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avuna
Emu Egg
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Joined: 24 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
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25 Aug 2012, 3:54 am

The problem with asperger is that you don't understand the smalltalk cause it's not necessary in your opinion. So instead you start chatting about a matter, or let be to talk at all.
The best way to talk to an asperger who is chatty, is to try put the conversation over to just that, tell the person exactly how you would talk rather than listen to them talking. Straight to the point so to speak. if not be just honest and say exactly what you think about what is being said. Without honesty there is no need to chat with you. Do not interupt but try to show that you have an idea about what is being said and be honest just like that. If you're bored, tell us. You don't have to go easy on an asperger, cause there is enough people who would not even listen and just let the aspie talk and talk and never give a response. Whatever reaction you get it's for the good. Some people might get mad, some people might get silent, some people will love you for telling them the truth. Also if you listen to someone try to understand what is behind what they're saying rather than burp out with your solutions of how an asperger should act, solutions is not a good way to treat an asperger, leading them to a solution is better. How you get there, is the question, you have to see what's behind what the asperger is thinking and get to the point where he knows what you're saying. Use the active listener method to get somewhere. To not to forget, ask questions leading to the right answers.

I too have issues talking to the quiet ones, as it's very hard to make them speaking about something and as aspie i don't have very much to talk about but questions and try to make them talk.


Today i was told that what i miss is this way of talking "I have something important i need to discuss with you". WHich would often lead to the "what did you wanted to talk about?", but not always, but if someone used common sense it would be a good idea of the further conversation and make the aspie interesting, but as usual i most of the time do this "i am so depressed and go on about my life" rather than make clear what is the subject, and then people tend to think that i'm not interested in a discussion but want a solo conversation. Which is also wrong, I can read all the faces and messages being sent to me, but i still had no way to socially make the conversation to go in the right way. If you see what i mean.



daydreamer84
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Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 39
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25 Aug 2012, 8:01 pm

I think a lot of what you said is good advice for someone talking to an aspie, like to be very direct and say exactly what they mean. and be really honest and to just tell us if they're getting bored.