Why is it so hard to say the words that are in your head?

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Mirror21
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09 Oct 2012, 4:46 pm

I think I can relate. In my case I cannot seem to be able to formulate words and accompany them with tone in an effective way. I usually sound complainy or bored or overly disinterested. My problem is putting sentences in an order that will convey what I WANT effectively and thus I end up annoying people a great deal I am most comfortable talking about something than WITH someone.

To me a conversation is an exchange of data, otherwise it is not only difficult but it feels pointless. This makes keeping a conversation going pointless. If I am not interested in YOUR data, it is hard for me to hide it, or give it an ear, so to speak.



tensionheadache
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10 Oct 2012, 2:37 pm

I have this problem but I think for me it is mainly anxiety related. a fear that what sounds good in my head will not sound good out loud, or that what I say will offend someone or start an argument or make people laugh at me or think I am dumb. this problem is mainly in expressing my opinions of things. often it is because I don't have an opinion, but I also don't like to say that I like something or don't like something in case someone disagrees with me and makes me feel like I am wrong. I know that I probably don't have anything to worry about most of the time but the fear still stops me. often I will think of an excellent topic and word it out perfectly and then when it is time to say it, I just won't. I also simply have problems talking about things I am not interested in, so most conversations fizzle out after a couple of sentences.



Nibs91
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10 Oct 2012, 7:45 pm

I have this issue and it's a daily occurrence. I have trouble articulating most things I try to say. No matter how simple or complex a sentence or word, there's always a 70% chance that it will not come out as perfectly as it sounded in my head. I even have trouble saying people's names. I'll know their name and how to say it, but for some reason it comes out all awkward and weird. Sometimes I even say a completely different name even though I know what their name is.
Telling a story is literally impossible for me. 8O I sound like a 4 year old speaking when I try to tell a story or an experience or something like that. Anytime I'm asked if I watched a particular movie I always say no even if I did because I know that if I say yes I will haveto explain the movie.
A lot of times I just end up lying and making something up (completely unintentional) because my mouth does not want to cooperate.

What's funny is that I just received 2 emails from my professors today saying that the assignments and papers I wrote were excellent. Now why can't I just speak like that?



emimeni
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10 Oct 2012, 8:44 pm

I feel like there's several layers of translation between my thoughts and the words to describe them. There's several less layers when I type or write instead of talk, but there's still a few.

A lot of times, I wish I had a communication device. I mean, I'm physically able to speak very clearly, but I can communicate more efficiently through typing.


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conundrum
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10 Oct 2012, 9:54 pm

tensionheadache wrote:
I have this problem but I think for me it is mainly anxiety related. a fear that what sounds good in my head will not sound good out loud, or that what I say will offend someone or start an argument or make people laugh at me or think I am dumb. this problem is mainly in expressing my opinions of things. often it is because I don't have an opinion, but I also don't like to say that I like something or don't like something in case someone disagrees with me and makes me feel like I am wrong. I know that I probably don't have anything to worry about most of the time but the fear still stops me. often I will think of an excellent topic and word it out perfectly and then when it is time to say it, I just won't. I also simply have problems talking about things I am not interested in, so most conversations fizzle out after a couple of sentences.


This, when I am meeting someone for the first time who I do want to make a decent impression on. Usually, this is someone who is important to a friend of mine--for example, last week I met the new girlfriend of one of my male friends. For his sake mainly, I didn't want to come off looking like a jerk who talks too much or says the wrong thing.

I actually texted him later and said "I hope I didn't say too much/the wrong thing" because with his last girlfriend, it was instant dislike on her part (not due to jealousy, btw--he's like my brother). Granted, she turned out to be...nuts, but still....He told me "You did great" which was a huge relief.


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Mindsigh
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11 Oct 2012, 8:58 am

chris5000 wrote:
I have this problem, like I know what what I want to say but as soon as I want to say it I forget what I wanted to say, or it comes out all wrong. like I know what I want to say in my mind but it all comes out wrong.


That is what it's like for me. It's like when I open my mouth, my mind goes blank.


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b9
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11 Oct 2012, 9:17 am

Quote:
Why is it so hard to say the words that are in your head?

ask an oyster.



gretchyn
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11 Oct 2012, 2:04 pm

I also have this problem, especially when talking to my husband. I know it will come out wrong, or I'll use the wrong intonation, or he'll misinterpret it...so I just stay quiet. Then he gets mad at me for not saying anything. :? Damned if I do, damned if I don't.



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11 Oct 2012, 3:46 pm

Conversations in mind: Great.
Conversations for real: Crap.

I could think about stuff to say for 2 hours or not at all, and the result would still be the same (except with alcohol).
Things I want to say when I have the chance to doesn't happen most of the time.



jetbuilder
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11 Oct 2012, 6:58 pm

emimeni wrote:
I feel like there's several layers of translation between my thoughts and the words to describe them. There's several less layers when I type or write instead of talk, but there's still a few.

A lot of times, I wish I had a communication device. I mean, I'm physically able to speak very clearly, but I can communicate more efficiently through typing.


This describes me perfectly! It's exactly how I feel.
It's frustrating! I want to be able to join in on conversations, but I can't keep up with what is being said while trying to figure out what I want to say too.


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Rorberyllium
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11 Oct 2012, 7:55 pm

When this happens I just switch to communicating over text. Really sucks when I can't though.



emimeni
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11 Oct 2012, 11:26 pm

Rorberyllium wrote:
When this happens I just switch to communicating over text. Really sucks when I can't though.


Mind telling us how you communicate by text? Writing? Email/IM? Communication device?


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katwithhat
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13 Oct 2012, 6:05 am

BottleCap wrote:
Conversations in mind: Great.
Conversations for real: Crap.


My world would be awesome if the conversations in my head came out exactly like the ones I've rehearsed. Blah!


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YellowBanana
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13 Oct 2012, 6:33 am

Rorberyllium wrote:
When this happens I just switch to communicating over text. Really sucks when I can't though.


^^^ This


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b9
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13 Oct 2012, 7:41 am

Quote:
Why is it so hard to say the words that are in your head?

because they are all made of concrete.



MusicMama
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13 Oct 2012, 7:48 am

I have no idea, but I have the same problem. Writing things out is much easier and usually turns out much better.

I can sit there and think of a sentence - or even a short phrase - over and over again in my mind, but be unable to say it. Or, if I actually do manage to say it, it apparently doesn't make any sense to others and people start asking for more clarifications that I can't verbalize either and that usually effectively shuts down the conversation.

Generally it happens if I try to actually verbalize feelings. I've just gotten to the point where I can recognize what emotion-type feelings I'm feeling (other than whether they feel good or bad) and put words to them in my head, but actually *saying* them just doesn't seem to happen or work out well if it does happen.