Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

Morningstar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 152

05 Aug 2012, 12:24 am

Does the title describe anyone else here?

I find that I am much happier by myself than I am with other people. When I'm alone, I can do whatever I want, but when I'm with people, they might not like the same things as me, and then I get bored with them.

I have been lonely at times in the past, so it's not completely foreign to me, but I am much more often overwhelmed by people (or bored with them and itching to do something that catches my fancy).



rebbieh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,583
Location: The North.

05 Aug 2012, 1:18 am

Yes definitely.

Also, I like being alone but I don't like being lonely. I want friends because I don't want to be lonely, but I don't want to hang out with them that often.



Sagroth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 590
Location: Kansas

05 Aug 2012, 1:49 am

For the most part, I do very well alone(or in the company of solely my wife).

However, there are times every now and again when I do feel the need to socialize in some way. For that, I have a few of what I call "low upkeep friends." every now and again one of us will call and ask the other if we should just spend time watching movies on the couch. We can each come and go as we please from the social situation. It's worked quite well for me.


_________________
KWATZ!


redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

05 Aug 2012, 4:41 am

Alone and lonely. This is my fate in life.



Morningstar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 152

09 Aug 2012, 12:36 am

Do you guys think I might have a personality disorder or something? :? It really worries me that very few people seem to be able to relate to me in this way. I'm more likely to have the urge to get AWAY from people, rather than the urge to be WITH them. I'm like rebbieh in that I have friends and I enjoy being with them sometimes, but I don't want to see them that often.

I'm comfortable this way, so my worrying is due mainly to the fact that so few people seem to be able to relate with me :/ I've asked this elsewhere and I don't remember getting a lot of affirmative answers there, either.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

09 Aug 2012, 11:34 pm

I related to that a lot & I think lots here would. Lots of us had bad experiences with others; being bullied, problems fitting in ect. We tend to dislike or have problems with NT chat-chat, we like predictability & NTs aren't, we have our special interest & not like typical NT things. It makes sense to me that some would like being alone. I defiantly did as a kid; I was so overwhelmed from school & teachers, & my parents that I wanted everyone to leave me the hell alone. I was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality instead of AS because I was an extreme loner but I'm pretty sure that is somewhat related to my Aspie issues & my psychs missed the root cause.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Scanner
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 25 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 436

10 Aug 2012, 9:39 am

I can't stand being alone, unless I am talking to someone on the phone or something. I like being around people or talking to people.



Bubbles137
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 563

10 Aug 2012, 12:16 pm

I never used to get lonely but for some reason, I've started to over the last couple of years. I don't like being in the house on my own all the time but at the same time, I don't like being around people for more than a few hours at a time unless it's in a situation where I know what's going to happen and how long I'm spending with them, like at work or arranging to meet at a certain time. Although when I'm with certain people, the time doesn't seem to matter and I end up spending way too much time talking to them and only realise when they say they've got to go and by then I've annoyed them. Need to work on a balance...



Jediyoda
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: Brisbane Queensland

12 Aug 2012, 2:53 am

I love being alone and being by myself there is no dramas, no problems, no stress and no socializing with anyone Yes! I can concentrate on my interests which is building my model airplanes, watching my airplane documentries, reading my airplane books and magazines, read my david eddings books, play my xbox, draw, listen to music, go on the internet and watch movies and documentries. I find the less you know the better it is when it comes to dramas, situations, problems and friends fighting with each other having another sim card, mobile phone number and not being on facebook at all, I have deactivated my facebook and I have no interest in getting back on facebook ever again.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

12 Aug 2012, 10:51 am

i spiral down deep into depression if left alone for longer period
i do need a bit of social interaction from time to time
just someone to share my emotions with
other then that too much interaction, social gatherings bogs me down.


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Webalina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 787
Location: Piney Woods of East Texas

17 Aug 2012, 12:57 am

I asked my dad one time years ago about how he didn't seem to have any friends, and didn't he get lonely? He used those exact words "I'm alone but not lonely." At the time I didn't know what he meant, but now I TOTALLY get it. And agree -- I'd much rather spend time alone than with people. And if I have to be with people for any length of time, I need time to be alone to decompress. Most of my family -- Dad obviously excepted -- are social butterflies and don't understand at all.



chris5000
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,599
Location: united states

17 Aug 2012, 1:12 am

I only want friends so I can do activity's that require more than one person. like rock climbing or offroading I have a lot of interest that require a group.



Cfroi
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 143
Location: Hong Kong

18 Aug 2012, 6:08 am

With people I lost my soul, but when alone, seems everything just come back. But sometimes the problem is, interaction with people seems unavoidable.


_________________
William
Asian
My NT score: 35%
You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.


ardentauthor
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Eastern U.S.

18 Aug 2012, 4:25 pm

Yes, most of the time.
On occassion, though, it's good to share ideas with people, even if you have to go through the boring ones first...



AvidReader88
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2012
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 13
Location: Louisiana

18 Aug 2012, 9:22 pm

Hi Morningstar, yes I am the same way. Sometimes I am disturbed that I have very little desire for social contact (if any). I do have some friends but like another poster said, I don't really like hanging out with them that often. I tend to keep very busy with projects, not to distract myself from being alone, but more like an OCD type thing where I have all these things I need to do all the time and they are not really social (e.g. clean my fish tanks, work on websites that I maintain, etc.).



Ataraxia_N
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3
Location: Sweden

19 Aug 2012, 4:33 am

I don't like spending time with people without doing something I find worthwhile so I spend most of my time alone doing what I want when I want and I haven't felt lonely for as long as I can remember. Those few I think of as my friends understand this about me and has come to accept that I have no interest in doing things I think are boring, unnecessary or frivolous.
I am my own best friend, and as long as I can think from more then one point of view I will never lack stimulating "conversation". I can almost always just think about things that interest me and have a better time than if I spent it with someone.

I sometimes think that those who feel lonely are trying to fill some need they have that they themselves cannot fill, which in my opinion only shows that they should get to know themselves better. I don't think using external sources to satisfy an internal need can be a long-term solution. Though this is only a speculation, since I don't really know how it feels to be lonely.


_________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

"I live in that solitute which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity." - A. Einstein