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eric76
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09 Oct 2012, 4:11 am

Keep in mind that some people try to make you feel like you are selfish and to make you feel very guilty about it if they want you to give them something that is yours.

My mother died last year and left me a life estate to live in the family house. It's really a big house, much bigger than I need, but I do need a place to live. I have been living in my office and that isn't much fun.

One of my nephews wants to move in and is trying everything he can to make me feel guilty about living in that big house by myself so that he can move in instead. I'm really getting pissed off now because he has his kids working on me as well.



Dillogic
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09 Oct 2012, 4:27 am

No idea



katwithhat
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09 Oct 2012, 6:04 am

Selfish? Yes. I want people to accommodate my needs because some of my needs are exactly that, NEEDS. Manipulative? I can be. I feel really guilty if I lie or deceive anyone though. Then it "eats" me up inside until I stop manipulating or tell the truth.


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Loenwolph
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09 Oct 2012, 3:43 pm

Is it being Manipulative if you are acting normal? Because you are doing something not natural to you to get them to respond in a certain way



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09 Oct 2012, 7:14 pm

Chronos wrote:
KevinLA wrote:
Is this an AS trait?

Embarrassed to say I used to be.


I think many people with AS are often accused of being selfish and manipulative but I don't think they actually are. Being manipulative actually requires a good understanding of the thought processes of others, and a level of theory of mind that many with AS, especially children with AS, may lack to some extent.

As far as being selfish, everyone has needs. The difference between someone with AS and an NT is that, the NT can usually effectively communicate their boundaries and needs to others, and others can empathize with those needs, while people with AS often struggle to communicate their needs and boundaries, and NTs often have a difficult time empathizing with the needs of someone with AS.

For example, most NTs can understand someone needing coffee in the morning but they can't understand someone not being able to wear clothing that they themselves wear regularly.

Sometimes, though, people with Autism are selfish. It can take awhile to learn other people have feelings.