lonely when im not alone... and im lonely when i am alone!

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It sounds like you are overly self conscious of what you say. It sounds like you might have Social Phobia like me.

Last edited by Weirto on 31 Jul 2012, 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot. Volunteer at an old-folks home; those people are just dying for conversation (no pun intended). I used to help out at an Alzheimer's home and learned so much about the human mind. It was a shame to see those poor elderly people fall apart like that though, so only help out at a dementia home if you have a tough heart.

I understand what you're saying. It's like having an illness that stops you from eating or holding down your food, but you know you need to eat or you will die. So if someone tries to tell you that food is the cause of your problems, therefore you need to stop trying to eat, then obviously it would be crazy to listen to them.

Maybe, to continue the analogy, you are being forced to eat (a) when you are not hungry (b) food you don't like (c) under stressful conditions. So you are (a) not getting as much alone time as you need so that you can want social interaction (b) being made to listen to topics you're not interested in (c) having to try to follow social conventions that are alien to you.

It sounds like the thing that stresses you the most is what other people think of you. The best thing you can do as an aspie is just give up caring, because you're never going to win their game. Play your own game and keep your eye out for who else likes to play the same game.

When you do drive someone away, don't be afraid to approach them again when you're ready. The people who really understand, care about and can handle you will accept you back into their lives with no grudge.

i really, really don't recommend that for amboxer, or for the old people. they would be freaked out by his facial piercings, for one thing! but he would hurt and be hurt by them, for sure. i did the helping-old-people thing when i was his age and in a bad place, and it freaked me out, as good as my intentions were. that was before i was diagnosed or had even heard of aspergers or autism.

Yes, I have exactly the same problem. It has been driving me crazy for a few years, actually. Here is the best description I found of it:

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35cnk5/

Great feedback! Perfect actually. I don't know what to say to this. Seems you understand though!

Exactly man! That's what I want... human company but when I have it, I don't want it. It gets to be very hard to figure out what to do ya know. Like should we go do something or should we just talk the whole time? Sometimes I don't know what to say, or can't think of anything. I will talk about anything or something completely random because I have no control over the flow of conversation. Its my attempt to keep the awkward silence at bay. It makes the conversation random, weird, etc. I don't know what to do while talking either. So I just play with my septum ring to occupy my hands. Most if the time it gets boring fast and I don't know how to end it. So it drags on and on. Probably why people avoid me lol

Even if I'm not talking and doing something like.... going somewhere, we still need to talk. Seems everything needs conversation. Maybe that's why I like fast paced things. Such as dirtbiking and sports. They all involve minimal conversation! And at that moment, no one can tell I have aspergers.

Point being, having company is too much work! It makes me not want to have it! But when I don't have it, I get lonely and need it!

When I am meeting someone new, am I supposed to tell them I have autism? I think I should but then am embarrassed and feel it might scare em off!

Is there no in between?

Last edited by amboxer21 on 06 Sep 2012, 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

embrace the silence. stop worrying about trying to be someone you are not, and be with someone who will embrace the silence.