Autistic extroversion vs. introversion

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Sora
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28 Nov 2006, 4:56 am

Is it true that autistic people are better off if they act/are introverted?

Usually, with so called NTs, it's the other way round, but being an extroverted Aspie seems to be a worst case scenario.
I consider myself extroverted, but as I am very quickly overstrained by too much stimuli at once, I'm often passive in bigger, louder scenarios. My friend told me she's utterly confused of this difference in my behaviour depending on where we are/what is going on and doesn't know how to handle that. Like, for example, that I'm not shy to speak to a stranger and that I am a chatter box with one or two friends present, but that I'm quiet and impassive when we meet with twenty or more friends.

Extroverted people usually seem to like small talk, wish to have a say in many things, aren't acting reserved and quiet, like to be in the middle of a social situation, enjoy meeting with friends and strangers alike and are very chatty. At least this seems to be a common opinion and some of these qualities clash with aspie-ness. Especially if you are a chatter box like me and usually pick the wrong thing to say without realising it.
I'd like to hear you're opinion and/or experience on this matter.



Murdal
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28 Nov 2006, 7:29 am

I always pick the wrong thing to say apparently ;) I prefer to be an introvert. while I do have a network of friends, I only speak when I need too. Smalltalk and gossip are not things I like to deal with. However when I do talk, either have some earplugs ready or something because I can talk for a large amount of time >.>

I think I'm better off as an introvert. Gives off the illusion that I actually know something ;)



cloud
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28 Nov 2006, 9:01 am

Im an extrovert till it hurts (physical) :lol:


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Revenant
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28 Nov 2006, 9:05 am

I'm extrovert.

BTW cloud, your avatar rules. That guy is one of the greatest musicians of all time



schleppenheimer
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28 Nov 2006, 9:42 am

This is a really interesting topic.

My oldest son grew up as an introvert until he reached his junior year of high school. Then he "found" himself and became an extrovert. He felt even more comfortable in college, and became even more extroverted. He's really quite funny (as a lot of Aspies are) and his quirky sense of humor is very appealing to his peers.

My youngest son (10 years) is an extrovert from day one. Loves to act, loves to go on the stage at Barnes and Noble and read to the "masses". He's quiet at school or in other big groups, like someone else mentioned on this thread, because he doesn't do well in large groups. BUT, he can be funny (when his jokes make sense) and he really loves to perform. Sometimes I try to limit it, if it seems inappropriate, but I try to channel him toward appropriate times to perform. He sang a Dashboard Confessional song with his sister at a church talent show, and the whole group stood up with their phones open like you would at a concert. That did a lot for his self-esteem!

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28 Nov 2006, 11:09 am

I'm an extrovert and it shows all throughout these forums.



walk-in-the-rain
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28 Nov 2006, 11:36 am

I'm very introverted - however someone once tried to say that is learned behavior but I disagree and think that is psychological drivel. I think too much extreme of both could have their share of issues. Too introverted and you might be even more intimidated by your lack of social skills, ect. Too extroverted and you may of course have difficulty reining yourself in. I think as people get more confident however that makes a difference as to whether or not your social gaffes are an issue or not. Everyone knows the loveable lout type and understand they mean no harm - or the very shy type who is not being rude. If you project however that you are inadequate than others will pick up on that.



SolaCatella
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28 Nov 2006, 6:13 pm

I am very, very introverted. I only really open up with a few people, and if I don't know anyone very well in a given group, especially if I'm completely new, I will quietly take out a book and read until it is time to go or I have to start working or someone I know comes in. This can be a problem, especially when I need to make friends or contacts, because I get very stressed when I have to talk with people I don't know well--I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing, but I'm even more terrified of having to strike up a conversation. Online is easier. I can just hide for a while if I need to.

Interestingly enough, extremes on this seem to run on my family. My dad and younger sister are total extroverts--they love people and, especially my sister, absolutely hate being alone. My grandfathers and paternal great-grandfather, on the other hand, particularly my maternal grandfather, are/were very introverted, as much as I am. Recently my family threw a surprise birthday for my maternal grandfather--who promptly fled for the basement as soon as the festivities were over.


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28 Nov 2006, 6:54 pm

I'm very introverted until my favourite topics come up, then I can't stop talking.



Fraya
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28 Nov 2006, 7:00 pm

An introvert here.

Id rather not speak to or see anyone unless I absolutely have no other choice.

I do tend to get in trouble for this nature though since while Im introverted Im not shy. I dont want to talk to you and your bothering me but Ill tolerate it since Im in a good mood but the first time you say something stupid I wont hesitate to call you on it and maybe continue on to poke holes in the self-delusions your using to maintain your sanity and optimism just for spite.


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28 Nov 2006, 8:24 pm

I'm both an introvert and an extrovert. If I'm with a bunch of people I don't know, I don't say anything. It takes me a long time to warm up to people. Plus, I love being by myself and prefer to be alone. However, when I'm with a friend or start talking about one of my "special interests," I'm a total extrovert. I ramble on-and-on without stop.
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28 Nov 2006, 8:58 pm

I'm an introvert. Always have been. I'm sociable, I'm friendly, I participate in discussions and meetings at work. But at the end of the day, when everything is over, I need time alone to recharge. And this is the true hallmark of the introvert; extraverts need the company of other people to recharge and unwind.

Still, some people offline scoff at my claim to be an introvert. Possibly because many extraverts equate introversion with shyness... and I've never been shy.


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Beenthere
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28 Nov 2006, 10:05 pm

I'm an introvert...a "watcher"....I like to stand away in the shadows for the most part and just observe.

Here I feel more extroverted (comfortable). 8)


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Aspie94
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28 Nov 2006, 10:49 pm

I'm an introvert with extroverted tendancies. The problem is, when I try to socialize, I say so many inappropriate things that I end up embarassing myself quite often. I prefer my own company or that of the very few who "get" me. I'm less apt to say something stupid if I feel relaxed with somebody.



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28 Nov 2006, 10:57 pm

I consider myself Introvert by default because that's my preference and I function mentally at my best being that way, despite the fact I can be extrovert at times. I only become extrovert when I'm with people I know well enough, or if I'm provoked to converse by someone else. In major crowds I prefer to sit back quietly and wait for someone to provoke me to talk, than to be all involved.


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28 Nov 2006, 11:52 pm

Starbuline wrote:
I'm very introverted until my favourite topics come up, then I can't stop talking.


Basically sums it up for me.I had no problem speaking up in class and at work if the topic interests me or I have an unresolved issue or a solution to put forward.

I love it when I happen to find someone that I have a speaking rhythm with,it is amazing but rare.Some people can actually bring out the "funny" in me....also rare but fun.

Most of the time I prefer doing things that happen to be "solo" activities(reading ,art,puzzles)but I also like having someone to go hiking with,dumpster diving,garage sales,playing cards)I just hate "group" activities.


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