Joined: 15 Oct 2014 Age: 57 Gender: Male Posts: 158 Location: St. Vital, Canada
10 Dec 2014, 12:53 am
WantToHaveALife wrote:
i desire, crave physical affection, but can't get it
Not true.
You can get affection from many beings:
* A Human - incarnate or discarnate spirit * An Animal - a pet * Nature - trees * A teddy bear - yes, even a teddy bear can have some consciousness in it
Joined: 13 Oct 2014 Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 176 Location: SoCal ~ Los Angeles
15 Dec 2014, 1:23 am
Yes, you definitely can be. I absolutely love giving and receiving affection from others, especially with my boyfriend. The affection that I give him, though, is greatly different than that of the affection I would give to say my younger brothers or other family members.
_________________ "Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge." ~ Plato
Joined: 23 May 2013 Age: 31 Gender: Male Posts: 117 Location: Vancouver, Canada
18 Dec 2014, 5:06 am
Definitely, I'm super affectionate and I think I might really crave affection as a strong interest.
_________________ Specialisterne is an international nonprofit which has the singular goal of enabling 1 million jobs for people on spectrum. DO check them out! I conducted an interview on national radio regarding my experiences with Specialisterne and SAP.
On a more local level, Focus Professional Services is a consulting organization based in Vancouver, Canada that attempts to hire people on the spectrum to act as IT consultants. They're a very new organization.
For those of us in Vancouver, there is an Aspies Meetup group; pm me if you're interested. I look forward to seeing anyone in Vancouver either in person or in a larger gathering!
Joined: 21 Oct 2014 Age: 32 Gender: Male Posts: 1,900 Location: West Springfield, MA
18 Dec 2014, 1:28 pm
I believe that Aspies can be affectionate. I'm an Aspie and there have been plenty of occasions where I've desired affection. I've even fantasized about receiving affection from one of the opposite sex (aside from my mom) partially because I've never had a girlfriend. Despite this, I still want to know what it's like to kiss and even snuggle with a girl among other things. So yeah, I believe that desiring affection is normal for an Aspie though it doesn't apply to every Aspie necessarily. Every Aspie is different and what one might desire another could just as easily be terrified of. It's all just a matter of knowing what you're comfortable with.
Joined: 15 Dec 2014 Age: 36 Gender: Male Posts: 111 Location: Vancouver
18 Dec 2014, 8:52 pm
I am super affectionate and LOVED all the cute stuff with my past girlfriends =) That includes holding hands, cuddling (for hours), hugging, brushing my face/nose/lips on hers, kissing softly, kissing her face everywhere. All the innocent things. All hightend by my sensitivity to touch. As far as being touched it's difficult sometimes as being tickled or touched lightly makes me angry. Being touched in this way is overwhelming and feels like I'm recieving an electric shock. Around my torso is super sensitive to touch especially my belly. I don't like being touched on my sides or my belly at all.
Joined: 21 Oct 2014 Age: 32 Gender: Male Posts: 1,900 Location: West Springfield, MA
19 Dec 2014, 3:07 pm
NoGyroApproach wrote:
Hi Sarthos- Yes aspies can be affectionate. They may not outwardly show it in the same way that an NT does. The other thing I hear that really gets me down is when I hear that people on the autistic spectrum are unemotionally. That one for me really hurts. I may not express outward emotion the way an NT does but that does not mean a person with aspergers or autism is heartless and emotionless.
I wish you luck in your quest
I can definitely relate to the emotional side of this. For over a decade before I was diagnosed as an Aspie, my mom in particular noticed that whenever she asked me to smile for a picture that my smiles were small, soft, and almost hardly noticeable plus that I had a flat affect in that I wouldn't show much emotion in speech. After I was diagnosed and she learned more about it, she came to realize that I just have a different way of expressing emotion and that I do it on a different level. I have worked over the years on my affect, but I'll never be the type of person who does one of those big cartoony grins because it's just not something I'm comfortable with. That doesn't mean I'm an emotionless shell of a human being. I'm just more reserved at times. Get me hopped up on 2 cans of Monster though and I swear I become as hyperactive and bubbly as Pinkie Pie. Not even joking.
I don't touch anyone, ever, except my boyfriend whom it seems I need to constantly touch. As with selective mutism, it's like I save all of it up until I'm with him and then completely unload. It feels like relief and comfort.
I've noticed that hugs are the exception. I bear hug him all the time, but I feel smothered if he does it.
From my experience, Aspies can be very affectionate and they do care about their loved ones, it's just that they have a funny way of showing it; extrovert wise, they may come off as cold and aloof, but introvert wise, they can be some of the most affectionate people you will ever know, and some people even think that these feelings go much deeper than most NTs' do.
Joined: 23 May 2016 Gender: Female Posts: 302 Location: US.
19 Sep 2016, 7:37 pm
FluttercordAspie93 wrote:
From my experience, Aspies can be very affectionate and they do care about their loved ones, it's just that they have a funny way of showing it; extrovert wise, they may come off as cold and aloof, but introvert wise, they can be some of the most affectionate people you will ever know, and some people even think that these feelings go much deeper than most NTs' do.
Joined: 27 May 2016 Gender: Female Posts: 686 Location: South-eastern Washington
19 Sep 2016, 7:42 pm
I'm very physically affectionate with people I care about.
_________________ Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor
Joined: 11 Dec 2013 Age: 36 Gender: Male Posts: 16,181 Location: US
20 Sep 2016, 12:07 am
stephasaurus666 wrote:
Has anyone experienced selective affection?
I don't touch anyone, ever, except my boyfriend whom it seems I need to constantly touch. As with selective mutism, it's like I save all of it up until I'm with him and then completely unload. It feels like relief and comfort.
I've noticed that hugs are the exception. I bear hug him all the time, but I feel smothered if he does it.
Why only one person and not even my own parents
i dont know but I'm the same way so since I'm single forever I miss out on vital physical touch. My family finds it irritating
Joined: 4 Feb 2014 Gender: Male Posts: 87,510 Location: Queens, NYC
21 Sep 2016, 10:26 pm
In recent times, I haven't really recoiled from it too much--but when I was younger, I wasn't too much into being touched. I believe this is sensory-related. I still don't like it when men are affectionate with me.