Do you get a lot attention from the opposite gender?

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not just does the ability to approach change by place/culture, but so does the places/style/etc associated with it.

Don't worry Kjas, I like Brazilian women Ay caramba, senorita!

LOL

woah, my lived experience sure is controversial, sorry for the derail

I'll clarify quantity since that seems to be an issue
once in a while is 1-3 times a year
pretty constant is once or more a day

interesting to hear the only reason I don't like being touched without my consent, having crotches rubbed on me in transit, comments from strangers on my breasts, being leered at while someone rubs their dick though their pants, and crude comments in the street / yelling/being hollad at is because the guys aren't boneable enough
and that the only difference between that and the guy I know from my coding class asking me if I'd want to go to the dining hall one day with him is that he's a mega hottie and they're ugly
...it's really not like there is a giant gulf in the appropriateness of the behavior or respect for my boundaries

I guess in a twisted way that is kinda accurate because I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who acted the way the 2nd group does
regardless of their physical attractiveness creepy/aggressive behavior from a stranger (or anyone) is supremely unattractive
and I do find being well mannered attractive

so you got the categories right but the causality wrong, it's okay, nobody is perfect

I think the issue is where the dividing line is. Clearly a stranger grabbing you or rubbing against you without your consent is not respectful of your boundaries. But the one "comments from strangers on your breasts" is getting a little closer to something I'd expect even a "typically nice" guy to do.

What about some guy from one of your classes asking you to the dining hall, but then as you start talking, he is clearly looking at your breasts every so often (but not saying anything or touching them)? I don't mean to the exclusion of carrying on a conversation, but at the same time. Or, what if he was admiring at them in class before he asked you?

What if you have been having deep conversations about whatever a few times, and seem to be each interested in what the other has to say, and then one day while on the sofa at your apartment he drifts over and starts pressing his body against yours--or hugs you when saying hello/goodbye in such a way that's kind of a little too intimate for just friends? Is any guy who wants to "get in your pants" creepy, even if he's that guy in your coding class?

I don't make crude comments to women on buses and the like. Where I might come across as too aggressive is when I misinterpret a desire for friendship as sexual interest. And most female friends, if they're halfway attractive, will create some sexual interest there. For some women, even that is "creepy" unless you're the one out of 15 of her friends she likes that way.

I don't think I get any more or less attention from women than any other guy my age; but when I do, it's usually positive, which is nice. I don't think I'm anything special in the looks department, but I guess some women seem to think otherwise. I'm OK with that, though.

Last edited by Zokk on 08 Aug 2012, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Exactly. Especially since some of them won't take no for an answer, when they do bother to ask. I've thought about buying a t-shirt to wear. Something along the lines of, "I like to dance alone. Do not approach. Just...don't." But that's overkill.

I fade into the background so No

Nope.

Actually, no; saying "Nice tits" to a complete stranger is generally considered creepy.
Sexual comments are inappropriate unless mutual interest has been established.

I have worked in several factories and understand DogsWithoutHorses completely. Any woman the men liked would be hit on in a very suggestive manor. The lines and body language always reminded me of lines from a cheap porno. But life isn't a porno it's usually a jobsite. My last job I explained this to the HR woman and she had no idea. They responded with the proper urgency and tried to establish a more professional culture.
I got instant resolution because bosses want productivity not flirting and lawsuits. Any number of women coworkers I've told to go to the top and complain would have at least accomplished the same.
But every one would insist on not making trouble. I promise that is not the case. You just improved productivity and alerted them to potential costly litigation.
Sorry I know I ramble and my posts jump track often. I hope it was coherent.

That was a good reaction! I especially like where you said:

I used to be a waitress, and the harassment was beyond belief! Countless men seemed to think that I was some kind of on demand sex toy parading behind the counter for their approval, a instead of a single woman trying to support her family on worse than minimum wage.

I invested in a Concealed Carry License and a handgun after being assaulted at knifepoint this past December, actually. I'm still very wary of my surroundings and employ every safety tip I can think of, but overall, I feel much better.



I don't get any attention- but then I don't know where one might go to find such.
My only real excursions are to the grocery and a few other stores.

I get hit on a lot.

But usually I fail because..

A: I'm a little bit of a perfectionist when it comes to looks, and if the girls not right in my eyes I want nothing to do with her. (Shallow I know, but I can't change the way I am!)

or

B: I'm too socially awkward to make anything happen with a girl I am actually attracted to.

I would say 'not at all' but to be perfectly honest I wouldn't have a clue if I was being flirted with because I'm hopelessly oblivious. Even my Aspie father said to me "what's wrong with you? That girl practically jumped in your arms and begged you to take her out?" to which I was STILL oblivious since after all, she never spoke up and expressed interest. I'm completely serious when I say that if a women were to literally throw herself repeatedly at me, I would just comment again and again how fortunate I was able to catch her from falling again and again and how she must be having a really bad day. Yes, I was literally that clueless until recently!

Unfortunately, one thing I DID always notice are the negative reactions. I can't forget those no matter how hard I try!

yes and no. i think i am reasonably ok looking for a 40 year old, but i look much younger (at work they've settled on me looking 25 at maximum). so if you consider me in contrast to 25 year olds (as i appear to be), i'm honestly not really that good looking compared to them. so no... i don't get tons of attention in real life. very occasional basic reaction of some kind like a whistle or something (which i actually appreciate as a compliment).

i get occasional males online who are interested, like on WrongPlanet (just goes to show you that men don't necessarily fit the stereotype of wanting quiet/reticent softspoken women. in my experience men are pretty individual in their tastes).

on FB, i have had a few men hitting on me but they tend to be spammy. they are similar to "love scammers" as they appear to send copied and pasted messages to multiple women. i am always polite to them, but if they are persistent i do defriend them. they don't interact with me other than to proclaim their love/attraction so it isn't really a friendship.