not to avoid the situation. THAT is easy. The goal is to try to attack it and succeed. I've never succeeded, but I never went away with more enemies than I came with.

BTW it is hard to determine what will work. Out of my jobs, about 70% went as I planned expected, WELL! About 28% went better, but were a surprise! I thought they would be worse than they were! about 2% were BLAZING successes, but the client was just some cheating idiot! The last type happens from time to time. They just wanted a free lunch, etc... So that isn't a bad record! I even made a few friends, etc... I did little to socialize though, and felt out of place there.

Steve

That sounds like a great record.

There are some Aspies who might not know stuff though, and I think that's what NT's are concerned about when they're talking to some random Aspie they don't know. When I was in social skills group, there were people who had never held a job, people who were having trouble on the job with social issues, and one person who, from what I had gathered, had some kind of harassment charges leveled at them falsely because an NT mistook their friendly behavior for sexual harassment. There were also a couple people who had been in jobs for years and were doing well. The doctor who ran the group felt it necessary to mention things like "the people who make sales calls are not your friends; they just want to sell something" because apparently some Aspie somewhere at one time must've not realized that and bought a lot of stuff from his "friend" who called, or something. I guess because they're dealing with such a wide range of people, they really feel like they have to cover every base.

Personally if I was going to go to an AS social skills group, I'd much rather go to one run by Aspies, because there wouldn't be all that condescension going on.

I was really, really shocked that that woman told me to avoid most social stuff at work even it it's a party at the boss's house, though of course I believed it at first because it reinforces my social anxiety and avoidant behavior! Even in the social skills group for Aspies I went to, the doctor didn't seem to advocate avoiding anything with just a hint of socializing at work.

OH, OK..... Yeah, I try to stay AWAY from things were I might be accused of sexual harassment, etc... I know my limits there a little TOO well. Still, how many adults wouldn't have learned that already? I learned that in school. I would daydream or something, and some self flattering person might think I was staring at them with whatever intent.

Steve

Hi NorahW

I am 30 with a late diagnosis of AS. Yeah I think I still go through something like what you mentioned. Even after the diagnosis I get ambivalent. Even though I scored 179 on the Aspie Quiz, have a confirmed diagnosis, and my Boyfriend says the articles about Asperger were written just for me (as I'm the only aspie-like person he knows.)

Mostly I just forget that I have AS. LOL!

I get the most uncertain about it when I have an ignorant health care professional tell me I don't have it cause I am not mentally ret*d. Then I get into a useless argument with them where I end up walking away without them believing me. Then I get nutty. Like I can't stick to the original information until I run home and start reading any of the books I got on AS just to make sure that I was right. Turns out I am right about things and then I want to run back to the person and show them from the book, but I don't.

Reading is not my favorite thing to do. Before 6 months ago, I never knew I had AS. I tried reading self esteem books. Ugh! I threw them down after the first few chapters. I had more questions than answers when I was done with a page. Frustrating! I got all kinds of anxiety hypnosis tapes. OK. They were good for the time being. But didn't help me overall. I have many unfinished self-help books. I even went as far as to buy a tape cassette with the title, "How to make people like you in 60 seconds or less!" I just found that one in my archive last week and almost rolled over laughing.

I went to CBT full time for 3 and a half months. I thought I understood it but I found that I really didn't cause I was using the "tools" they taught me in all the wrong places. What a mess!

The first article I read on AS was completely by accident. I had the feeling of "AHA!!" I couldn't stop reading. Everything I thought, felt, and MORE were in these pages. Things that I never told anyone because I never knew how were being explained so beautifully in the articles and books. I read an entire book in one day with no questions. Just a lot of highlighting with what I could relate to.

You have a great post on the differences between Aspie schools and CBT training!! !! !

Do you know of any Aspie schools in southern New York? I can't tell where you are from so I figured I would just ask.


Summer

Yes there is!

I just got my DX for AS recently.I still have mixed feelings about it.I assumed that going to a specialist would stop the internal debate but that has not happened.Although I had the initial,,AHA MOMENT, when I first read about AS,I still wonder if I am deluding myself.Psychology is FAR from an exact science and I have learned over a life time to doubt my own reality.I still have all the old internal messages from family and peers that I am just defective and it is my fault.I really dont know how to shake those and trust myself,it is an on going battle.

Long before reading about AS,I decided for myself that I was going to stop judging myself for not being like everyone else and let myself be me.That was more helpful then the actual DX.I stopped forcing myself to be social and a lot of my depression and anxiety went away.I was still lonely at times but still happier then when I forced myself to be more social.This went against all my previous counseling,but it is what worked best for me.

As far as the support group persons advice....for me that is good advice.I do not socialize with my co-workers....I dont like them.That is bound to come through as I cant fake things well.If I did like my co-workers and enjoyed their company,I would reconsider.I tend to make a better impression around people I actually respect and enjoy...how many are in that work environment?