Any NT/Asperger success stories?

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waitykatie
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31 May 2012, 10:41 pm

Ember_Of wrote:
waitykatie: Same here. September-October or something, probably, that is. With my girlfriend. She's really overwhelmed right now and working on a lot in her life currently, and has needed to "time out" us for a bit to prevent a major crash, and, as she also said, in order not to take the stress out on me.

By the way, what does "PITA" mean? -Ohhh...pain in the a_ _ ? *laughs* I think I got it.

Correct! :lol: I mean that in a loving way, of course.

His divorce lasted 2 1/2 years. Finalized 6 months ago. Any NT would have moved on loooong ago, but he's still feeling unsettled, and guilty over feeling like a bad parent. He also has some pretty paranoid, unreasonable trust issues, but I think a lot of that is from his alcoholic ex-wife's maltreatment. Who he still has to deal with, because they have kids in school, who stay with him every other weekend. I get it, but it doesn't make it any less painful, as our lives seem to be slipping away, day after day after day.

Coping with the long blackouts is the hardest part. I have a busy job, but I'm otherwise fairly isolated. May I ask, what are you doing with yourself while you wait? What is your frame of mind? How do you keep yourself energized, positive, hopeful? What gives you faith? What do you do in low moments, on bad days, when you're feeling depressed or hopeless or lonely?



Ember_Of
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31 May 2012, 10:47 pm

waitykatie wrote:
May I ask, what are you doing with yourself while you wait? What is your frame of mind? How do you keep yourself energized, positive, hopeful? What gives you faith? What do you do in low moments, on bad days, when you're feeling depressed or hopeless or lonely?


This'll go real long. :lol:

So I'll PM you. :wink:


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Your Aspie score: 103 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 94 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

dx'd: A.D.D.


Joker
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31 May 2012, 10:51 pm

Yes girl I am currenlty talking to relates to me on a lot of levels. And she is a NT we go to the same church have so much in common. We have been friends for a while. But I am hopeing to become more then just friends.



SluvsK
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31 May 2012, 10:53 pm

Joker wrote:
Yes girl I am currenlty talking to relates to me on a lot of levels. And she is a NT we go to the same church have so much in common. We have been friends for a while. But I am hopeing to become more then just friends.


Good luck! :) Hope it works out for you!

Ember Of, I'm going to PM you as well but I'm exhausted right now! So I'll jump on here tomorrow. :) Thanks again.



IlovemyAspie
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01 Jun 2012, 1:49 am

Joker wrote:
Yes girl I am currenlty talking to relates to me on a lot of levels. And she is a NT we go to the same church have so much in common. We have been friends for a while. But I am hopeing to become more then just friends.


Super happy for you!! ! :D



Blownmind
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01 Jun 2012, 2:00 am

SluvsK wrote:
I guess I'm just hoping there are some NT/Asperger love stories - with happy endings!! - that I could read or you guys could tell me your own experiences, to make myself feel a little better. I'm just struggling with him a little bit today. I'm sure he will text me or call me tonight, tomorrow, some time, and I'll melt like a lovesick fool and perk up immediately but right now I'm just kind of.... well, as I said, confused and down in the dumps.

"The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband" by David Finch
This book as been of great help to my wife. I have Asperger's so I bought it as a means to become a better husband, but it turned out it was just as much help for her. She understands me alot better now when she has read the struggles of an Aspie husband.


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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200


League_Girl
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01 Jun 2012, 2:37 am

I am married to an ND* person for nearly three years and have been together for nearly five years. He understands me mostly and accepts everything about me. I do annoy him and drive him crazy with my aspie traits so he keeps himself shut in our bedroom but for other reasons too because it's where he takes his medicine. He knows I care about him and he doesn't need gifts to be happy and I do do stuff for him he asks me too like bring his dirty dishes to the kitchen or make him his pizza or sandwich or hand him a glass of water. He has bad feet so he can't do it always so he has me do it for him. He also takes care of me and handles almost everything and it keeps stress off me. He also helps me with social skills and he doesn't take anything I say personally and if he thinks I said something that was too hurtful, he makes a joke about it. He is a very laid back flexible guy so he puts up with me. I stay out of his hair because he needs to be alone due to the pain he is in and I don't want to drive him crazy with my obsession and I don't mind being alone and I can keep myself entertained with my interests. Neither of us are very social so we are never around other people except his family or his old boss's family his parents are friends with. While I like going to gatherings like to aspie parties or aspie gatherings, he never likes to come because he does not enjoy them so I don't make him go. I wouldn't want to be forced to do things I don't want to do so I don't make him. I am able to go to places alone and have no problem with it. I think with his qualities and mine, it makes things between us work out and we are both happy.

*someone who also has a neurological disorder but is not autistic. My husband has a seizure disorder and three different learning disabilities and he also has brain damage caused before he was born due to his mother being sick.


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Last edited by League_Girl on 01 Jun 2012, 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SluvsK
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01 Jun 2012, 10:17 pm

Thank you for sharing your story, League Girl! :)

Blownmind wrote:
SluvsK wrote:
I guess I'm just hoping there are some NT/Asperger love stories - with happy endings!! - that I could read or you guys could tell me your own experiences, to make myself feel a little better. I'm just struggling with him a little bit today. I'm sure he will text me or call me tonight, tomorrow, some time, and I'll melt like a lovesick fool and perk up immediately but right now I'm just kind of.... well, as I said, confused and down in the dumps.

"The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband" by David Finch
This book as been of great help to my wife. I have Asperger's so I bought it as a means to become a better husband, but it turned out it was just as much help for her. She understands me alot better now when she has read the struggles of an Aspie husband.


Thanks so much - I will definitely check this one out.


I do have some good news to report! :D

It seems that things are back on track. He wants to see me on Sunday, and he even asked me to go with him to his adult Aspergers/Autism meetup group. He told me that he wants me there with him. He really made my heart melt! We are going back to his house after that to watch a movie, most likely. We still need to talk about things a little more but I'm very happy right now. I can tell that he is really trying hard because he wants this to work - I have to let him know that I see it and appreciate it somehow. Maybe I will go buy him a little gift before I come visit him.



beausiebunny
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21 Oct 2015, 4:56 am

I am a NT partner for an AS man, we've been together almost 4 years now and are going to be married next October. I must confess, when I first started doing research on AS, I was saddened. Everything I read was so negative about relationships that were NT/AS. But in a way, it helped me see something in my own relationship. Our sex life is great, we have desire for each other. He is very touchy-feely, even more so than I am! He loves to hold me, and kiss me, and stroke my face, and he tells me he loves me at least 5-10 times a day. He has trouble communicating with me from time to time, but nothing major. We almost never fight, and when we do, it's about silly things like who was supposed to do dishes or what pizza topping to get. We come to our senses and realize that neither one of us is perfect. Now, I say I am NT, but does that exclude mental illness? I have OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, and PTSD from being abused as a child, and then being raped years later. He literally was the best choice for me. At first, I had no desire for sex, or intimacy. He did, but he was patient, and kind, and giving, and after 3 and a half years I can now say I enjoy sex. I even initiate it from time to time. We had a discussion tonight about me being lonely, but after reading, I've realized that I am isolating myself. He's offered to take me on dates, to go visit family and friends, and I turn him down. What does that say for me, if he's socially anxious, but I'M the one who avoids all social situations? I just don't know. But I do know I love him, and that's not gonna change. :heart: