Sometimes things do have to be black and white

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My husband just told me to never wake him up again because he only got one hour of sleep and then I woke him up and he couldn't get back to sleep. He did tell me if anything is ever bothering me, wake him up so I did that. Now this time it was so wrong for me to do it so I told him "it has to be black and white, either I wake him up or I don't. I'm sorry." Then he tells me I can wake him up but not when he is in so much pain and I told him how am I going to know when he is in pain, I can't read his mind. Then he said don't wake him up until his back is fixed. So I said "okay so that means as long as you are not working, don't wake you up."

Of course there still be the gray, if the apartment is on fire, I will definitely wake him up. So not quite black and white or else I would have to let him die in the fire because he doesn't want to be woken up. I would be charged with manslaughter or murder for being black and white. But it is very unlikely there is going to be a fire here since house fires are rare or else lot of them would be burned to the ground and there hardly be any old houses.

Sometimes it's easier to be black and white about something to avoid trouble and confusion.

Most of us can't read people's outward signals, so we certainly can't read what they're thinking. I ask my wife sometimes, after I've unknowingly done something to offend her, "What's wrong?" and she'll answer, "What do you think?!" My answer: "I DON'T KNOW! THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING!" Damned NTs!

That is stressful! The rules need to be very well explained. It is like my dad's idea of where my car ought to be parked. It varies based on the weather and the seasons and precipitation and whether birds are going to poop on it or not. It is very frustrating to me because some of those things are hard to predict! I will park it in the correct place if I know which is the correct place, but then in winter I got all used to parking it at the side, and now that is under a tree where a bird poops.

I hope you are able to get a clearer idea of the rules for a cooperative solution in your situation.

I have problems like that with my BF on things, like when I say something slightly past what he finds "comfortable" and I ask "wait, did that make you uncomfortable? If so, which part, so I know not to do/say it again?"

It's tough, not knowing. I wish there was a way to get someone to write/explain everything, like what is and is not a good reason to wake you, what does and does not make you uncomfortable when talking, etc. (I've learned the BF doesn't like when I mention that other guys find me attractive (relevant to whatever is being discussed, of course), even though he knows I'd never act on it because I'm very much a one-person-girl, which makes very little sense to me; I wouldn't mind if he told me about girls wanting to sleep with him, I'd be like "well, too bad for them!")