Aspie-NT marriage falling apart?

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Jhb44
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

19 Sep 2012, 3:23 pm

My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years now and although I don't feel as though I have changed much, when I was diagnosed with AS, she was filled with a mixture of relief and confusion. She says she's not sure how she feels about me anymore, not sure if she has the energy/strength to relearn how to communicate together, and worried about the possibility of having AS kids in the future. I'm not sure what to do here, but in the meantime it's nearly impossible to deal with the ambiguity of whether or not we will move on together or separately. Any suggestions? I still love her more than anything but if I can't give her enough of a marriage as an Aspie I'd rather see her happy...



Adventus
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 264

19 Sep 2012, 3:27 pm

Couple Counseling! Therapy for both of you. Time.

These are the things that will help. It will take a lot of time and patience on both sides. do not let AS get in the way of a great relationship.

I got diagnosed about 5 years ago and my wife and I went counseling together afterwards and now our relationship is stronger than ever. AND the envy of her coworkers. :D



Jhb44
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

19 Sep 2012, 3:31 pm

I've suggested couples counseling (We're both in counseling already) but she wants a firmer diagnosis, even though she admits she's not sure what difference it will make



Blammo
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 217
Location: Chico, California

21 Sep 2012, 10:19 pm

Honestly, it sounds like her mind is almost made up. I fear she may see you as defective rather than just wired up differently.

I would STRONGLY suggest couples counselling if you want to save this thing.


_________________
Since everyone else has this on their signatures.. might as well conform:

Your Aspie score: 121 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200 You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits