Do you find this type of gossip boring?

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Matt62
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03 Sep 2012, 7:09 pm

If it relates to some relevant topic, maybe. Generally, tough gossip is boring. I certainly DO NOT CARE WHAT CELEBRITY WENT INTO REHAB yesterday. Or who is dating who around the watercooler.

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03 Sep 2012, 11:49 pm

Rascal77s wrote:
I don't dislike pointless gossip, I hate it. I've made attempts recently to form a friendship with some people at the dog park. It was actually going well; they invited me to diner and other get together with a small group of 6-8 people. then the gossip started about people in the neighborhood. A few occasions like that and I just cut contact with them. I don't know why people can't just mind their own f***ing business. Seems like most people can't feel good about themselves without putting someone else down behind their back. Then when they're all talking to each other face to face they fake being nice. gossip seems pretty 'chickenshit' to me.


yep im hre wth you i cant stand any type of gossip

i dont give a s**t about who went into rehab yesterday cause celebs go in and out like... water


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04 Sep 2012, 12:21 am

the bits about someone dying are somewhat relevant since it would clue me in to how I might need to approach the person if I ever interacted with them. major trauma produces patterned emotional reactions with predictable expected responses, which I like...I mean death sucks but I'm better with it than football or whatever.


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04 Sep 2012, 12:26 am

I love gossip that helps me learn about human relations, but if there's no criticism going on, just facts, it's boring because I learn nothing.


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04 Sep 2012, 12:58 am

Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind gossip, and I like the ''oh did you hear about....?'' gossip, especially if it's about people who I know of. But does anyone find the type of gossip where a group of people are talking about a whole family of people who you don't know? Sometimes my mum and her sisters and brother say things like:-

Mum: I saw A the other day
Sister 1: Where does she live now?
Mum: She lives up [name of street]
Sister 2: Didn't her brother die?
Mum: Yeah, that was some years ago now
Sister 1: Was it the older brother or the younger brother?
Mum: I thought she only had 1 brother
Sister 1: No, she had 2 brothers. One was my age, and I think the other one was Sister 2's age
Sister 2: They had a sister aswell, didn't they?
Mum: Yeah, B used to work with her
Sister 2: That's right. Where does she live now?
Mum: Up [name of street]

And it goes on and on like that. Does anyone else find this boring? And then people find me boring when I talk about the people whom I'm obsessed with, because they don't know them. Now I know it's boring hearing people having deep conversations about people you never heard of.


ps. I'm not bashing any NTs.


Oh my god these kind of conversations make want to jump off a roof. It's not so bad if it's about people you know and admire and want to catch up on some things. However the worse is when you meet a new group of poeple you don't know and they include you in but end up talking about that kind of stuff instead of asking you questions. It's like come on don't bore the new guy about stuff he doesn't know about such as about other people he/she doesn't know. I actually find it quite rude.


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04 Sep 2012, 1:03 am

If I dont know who they are then yes its boring. And if its coming out of my moms mouth talking about relatives and her older women friends then yes its boring.

That depends on the context and how much affliation I have with the person.



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04 Sep 2012, 4:04 am

infilove wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind gossip, and I like the ''oh did you hear about....?'' gossip, especially if it's about people who I know of. But does anyone find the type of gossip where a group of people are talking about a whole family of people who you don't know? Sometimes my mum and her sisters and brother say things like:-

Mum: I saw A the other day
Sister 1: Where does she live now?
Mum: She lives up [name of street]
Sister 2: Didn't her brother die?
Mum: Yeah, that was some years ago now
Sister 1: Was it the older brother or the younger brother?
Mum: I thought she only had 1 brother
Sister 1: No, she had 2 brothers. One was my age, and I think the other one was Sister 2's age
Sister 2: They had a sister aswell, didn't they?
Mum: Yeah, B used to work with her
Sister 2: That's right. Where does she live now?
Mum: Up [name of street]

And it goes on and on like that. Does anyone else find this boring? And then people find me boring when I talk about the people whom I'm obsessed with, because they don't know them. Now I know it's boring hearing people having deep conversations about people you never heard of.


ps. I'm not bashing any NTs.


Oh my god these kind of conversations make want to jump off a roof. It's not so bad if it's about people you know and admire and want to catch up on some things. However the worse is when you meet a new group of poeple you don't know and they include you in but end up talking about that kind of stuff instead of asking you questions. It's like come on don't bore the new guy about stuff he doesn't know about such as about other people he/she doesn't know. I actually find it quite rude.


If it's an update about someone I know who I haven't seen for a while then it's alright, provided people don't go on and on about it. What bores me is socialite females who talk about celebrities or themselves non-stop. I find it really frustrating to talk to people like this as all they do is harp on about themselves and yet, two hours later, you realise you have learnt absolutely nothing from them at all. Definitely a 'slash the wrists' moment.


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04 Sep 2012, 5:14 am

the conversation that you specified is not one that I would classify as gossip, it's not unfounded rumours or mean spirited, it strikes me as a matter of fact discussion about someone - it may not be interesting to you but that doesn't make it gossiping.


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04 Sep 2012, 5:46 am

I don't see that kind of "matter-of-fact" gossip as a bad thing. Just like others here, I'm not going to feel interested if it's about somebody I'm not interested in. No big surprises there. If it's about somebody I'm interested in, then the information could be useful, though I seem to have a limited capacity for drinking in personal details that don't have any obvious, immediate value.

I hate negative gossip though. In the workplace it's often about people who have power over me, and the gossipers never resolve anything, so I just feel threatened by these vague tales of evil deeds. It's not that they're particularly stretching the truth, as far as I can see. The problem is that they never follow through with a discussion on how to effectively protect ourselves from these evil deeds. I get told that "they pick people off one by one," but where's the "so the way to stop them is to......" It's as if they find unfair bosses acceptable as long as they can whinge.

According to Wikipedia, people generally dislike gossipers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip#Per ... who_gossip
That surprised me, I thought a lot of mainstreamers really admired it, though if they really don't, I can't see how the activity survives, unless people have very slack standards for selecting friends. If I hear somebody backbiting as if it's acceptable (i.e. not just because they're really upset), it puts me off them a treat.
I don't understand why it's seen as bad form to talk about people positively though. Obviously it would do more good to tell the person concerend, but I don't see anything wrong with praising people or sharing indifferent (but non-confidential) information behind their backs, and I do see something good about it.



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04 Sep 2012, 6:43 am

infilove wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind gossip, and I like the ''oh did you hear about....?'' gossip, especially if it's about people who I know of. But does anyone find the type of gossip where a group of people are talking about a whole family of people who you don't know? Sometimes my mum and her sisters and brother say things like:-

Mum: I saw A the other day
Sister 1: Where does she live now?
Mum: She lives up [name of street]
Sister 2: Didn't her brother die?
Mum: Yeah, that was some years ago now
Sister 1: Was it the older brother or the younger brother?
Mum: I thought she only had 1 brother
Sister 1: No, she had 2 brothers. One was my age, and I think the other one was Sister 2's age
Sister 2: They had a sister aswell, didn't they?
Mum: Yeah, B used to work with her
Sister 2: That's right. Where does she live now?
Mum: Up [name of street]

And it goes on and on like that. Does anyone else find this boring? And then people find me boring when I talk about the people whom I'm obsessed with, because they don't know them. Now I know it's boring hearing people having deep conversations about people you never heard of.


ps. I'm not bashing any NTs.


Oh my god these kind of conversations make want to jump off a roof. It's not so bad if it's about people you know and admire and want to catch up on some things. However the worse is when you meet a new group of poeple you don't know and they include you in but end up talking about that kind of stuff instead of asking you questions. It's like come on don't bore the new guy about stuff he doesn't know about such as about other people he/she doesn't know. I actually find it quite rude.


Yes! And I start thinking to myself, "Why did these people even bother to include me if all they're going to do is talk about people I don't know?"

And then sometimes they have the audacity to turn around and say, "You've been very quiet," or some such. Well, what was I supposed to say? Start asking questions about the people they're talking about? Comment without knowing the people? Change the subject?



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04 Sep 2012, 6:55 am

I dislike low grade small talk and pity those who find interest in it.


I once went on a blind date.
Yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,just imagine a middle aged AS man on a blind date.
I was terrified.

The couple who arranged it (and my date) all worked together in the same office.
They spent all evening talking about people at work and I found it impossible to crowbar my way into the conversation. Every time I tried to ease them onto another subject they sprang back into office chat mode. Needless to say I was very angry with my two friends when my "date" had left.

It was my first; and last blind date.



Sunny55
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04 Sep 2012, 8:22 am

I would find this boring, too. If I don't know any of the people involved, then there has to be some other 'hook' for me to be really interested.
I remember once asking a man if he had any siblings, thinking he would say something like 'A sister and two brothers,' and leave it there. Instead he went on at great length about their names, marriages, divorces, offspring, the proffessions of these offsrping, his differing emotional relationships with them all etc etc etc for 45 minutes. I never asked him another question after this.