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servicedogrights25
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29 May 2012, 2:45 pm

This girl that I know is telling me she is bipolar. My sister is bipolar, and I know what that looks like. This, however, is not it. She could be lying, but I am unsure. I think she feels somewhat left out because the two friends I have have mental disorders as well. Well, one only has a touch of anxiety and the other is truly bipolar. She also tells me she has Tourettes. When I asked her what her tic is, she told me she gets nervous twitches. Well, could those just be nervous twitches? I feel like justice is due for all of those who actually have it.



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29 May 2012, 3:37 pm

servicedogrights25 wrote:
This girl that I know is telling me she is bipolar. My sister is bipolar, and I know what that looks like. This, however, is not it. She could be lying, but I am unsure. I think she feels somewhat left out because the two friends I have have mental disorders as well. Well, one only has a touch of anxiety and the other is truly bipolar. She also tells me she has Tourettes. When I asked her what her tic is, she told me she gets nervous twitches. Well, could those just be nervous twitches? I feel like justice is due for all of those who actually have it.


Does she say she's been diagnosed with BP disorder, or just that she suspects she has it? Just wondering, how would you feel if someone said the same about your aspergers because you don't act like someone-they-know-with-aspergers? A lot of people here have to face questions like that, and it can be upsetting to have to deal with disbelief on top of social difficulties.

Bipolar can be classified in several different subtypes (type 1; classic manic-depressive, type 2; mainly depressive etc etc) so your friend may have a different subtype than your sister. Her 'mania' may present differently, and her medication may also have an effect on her symptoms. Everyone has their own personality and history too, which impacts a lot on how they act, just like anyone else.

Bottom line, I think you shouldn't armchair diagnose people based on one or two individuals you know. Even if you have your doubts, it's not fair to accuse her of lying.



servicedogrights25
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29 May 2012, 6:03 pm

I appreciate you taking the time to answer my post. I can see what you mean. I do not know what armchair diagnosis is, however :) but this sounds just about right to me. She didn't tell me she was diagnosed, but whenever my friend talks about being bipolar or me being an aspie, she basically jumps in and yells, "I'm BIPOLAR!" She does get depressed though, so that could be part of it. Thanks again.



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29 May 2012, 6:15 pm

servicedogrights25 wrote:
I appreciate you taking the time to answer my post. I can see what you mean. I do not know what armchair diagnosis is, however :) but this sounds just about right to me. She didn't tell me she was diagnosed, but whenever my friend talks about being bipolar or me being an aspie, she basically jumps in and yells, "I'm BIPOLAR!" She does get depressed though, so that could be part of it. Thanks again.


My best friend has it too and she has the the really severe type of it. Actually, i have two friends with it. I wouldn't say she is lying because like said above, she maybe taking meds for it or whatever. I know that the two friends I have with it, you barely see it because I talk to them online but they've told me about their experiences with having it.

I would try to talk to her and ask her about it. If she can't give you any information about how she thinks she has it then she's probably faking. But I wouldn't jump to conclusions because you'll feel like a fool if you were actually wrong, you know?


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29 May 2012, 8:57 pm

Bipolar disorder is characterized by normal behavior punctuated by episodes of extreme behavior. Because of this, it is usually not immediately noticeable (depending on how quickly you cycle).



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30 May 2012, 1:38 am

People act differently around different people. Maybe her bipolarity isn't as noticeble when she's around friends or something.

And chances are, you hang out with your sister a lot more than you hang out with this girl.



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30 May 2012, 5:15 am

I used to hear voices all day long and I hid it so well that nobody could tell. I even hid it from myself. I wouldn't assume she was lying.

I know someone who says she is bipolar and I often feel she is exaggerating. But when I get these thoughts, I just ask myself "what is the difference?" Why deny her reality? I will be blunt if I think it is about something that actually matters but otherwise I am not going to act as her personal psychologist. As long as she is not manipulating you with guilt and as long as you don't think she is taking meds that she doesn't need, I think you probably shouldn't worry about it so much.



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30 May 2012, 6:46 am

Well she could be lying or she could not be but it's really not your part to judge whether she is or isn't. Just be her friend and be supportive, that's all you can be.



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30 May 2012, 8:31 am

She could be mistaken rather than lying...


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02 Jun 2012, 9:09 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
She could be mistaken rather than lying...


That's true. OP, may I ask, how old are your friends? I remember reading your Introduction post and that you were taken out of the school you were going to, but I don't think you mentioned your age. It could very well be that she read some symptoms, thought of a few cases that might match, but they might have been just that -a few cases- , but she jumped to a conclusion. It's possible that she does have some sort of disorder. However, being a (kid? teenager?) she doesn't have access to the wealth of information that psychologists have. In other words, she might think she's bipolar because she only knows about bipolar and a handful of other disorders. In reality, however, she may have something with some overlapping symptoms that she's not even aware of.

For her own sake, you should recommend she get a clinical diagnosis. If she really thinks she has a problem but doesn't know for sure, it'd be better if she found out what was truly affecting her so that she can receive help.

Of course, don't push it. Just mention it. She may not have the means to get a diagnosis (like health insurance), or maybe she really does just want attention and doesn't expect to be diagnosed. If she is serious, then she will likely listen and ask her parents for help. But if she doesn't, don't dwell on it. As long as she doesn't try to marginalize or discount your, your sister's, or your other friends' conditions (for example, trying to push you to do something that she should know is difficult/impossible for you. Though if she was prone to doing that, I wouldn't consider her much of a friend anyway.)



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02 Jun 2012, 9:54 am

servicedogrights25 wrote:
This girl that I know is telling me she is bipolar. My sister is bipolar, and I know what that looks like. This, however, is not it. She could be lying, but I am unsure. I think she feels somewhat left out because the two friends I have have mental disorders as well. Well, one only has a touch of anxiety and the other is truly bipolar. She also tells me she has Tourettes. When I asked her what her tic is, she told me she gets nervous twitches. Well, could those just be nervous twitches? I feel like justice is due for all of those who actually have it.


What sort of "justice" do you think is "due"???? I have clinical depression and I don't care if someone else lies about having any type of disorder.

As for the girl you know, unless you are a trained professional you can't make the call. Sorry, but things manifest in different ways in different people. She could very well be lying and could be someone who feels like she needs to lie or change things to fit in, which is part of a different disorder, so there ya go.

Also, if she is lying then who is it hurting? How do you plan to exact this justice for those who actually have it? Have you considered going to medical school, becoming a psychiatrist and then tracking her down once you are in a practice, coercing her to come to see you at work, then either diagnosing her or telling her she doesn't have it, after reminding her of whatt she said all these years ago?

Cause that'll show her!


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11 Jun 2012, 1:06 pm

OliveOilMom, there is simply no need to be that way. I appreciate you responding to my post, but I have already acknowledged that there is the possibility I am wrong. Please take the time to review your attitude.
Everyone else, thank you. It is nice that there are others that can answer my...shall we say, questions. I will speak to her about this. CanisMajor, thank you for your in-depth response :P It was very thorough and helpful.



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11 Jun 2012, 1:35 pm

servicedogrights25 wrote:
OliveOilMom, there is simply no need to be that way. I appreciate you responding to my post, but I have already acknowledged that there is the possibility I am wrong. Please take the time to review your attitude.
Everyone else, thank you. It is nice that there are others that can answer my...shall we say, questions. I will speak to her about this. CanisMajor, thank you for your in-depth response :P It was very thorough and helpful.


My attitude is fine. I was trying to point out the ridiculousness of wanting "justice" because some girl told a lie about being bipolar. That's a whole lot of overkill.

If she was faking bipolar and collecting disability and food stamps and medicaid and public housing and such because she was faking it, then I could see getting angry and wanting justice, because that would be a situation where her lie about the disorder was hurting others with the disorder. Her taking all the government benefits for faking the illness would mean there was someone else out there with the actual illness who wasn't getting the benefits they needed, because they were being given to someone who was faking it.

But justice for someone telling a casual lie which doesn't hurt anything? There are actual important things to desire justice for, and thats not one of them.


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11 Jun 2012, 1:36 pm

Double post.


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servicedogrights25
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11 Jun 2012, 2:24 pm

How much older are you than I? Must you really do this here and now? Ma'am, I am fourteen- merely a child compared to you. I do appreciate that you took the time to make your point, however, I am not very satisfied with the way you manifested it.



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11 Jun 2012, 4:26 pm

servicedogrights25 wrote:
How much older are you than I? Must you really do this here and now? Ma'am, I am fourteen- merely a child compared to you. I do appreciate that you took the time to make your point, however, I am not very satisfied with the way you manifested it.


I'm 48 and I have 4 kids. My youngest is 15. I would honestly tell them what I told you if one of them, at 14 or even 12, started talking about wanting justice because they thought somebody was lying over something insignifigant.

As for me doing this here and now, honey I have no idea what you think I'm "doing". I'm simply answering you. I am not trying to be ugly to you, I am trying to explain the difference between something thats worth going to the mat over and something that isn't.

I'm not going to answer this thread anymore. I do hope you can sit down and give the situation you posted about some thought though. Not just about that one situation but about going over the top about other things like that. Blowing things out of proportion is not a good thing to do. You need perspective on things so that you will know what to do something about and what to just ignore. You are going to need that perspective later in life too, because you are going to run into a lot of stuff that bothers you and annoys you and makes you mad. Everybody does. If you treat everything that bothers you like it's a major problem, then not only are you going to create a whole lot of stress in your own life, but people aren't going to take you seriously at all about things and one day that could cause problems, especially if it's finally a serious matter.

Since you are 14 maybe you could talk to your parents about perspective and keeping things in proportion? Do you have someone older or with more experience with this than you do who you could talk to about it? I'm guessing that this post about the girl lying isn't the first time you have seen something as a bigger deal than it is. You may have already had people say something to you directly about it, or you may have had consequences from it. If not, and this happens a lot, you eventually will. If you do this fairly often, then the people who know you, also know that you do this. They may very well welcome the chance to help you learn not to do it, and to learn which things matter and which don't.

Granted, everyone has their own idea of what matters and what doesn't. A botanist may feel that a corporation that is paving some land they bought that has some fairly rare plants growing on it to be very important, but somebody else won't. Someone with an interest in a particular field may find something extremely important where 99% of the rest of us could care less. That is not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is perspective.

I did think you were probably in your late teens or early 20's but that doesn't matter either way. It's actually good that you are young because learning something like this when you are younger is much easier and better. When I was your age I was learning to actually socialize, speak to people, how not to blow things out of proportion, how to stop acting so wierd, etc. I'm not saying all that applies to you, but it sure did to me. If I hadn't met the few girls I met in high school who liked me in spite of my complete and utter strangeness and propensity to get on everyone around me's nerves immediately and stay on their nerves the entire time I was around them, then I doubt I would have ever been able to change when I was older.

I really don't know how to tell you to learn perspective, because it's a hard thing to learn sometimes. Sometimes something ridiculous will make me so mad that I want to do something about it right then, call attention to it, and have everybody around me see and know what the person did. I still get that way. Thats probably how you feel about that girl. The thing is, we can't go through life doing that. We have to pick our battles. I'm sure you have heard that a lot, most kids have. The reason we have to pick our battles is because if we fight to correct and make right, everything that is slightly wrong or that bothers us, nobody is going to listen to us. It's like the hypochondriac who thinks she has everything wrong with her for years and years, and is always complaining of some symptom or other and worrying about her health. People get used to hearing her do it and they don't pay attention. When she finds that lump in her armpit, nobody cares because it's just more of her ranting. Nobody takes her seriously until she gets home from the biopsy and tells them it's cancer.

So, I hope you can think about some of what I said, and maybe even ask people close to you if they think you blow things out of proportion a lot. If people do that, then try talking to your parents or a teacher or school counselor or a friends parent etc, to see if they can help you, or find someone to help you, learn not to do it.

Trust me, your stress levels and blood pressure will thank you when you are my age.


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