I've had two people reject my AS diagnosis...

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outofplace
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10 Oct 2012, 2:10 am

You have an official Dx, therefore I think it is safe to say you have it. I have asked others their opinion to try and gauge if my suspicions are correct and have had responses from "Definitely! it's like you are from a different planet!" to "no, you're just quiet" (from people who don't know me well), to "You don't have Asperger's, you're just an a**hole!". The person who made the later comment though seems to have come around to my point of view now.

The point is that opinions are like bellybuttons: almost everyone has one. Just because someone says something doesn't mean their opinion has any weight behind it. I would also be careful about who you tell. Keep it to as small a group of people as you feel is necessary because most people really have no idea what it means to be autistic spectrum. They see extreme examples represented in the media and think that to be autistic spectrum you need to be completely disconnected from reality, non-verbal and completely incapable of taking care of yourself or caring about the needs and feelings of others. Thus, anyone they see who does not fit this stereotype can't be autistic in their eyes. Most don't want to be educated either. NT's typically do not value knowledge for it's own sake and so they will tune you out when you try to explain it to them.


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10 Oct 2012, 2:38 am

analyser23 wrote:
The question I ask these people is:

"Do you know what Asperger's is?"

Then see how much they truly do know about it. Once you realise they basically know bugger all, then you won't feel so bad, and they will realise they have no position to comment.

If they DO know a lot about it, then ask them how well do they know YOU? Are they with you 24/7? Are they inside your head?

Once again, once you and they realise how poorly they answer this question, all will be resolved generally.

Finally, ask them if they are a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist who works with adults with Asperger's?

No again?

End of discussion.


I concur. The best thing to do is to start off with the question: do you know what Asperger's is?

This can give you a way to judge how to explain it.
If they seem to know a lot (i.e., they have a child with it, or a close relative, or just happen to know) then you're ok with giving the details. If they don't know much at all, only keep going if you are prepared to explain A LOT.

But if they know some, be REALLY careful. These are the most dangerous because they think they know enough to have an opinion about you, and it's usually wrong.

Just my experience.



AnotherKind
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10 Oct 2012, 3:22 am

The truth is that Asperger's could be over diagnosed. There are a bunch of disorders or personality disorders with the same symptoms which could be very misleading even for the doctors. But in the same time it is frustrating when there could be a little possiblity of everything yet people think they know it all. I would trust such stuff only if after years when some accurate and complex procedures of diagnosis would be elaborated. Till then - i'm sorry - we can only speculate.



Raziel
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10 Oct 2012, 4:38 am

AnotherKind wrote:
The truth is that Asperger's could be over diagnosed. There are a bunch of disorders or personality disorders with the same symptoms which could be very misleading even for the doctors. But in the same time it is frustrating when there could be a little possiblity of everything yet people think they know it all. I would trust such stuff only if after years when some accurate and complex procedures of diagnosis would be elaborated. Till then - i'm sorry - we can only speculate.


I don't see it that extreme.
I believe if someone is on the higher end of the spectrum, can compensate very well, didn't have a "typical childhood" or just has autistic tendencies it can be very difficult to tell or even impossible.

I believe that ASD is one of those disorders who can get dx very accurate -if the shrink has experience in it- because of it's complexity and especially with a typicall childhood you can be highly sure.

But in some cases, especially on the higher end of the spectrum, this isn't always possible to tell.
But nevertheless I still don't think that ASD is overdx. A lot of shrinks still have no real clue about it and are still very textbook about it and think when you can look others in the eye you can't be autistic and so on. Many ppl with ASD still need to go to autismspecialists to get dx, because "normal" shrinks can't tell very often. So there might be some missdx and some shrinks that overdx, but I still strongly believe that ASD is underdx and when you dx carefully you can tell very accurate in a lot of cases.


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KnarlyDUDE09
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10 Oct 2012, 5:08 am

AnotherKind wrote:
The truth is that Asperger's could be over diagnosed. There are a bunch of disorders or personality disorders with the same symptoms which could be very misleading even for the doctors. But in the same time it is frustrating when there could be a little possiblity of everything yet people think they know it all. I would trust such stuff only if after years when some accurate and complex procedures of diagnosis would be elaborated. Till then - i'm sorry - we can only speculate.
I believe I was diagnosed correctly as my developmental history aswell as my life now indicated it, however I do understand what you are saying.


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AnotherKind
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10 Oct 2012, 5:12 am

I don't say I see things that extreme just that it could be so because many symptoms related to other disorders are very similar to aspergers. Someone should have a microscopic mind to give an accurate diagnosis. And I've seen many people diagnosed with aspergers that behave very NT yet they are diagnosed... then I'm wondering based on what they gave such diagnosis: on the stories they have heard? on their first impression? It is hard to understand.

KnarlyDUDE09 wrote:
I believe I was diagnosed correctly as my developmental history aswell as my life now indicated it, however I do understand what you are saying.

I'm not saying anything about you because I don't know you personally, i'm talking about those who seem neurotypical yet they are diagnosed.



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10 Oct 2012, 5:17 am

AnotherKind wrote:
I don't say I see things that extreme just that it could be so because many symptoms related to other disorders are very similar to aspergers. Someone should have a microscopic mind to give an accurate diagnosis. And I've seen many people diagnosed with aspergers that behave very NT yet they are diagnosed... then I'm wondering based on what they gave such diagnosis: on the stories they have heard? on their first impression? It is hard to understand.

KnarlyDUDE09 wrote:
I believe I was diagnosed correctly as my developmental history aswell as my life now indicated it, however I do understand what you are saying.

I'm not saying anything about you because I don't know you personally, i'm talking about those who seem neurotypical yet they are diagnosed.
Ok. :)


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10 Oct 2012, 5:20 am

KnarlyDUDE09 wrote:
Ok. :)

And I do also understand your concern because I've been going through the same situation.



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10 Oct 2012, 5:22 am

The problem is diagnosis is reliant on the honesty of the patient, if your able to look someone in the eye. Won't mention stimming or other embarrassing habits than it's very easy to skip under diagnosis.

Anyhow I've come to the realization that Aspergers aside from being a test in it's self, ... if you can say it without cringing you've got it :lol:

The word ignores the spectrum aspect of Autism.

I think it is a lot similar to a word like ret*d. It denotes a traits and not the disorder.

When I tell people I have it, I say I have a benign form of emotional autism. I lack an ability to gauge emotions. When I explain it like that, ignorant folk stare blankly, the open minded are curious and usually ask questions.

People seem to get it when you make it appear to be something, that is more a personality trait, than a mental illness, WHICH IT IS 8)

Sure your leaving out all your troubles in you childhoods by saying that, but maybe sometimes we should. The term AS is just to revealing, at some point we have a right to not have every personal detail of our lives exposed in one term.

Alot of victims of abuse say they have trust issues. No one believes that this should be out in the open. Which is why people often stick to saying they have "trust issues". To the ignorant it means just that, but for the caring person it's possible to read between the lines.



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10 Oct 2012, 5:52 am

AnotherKind wrote:
And I've seen many people diagnosed with aspergers that behave very NT yet they are diagnosed... then I'm wondering based on what they gave such diagnosis: on the stories they have heard? on their first impression? It is hard to understand.


I give you an example of a person like this. Myself:
I had a very typical autistic childhood. I didn't talked, I needed my routines, you had to tell me an half hour befor you could leave the house with me, I had many sensory issues and litteraly got sick after to many ppl visiting I didn't know. I first was supposed to go to a school for mentally retarted, but I started talking befor school started, so I was lucky, I could go to a normal school, after my parents fighted for it. In elementry school I had trouble understanding what was going on, because of my sensory issues and my dyslexia, I also seemed to be in my "own little world", staring out of the window in class. But with therapy because of my dyslexia and so on I could stay in a normal elementry school. Until I was 12 years old I didn't know how others knew when I was sad, of course they could see the emotion in my face, but in never appeared to me. My mother wasn't sure until that age, if I'm a bit mentally retarted or what was going on, but she noticed that I have some special knowledge. The only reason I had friends as a child was, because my mother envited other children over. Even after I started talking, I stayed highly mutistic.

Now, with 28, I still have sensory issues, and routines and all that, but socially most people don't notice it anymore at first sight, when they don't know.


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10 Oct 2012, 6:41 am

I've had someone reject my diagnosis. Her reason being because I coped up until then. Surely, if I could cope, I wouldn't have even considered asking for a diagnosis? I'm sure many of us hide it too.

Friends were much better. I had one say he wasn't surprised at all (I am not shocked by his reaction - he has mentioned twice that he thinks I have it) and did have someone say I should PM her if I need help - she works for National Autistic Society.

A friend say that when she told her friends her diagnosis, one said "I always knew you were weird". Charming!



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10 Oct 2012, 8:33 am

Raziel wrote:
I give you an example of a person like this. Myself:
I had a very typical autistic childhood. I didn't talked, I needed my routines, you had to tell me an half hour befor you could leave the house with me, I had many sensory issues and litteraly got sick after to many ppl visiting I didn't know. I first was supposed to go to a school for mentally retarted, but I started talking befor school started, so I was lucky, I could go to a normal school, after my parents fighted for it. In elementry school I had trouble understanding what was going on, because of my sensory issues and my dyslexia, I also seemed to be in my "own little world", staring out of the window in class. But with therapy because of my dyslexia and so on I could stay in a normal elementry school. Until I was 12 years old I didn't know how others knew when I was sad, of course they could see the emotion in my face, but in never appeared to me. My mother wasn't sure until that age, if I'm a bit mentally retarted or what was going on, but she noticed that I have some special knowledge. The only reason I had friends as a child was, because my mother envited other children over. Even after I started talking, I stayed highly mutistic.

Now, with 28, I still have sensory issues, and routines and all that, but socially most people don't notice it anymore at first sight, when they don't know.


Thanks for the reply. However, i was thinking about those who didn't experienced language delay (which is more common in HFA than aspergers though) and can function as good as many neurotypicals (are well integrated, can make eye contact, enjoy small talk, etc.) yet many 'specialists' give them this diagnosis. I've read many of such cases on this forum and I know some cases in real life also. Now anybody who is a bit shy, awkward, nerdy, eccentric or has any other issues could come off as having Asperger syndrome. I can't tolerate such things. And I've found many statistics with the percentages of people who have aspergers and there are huge differences between them. It looks like some aren't honest at all.



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10 Oct 2012, 9:11 am

AnotherKind wrote:
and can function as good as many neurotypicals (are well integrated, can make eye contact, enjoy small talk, etc.) yet many 'specialists' give them this diagnosis.


Okay, maybe they have tendencies in many cases?

- I can also make eye contact, just when I'm drunk, overloaded, scared or too much into a topic I forget it, can't hold it.
- I do some small talk, sometimes I even like to talk about topics that are considered as small talk, but I have problems with listening when someone else tells me their small talk. But I would still clearly say I'm able to a certain degree of small talk.
- I'm not that well integrated, but that's also because I don't want to or just upto a certain degree and propably also because of my issues with my overload, especcially auditive and because of my depressions. Also I'm interessted in some people and can talk to them, with many others I just don't find a connection.

I just think it's a spectrum.
If there is really no difference between a person and a NT, than the person is NT, but sometimes the problems just can be minor, but in those cases it would be more correct to talk about tendencies, than about autism.


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10 Oct 2012, 10:53 am

AnotherKind wrote:
Thanks for the reply. However, i was thinking about those who didn't experienced language delay (which is more common in HFA than aspergers though) and can function as good as many neurotypicals (are well integrated, can make eye contact, enjoy small talk, etc.) yet many 'specialists' give them this diagnosis. I've read many of such cases on this forum and I know some cases in real life also. Now anybody who is a bit shy, awkward, nerdy, eccentric or has any other issues could come off as having Asperger syndrome. I can't tolerate such things. And I've found many statistics with the percentages of people who have aspergers and there are huge differences between them. It looks like some aren't honest at all.


Sorry, but being able to make eye contact or enjoying "small talk" is NOT in the criteria for diagnosing, or not diagnosing, an ASD.

And it's an opinion whether or not someone is "well-integrated."

I was diagnosed by the DSM-IV because I meet the DSM-IV criteria. I also meet the DSM-V criteria. I also can make eye contact and occasionally enjoy "small talk."


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10 Oct 2012, 12:11 pm

I don't want to argue with anybody, I just told my opinion whether you dislike it or not. And I think that for a diagnosis to be precise someone should watch you closely for determining whether you're different and therefore behave different or are normal and just act different in certain circumstances. And doctors can't predict that, they just determine based on the information they receive whether you have some issues or not. I'm not saying that all of you were misdiagnosed just that I doubt that in some rare occasions can't be a little misunderstanding somewhere. Until there are some obvious signs that can't be ignored. That's another story.



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10 Oct 2012, 5:02 pm

AnotherKind wrote:
I don't want to argue with anybody, I just told my opinion whether you dislike it or not.


Your opinion could be that the sun is made out of a giant blob of purple unicorn poop, but, as you are entitled to your own opinion, you are not entitled to your own facts.

"Eye contact" and ability to make "small talk" are not, and never have been, defining characteristics of ASDs. That's not an "opinion," that's based on the actual criteria that doctors use to diagnose people.

Quote:
And I think that for a diagnosis to be precise someone should watch you closely for determining whether you're different and therefore behave different or are normal and just act different in certain circumstances.


.....which wouldn't be precise at all since people behave differently when they know they are being observed.

Not to mention that most medical professionals don't have a team of professional ninja stalkers on hand to follow and observe every patient suspected of having an ASD.


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