Do you get a lot attention from the opposite gender?

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Can't say I agree with you there, MXH. I've seen plenty of men express this idea. That doesn't make it any less offensive.

The problem is that the claim makes a lot of assumptions without necessarily knowing anything about the woman's experience. It is a self serving argument that belittles any woman who rejects a man who is actually being creepy by claiming she is just being capricious. It's the sort of comment an insecure and immature person would make.

I used to get a lot of male attention - I noticed a huge drop in attention once I reached the age of 25, which was a little depressing. I still get a little attention now when conditions are right and it seems to no longer be just men wanting to get into my pants with zero interest in me as a person. I've had a few guys I know try to 'come onto me' since I left my ex long-term boyfriend, despite the fact I have a new boyfriend and they fall into the category of 'wanting to get into my pants' so it's not at all welcomed attention.

because thats a fairy tale world where men throw themselves at anything that moves. Tat there are men who are more consistent than others is something i wont deny, that everywhere she goes she just cant do simply tasks over hordes of men creeping her out is a fallacy. I lived the past year with an underwear model. So yes, i know exactly how much attention an extremely attractive woman gets, its not as much as most women claim. Men simply arent the preying creatures that you make us sound to be.

It also claims many assumptions on mens side of things. The argument isnt about men who are trully creepy, its about those who are labeled as such simply because the specific woman didnt like them. Theres plenty of things that are creepy, but simply complimenting someone, saying a friendly gesture, offering help, etc. arent creepy and worthy of the crap given by so many. The only thing offensive here is being called creepy because she didnt like you from the start. Not only is it offensive it also shows a large level of mistrust leaning towards hate. Its quite an unhealthy mindset if you ask me.

The only insecure and immature comment is the one that takes on a side blindly, it shows not only you cant use logic but also that you cant accept new things. Also you're creepy because i dont like your avatar.

Enough I guess. I probably get more than average. Part of the problem is I'm usually oblivious to the attention. So it's like "dudebro she blinked she liked you in Morse code how do you miss that?" I'm just exceedingly...dumb with women. Like even when I'm all confident and feeling good, I'm still dumb.

I've told this story on here, but...
Girl:
"Hey, know anything fun to do around here?"

Me:
"Oh no, I don't do anything fun."

...
"She was asking to go out with you, you idiot."

So in Fallout terms, I fail the speech checks miserably, and then I don't notice females taking attention to me and it takes other people telling me to figure it out. OR them being blatantly obvious and having girls shout out of a car like "hey sexy" or something. I've managed to catch on slightly to the blushing and staring nonverbal cues, too. Yay.

My record is horrible. 2 girls in middle school, 1 right out of high school, and 1 girl last summer but I blew that because I called her out due to her lieing to me, and being a flakey inconsiderate princess. (only 1 "date" with the last one, only one ever in my existance) Who knew girls don't like being called out for being brats My brother still makes fun of me when I went to a restaurant with the family and a gay guy was checking me out. I get a smile from a girl maybe 1 time a year if I am lucky. Had a milf wave and smile at me because I was smiling and waving at her due to being hammered

Other than work and having to deal with customers, the only time I see women are at a cash register if I need to buy something and they won't even look at me. 60+ year old women love me, get complimented at least once a week Too bad i'm 27

Please describe in full detail the exact circumstances that the woman was referring to. If you were there and can show that the men she was referring to we're not behaving in a threatening and creepy manner then fine, i'll concede the point. But if you are just blindly making assumptions then you have no argument.

Not every man behaves in a creepy manner. And sometimes some women perceive innocent behavior as creepy and react badly. Unfortunately life isn't simple and people don't always behave rationally. I certainly understand why many men have a knee jerk reaction to being thought of as creepy. I have the same reaction when men as a group are dismissed as being inherently sexist. Any of these broad generalizations are wrong.

My point here is that the suggestion that a woman who complains of having to contend with creepy behavior is just applying that label to anyone she is not attracted to is grossly dismissive of what can be a very threatening situation. (Note that it was referred to as "creepy / aggressive attention" this is not referring to a smile in passing or holding a door for a person.)

You argue that I am taking a side blindly. I will agree that I don't know the woman's side of this issue, but that's not what I was reacting to. Many women DO have to contend with subtle threats hidden in inappropriate compliments, unwanted touching etc. I've seen men behave very badly. I've also seen women behave just as badly in other ways.

My reaction above was to the post that directly claimed that if a woman stated she felt a man was being creepy, it was only because she didn't find him attractive. The problem with that point of view is that, first of all, it is dismissive of a woman's sense of being threatened and second, it is a way for a man who behaves in a creepy manner to put the onus on the woman and pretend he bares no responsibility for making her feel threatened. Whether the specific woman had a valid argument or not, the attitude expressed remains abhorrent.

again, ive never claimed women dont have creepy guys every so often around them. What I am bringing up is that in that specific post (and even some in the past) they claim the men to be creepy but can not give a reason beyond not liking them. Or they make up a reason to justify their thoughts.

The main problem with creepy is that as some similar words(b*tch for example) its way too overused and has lost most of the original meaning.

You see plenty of males being labelled as creep for merely approaching someone on the street when they dont qualify as such until they show that they dont understand that no means no...

Its also very circumstantial and only applicable when a person feels like using it which makes it look like a double standard.
Last week for example I was by myself at a bar. I was about to meet some acquaintances but I tend to be there early because I hate making people wait.

As I was waiting some random girl showed up and asked the waiter about the group of people I was going to meet so she was told to just sit on my table(without either of them asking my opinion about this at any time whatsoever(15 minutes until the group meeting actually started, who cares if you just want to sit there alone for a few more minutes)) and she did so without any questioning.
We had never seen each other, I was a potential creep, yet she needed my help so she started introducing herself and whatnot like it was the most normal thing to do.

Im not going to complain about this sort of thing but you cant just use the creep label whenever it suits you and then forget about any potential creep whenever you need something, regardless of your gender and who you are applying this label to its not right and it makes little/no sense.

I got tired of the creepy thing so now I just never talk to women unless they talk to me first. Well not never, but rarely, and not for long periods. But I think women like me better now, though, so women don't complain I'm creepy as much anymore.

I'm inclined to believe unattractive=creepy, in my experience. I lost like 40lbs and changed my posture and added some muscle mass (no abs yet, though, ugh, 10% bodyfat), and yep, much less "creepy" now for some reason. Females got a LOT friendlier after those changes. Maybe it's my own confidence, but even on unconfident days, still treated better by women.

Actually if you look back through this thread you will see that what she wrote was "creepy / aggressive attention". Creepy is a fairly general and vague term and I agree that it can be easily overused. But "aggressive attention" is a fairly specific kind of behavior that is directly threatening. Aggressive attention, no matter who it comes from, can be very intimidating.

Secondly, I'll repeat myself yet again. It is the dismissive attitude that bothered me. I know nothing of the specific circumstances here. I only know that implying that a woman who complains of feeling threatened by creepy, aggressive attention is doing so only because she finds the person unattractive is dismissive of her concerns and treats her as if she were inherently the one at fault. I assume we agree on that point.

Unfortunately people can be quite clever in how they behave. It is entirely possible to threaten a person through tone of voice and physical position, yet say something that sounds very polite. A woman might be left feeling threatened, but not be able to articulate what it was that intimidated her. Put yourself in this situation... You turn down a street and see that there are 3 or 4 rather large men between you and your destination. As you walk forward, one steps in front of you and asks politely, "Where you headed?". You can hear another man take a step toward you from behind. You say "Excuse me." and try to step around the man. He shifts in front of you again and says "Hey, what's the problem. I'm just trying to be friendly."

Would it be fair to say that you would feel threatened despite the fact that no one had touched you and all words were spoken politely? Would it be fair to claim that it was only some prejudice in you that caused you to feel threatened and had nothing to do with the actions of the men.

One thing you have to understand. If you behave decently, you are not the one women are complaining about. There is a real problem of men being a bit over sensitive to this issue. I understand a bit of sensitivity. I have it too. I don't like being misrepresented if I am behaving well. And women don't like it either. Don't be dismissive and misrepresent their statements and they will be less inclined to do the same to you.

No not at all and especially not from the good-looking ladies. Overall, I feel very much nonexistent to the kind of women who attract me.

Last edited by Uri on 08 Aug 2012, 1:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

you have a very butterflies and unicorns view of things. i think ive explained it enough, if you wish to continue to ignore or misread what i say you're more than welcome to, but you dont make assumptions.

If I was a woman, I'd wanna be Lydia Valentin, so I could fight the evil man monsters by throwing them over my head with my awesome weightlifting powers.


Nothing would be percieved as threatening anymore, as...
WHO COULD STAND AGAINST?!


Also, I'd want a pistol permit much more if I were a woman. And then I'd carry an FN Five Seven with a 10 round mag extension, and 2-3 extra mags (30 rounds per mag) and then be able to take down entire gangs with ease.


"Where you headed?"
"I go where I please."

.....


But as a man my life is significantly more boring as there's less perceived threats.

Oh well, just a fun thought experiment. I've been playing too much Fallout lately.

I don't get much attention here.
The only time I do, it is from other foreigners, not from the majority / locals.

I've noticed the amount can change quite radically depending on where I am (in terms of which country). In some places it's much more accepted to approach or give attention, and in other places, not so much or very little depending on the culture.

Last edited by Kjas on 08 Aug 2012, 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

not just does the ability to approach change by place/culture, but so does the places/style/etc associated with it.