I think she's lying ...

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I'm 48 and I have 4 kids. My youngest is 15. I would honestly tell them what I told you if one of them, at 14 or even 12, started talking about wanting justice because they thought somebody was lying over something insignifigant.

As for me doing this here and now, honey I have no idea what you think I'm "doing". I'm simply answering you. I am not trying to be ugly to you, I am trying to explain the difference between something thats worth going to the mat over and something that isn't.

I'm not going to answer this thread anymore. I do hope you can sit down and give the situation you posted about some thought though. Not just about that one situation but about going over the top about other things like that. Blowing things out of proportion is not a good thing to do. You need perspective on things so that you will know what to do something about and what to just ignore. You are going to need that perspective later in life too, because you are going to run into a lot of stuff that bothers you and annoys you and makes you mad. Everybody does. If you treat everything that bothers you like it's a major problem, then not only are you going to create a whole lot of stress in your own life, but people aren't going to take you seriously at all about things and one day that could cause problems, especially if it's finally a serious matter.

Since you are 14 maybe you could talk to your parents about perspective and keeping things in proportion? Do you have someone older or with more experience with this than you do who you could talk to about it? I'm guessing that this post about the girl lying isn't the first time you have seen something as a bigger deal than it is. You may have already had people say something to you directly about it, or you may have had consequences from it. If not, and this happens a lot, you eventually will. If you do this fairly often, then the people who know you, also know that you do this. They may very well welcome the chance to help you learn not to do it, and to learn which things matter and which don't.

Granted, everyone has their own idea of what matters and what doesn't. A botanist may feel that a corporation that is paving some land they bought that has some fairly rare plants growing on it to be very important, but somebody else won't. Someone with an interest in a particular field may find something extremely important where 99% of the rest of us could care less. That is not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is perspective.

I did think you were probably in your late teens or early 20's but that doesn't matter either way. It's actually good that you are young because learning something like this when you are younger is much easier and better. When I was your age I was learning to actually socialize, speak to people, how not to blow things out of proportion, how to stop acting so wierd, etc. I'm not saying all that applies to you, but it sure did to me. If I hadn't met the few girls I met in high school who liked me in spite of my complete and utter strangeness and propensity to get on everyone around me's nerves immediately and stay on their nerves the entire time I was around them, then I doubt I would have ever been able to change when I was older.

I really don't know how to tell you to learn perspective, because it's a hard thing to learn sometimes. Sometimes something ridiculous will make me so mad that I want to do something about it right then, call attention to it, and have everybody around me see and know what the person did. I still get that way. Thats probably how you feel about that girl. The thing is, we can't go through life doing that. We have to pick our battles. I'm sure you have heard that a lot, most kids have. The reason we have to pick our battles is because if we fight to correct and make right, everything that is slightly wrong or that bothers us, nobody is going to listen to us. It's like the hypochondriac who thinks she has everything wrong with her for years and years, and is always complaining of some symptom or other and worrying about her health. People get used to hearing her do it and they don't pay attention. When she finds that lump in her armpit, nobody cares because it's just more of her ranting. Nobody takes her seriously until she gets home from the biopsy and tells them it's cancer.

So, I hope you can think about some of what I said, and maybe even ask people close to you if they think you blow things out of proportion a lot. If people do that, then try talking to your parents or a teacher or school counselor or a friends parent etc, to see if they can help you, or find someone to help you, learn not to do it.

Trust me, your stress levels and blood pressure will thank you when you are my age.