My Autism Story from severe to very mild Autism (My Life)

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Callista
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15 Oct 2012, 2:27 pm

outofplace wrote:
Sorry to tell you this, but you will never become neurotypical. Temple Grandin is NOT neurotypical either. She is a well adapted autistic person. Autism is a neurological difference and is life long. This doesn't mean you can't adapt to it, but you will arrive at many things from a different perspective than an NT. For them, it is intuitive. For someone on the spectrum, it is arrived at after thought and consideration.

Also, as far as it goes, someone with ADHD is not neurotypical either. It's a different kind of neurological difference than autism, but it is still a fundamental difference. People with ADHD can adapt well too, but they still have life long differences as well.

(Sorry for being pedantic, but I felt it had to be said.)
I agree it has to be said. But it's important to remember that being autistic is not a bad thing. Growing up autistic, you often have lots of people telling you (either straight out or by implication) that autistic equals bad and wrong, and neurotypical is your goal. That often leads to burnout. In the case of regressive autism, burnout can lead to regression. What you should be aiming for is to become more skilled; to learn to live in your world, on your own terms--to become a "well adapted autistic person", not a neurotic imitation of a neurotypical.

I do congratulate you, OP, on all you've learned. It's not easy--we all know that. I would just like to caution you against thinking of neurotypical behavior or thinking styles as innately superior, especially when it comes to your use of them to deal with this crazy, chaotic, non-autistic-friendly world.


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Aquais94
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15 Oct 2012, 6:04 pm

Callista wrote:
outofplace wrote:
Sorry to tell you this, but you will never become neurotypical. Temple Grandin is NOT neurotypical either. She is a well adapted autistic person. Autism is a neurological difference and is life long. This doesn't mean you can't adapt to it, but you will arrive at many things from a different perspective than an NT. For them, it is intuitive. For someone on the spectrum, it is arrived at after thought and consideration.

Also, as far as it goes, someone with ADHD is not neurotypical either. It's a different kind of neurological difference than autism, but it is still a fundamental difference. People with ADHD can adapt well too, but they still have life long differences as well.

(Sorry for being pedantic, but I felt it had to be said.)
I agree it has to be said. But it's important to remember that being autistic is not a bad thing. Growing up autistic, you often have lots of people telling you (either straight out or by implication) that autistic equals bad and wrong, and neurotypical is your goal. That often leads to burnout. In the case of regressive autism, burnout can lead to regression. What you should be aiming for is to become more skilled; to learn to live in your world, on your own terms--to become a "well adapted autistic person", not a neurotic imitation of a neurotypical.

I do congratulate you, OP, on all you've learned. It's not easy--we all know that. I would just like to caution you against thinking of neurotypical behavior or thinking styles as innately superior, especially when it comes to your use of them to deal with this crazy, chaotic, non-autistic-friendly world.


Like Thinking Neurotypical Behaviors can lead to burnout and Regression, It's just like the Autistic Cycle. It's that true?



Aquais94
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15 Oct 2012, 6:15 pm

I Think my memory i wrote to flashback, i think i had a burnout a month ago. Even Hypochondriac. Please help.



Aquais94
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15 Oct 2012, 8:03 pm

I Found out, My mother told me I am not regressive, my doctor told me, "It will never going to happen again." it was a mistake. but i edited the story.



Callista
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16 Oct 2012, 1:24 pm

The burnout/regression thing I'm talking about is what happens when you just get tired. It's not dramatic like the skill loss you see in CDD; it's more like you just can't keep up with the pace you've been setting for yourself, so you drop some things. You stop working as hard. For me, it leads to depression.

I know some people have to actually re-learn skills that they drop during those periods, but for most people, it's not like that; I can access those skills again when I'm no longer so overwhelmed.

If your doctor and your mom both say that you're unlikely to have another regression, you can probably believe them when they say it. You might get burned out and not be able to use your most difficult-to-use skills; but if you're not prone to actually losing skills, you won't lose them altogether. It's kind of like being physically tired, so that you can't run very fast or lift very much weight; only it's your mind that's tired.

Burnout is a bad thing, naturally. But it's not something frightening, per se; it's more like you're just tired because you've been doing too much for too long. It's why we have to learn how to work hard enough to get things done, without working so hard that we exhaust ourselves.


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Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 2:24 pm

Callista wrote:
The burnout/regression thing I'm talking about is what happens when you just get tired. It's not dramatic like the skill loss you see in CDD; it's more like you just can't keep up with the pace you've been setting for yourself, so you drop some things. You stop working as hard. For me, it leads to depression.

I know some people have to actually re-learn skills that they drop during those periods, but for most people, it's not like that; I can access those skills again when I'm no longer so overwhelmed.

If your doctor and your mom both say that you're unlikely to have another regression, you can probably believe them when they say it. You might get burned out and not be able to use your most difficult-to-use skills; but if you're not prone to actually losing skills, you won't lose them altogether. It's kind of like being physically tired, so that you can't run very fast or lift very much weight; only it's your mind that's tired.

Burnout is a bad thing, naturally. But it's not something frightening, per se; it's more like you're just tired because you've been doing too much for too long. It's why we have to learn how to work hard enough to get things done, without working so hard that we exhaust ourselves.

thanks, i have a question: Could i loose my English, or just creative skills? because last night, i couldn't sleep, because I looked at your reply about burnout can lead to regression, that made me so anxious that i cannot sleep. Does this happens to neurotypical people also, like just loose few skills. Because i enjoyed being genius, i always get a 90% in School Work, the other words You've saved my life. 2 years ago, i had a burnout, and lost just a little skills. even my sentences, and my Speech, but i'll try and hard not to loose some skills, also my brain can speak to me with his own voice, but during the burnout, i get messed up.



Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 4:04 pm

My type of autism is PDD-NOS.



LennytheWicked
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16 Oct 2012, 4:57 pm

Aquais94 wrote:
Callista wrote:
The burnout/regression thing I'm talking about is what happens when you just get tired. It's not dramatic like the skill loss you see in CDD; it's more like you just can't keep up with the pace you've been setting for yourself, so you drop some things. You stop working as hard. For me, it leads to depression.

I know some people have to actually re-learn skills that they drop during those periods, but for most people, it's not like that; I can access those skills again when I'm no longer so overwhelmed.

If your doctor and your mom both say that you're unlikely to have another regression, you can probably believe them when they say it. You might get burned out and not be able to use your most difficult-to-use skills; but if you're not prone to actually losing skills, you won't lose them altogether. It's kind of like being physically tired, so that you can't run very fast or lift very much weight; only it's your mind that's tired.

Burnout is a bad thing, naturally. But it's not something frightening, per se; it's more like you're just tired because you've been doing too much for too long. It's why we have to learn how to work hard enough to get things done, without working so hard that we exhaust ourselves.

thanks, i have a question: Could i loose my English, or just creative skills? because last night, i couldn't sleep, because I looked at your reply about burnout can lead to regression, that made me so anxious that i cannot sleep. Does this happens to neurotypical people also, like just loose few skills. Because i enjoyed being genius, i always get a 90% in School Work, the other words You've saved my life. 2 years ago, i had a burnout, and lost just a little skills. even my sentences, and my Speech, but i'll try and hard not to loose some skills, also my brain can speak to me with his own voice, but during the burnout, i get messed up.

When he said regression, I think he meant more along the lines of stimming, involuntary noises, etc... You're not going to lose all of your speech.

I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.

My little brother also regressed after he was removed from public school, and his was more behavioral. He didn't lose his ability to speak, though for a long time he made no progress.

The worst that will happen to your creative skills is typical of depression patients; it'll come back eventually if it does go. [It's called writer's block, artist's block, etc...]



Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 4:59 pm

I'm trying not to do self-injury. I am good at control.



Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 5:07 pm

LennytheWicked wrote:
Aquais94 wrote:
Callista wrote:
The burnout/regression thing I'm talking about is what happens when you just get tired. It's not dramatic like the skill loss you see in CDD; it's more like you just can't keep up with the pace you've been setting for yourself, so you drop some things. You stop working as hard. For me, it leads to depression.

I know some people have to actually re-learn skills that they drop during those periods, but for most people, it's not like that; I can access those skills again when I'm no longer so overwhelmed.

If your doctor and your mom both say that you're unlikely to have another regression, you can probably believe them when they say it. You might get burned out and not be able to use your most difficult-to-use skills; but if you're not prone to actually losing skills, you won't lose them altogether. It's kind of like being physically tired, so that you can't run very fast or lift very much weight; only it's your mind that's tired.

Burnout is a bad thing, naturally. But it's not something frightening, per se; it's more like you're just tired because you've been doing too much for too long. It's why we have to learn how to work hard enough to get things done, without working so hard that we exhaust ourselves.

thanks, i have a question: Could i loose my English, or just creative skills? because last night, i couldn't sleep, because I looked at your reply about burnout can lead to regression, that made me so anxious that i cannot sleep. Does this happens to neurotypical people also, like just loose few skills. Because i enjoyed being genius, i always get a 90% in School Work, the other words You've saved my life. 2 years ago, i had a burnout, and lost just a little skills. even my sentences, and my Speech, but i'll try and hard not to loose some skills, also my brain can speak to me with his own voice, but during the burnout, i get messed up.

When he said regression, I think he meant more along the lines of stimming, involuntary noises, etc... You're not going to lose all of your speech.

I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.

My little brother also regressed after he was removed from public school, and his was more behavioral. He didn't lose his ability to speak, though for a long time he made no progress.

The worst that will happen to your creative skills is typical of depression patients; it'll come back eventually if it does go. [It's called writer's block, artist's block, etc...]


I did self-injury when i was little, i even sucking my skin, and i used to hit my head when i got hurt.



Callista
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16 Oct 2012, 5:09 pm

Yeah, it's usually good to avoid self-injury. People really over-react to it; they worry much more than they should. And, of course, there's the risk of scars and such.

Quote:
I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.
Middle school is harder than elementary--more chaotic, you have to do more for yourself, you have to think harder. Are there stims that help you but don't cause injury? Could you, say, chew something other than your wrist, or squish a stress ball? Are there parts of school that are stressful for you, that you could avoid?

Autism is harder to handle when your environment is more chaotic, crowded, messy, or unpredictable; so you start to get stressed and you start to stim. By the way, there's nothing wrong with stimming: It's a natural thing we do when we're working hard, or stressed out, or happy, or energetic, or just sitting and thinking. I can do schoolwork better when I'm rocking or jiggling my legs; it seems to help me think. It can annoy other people, or in the case of stims like chewing on your skin or banging your head, it can cause injury; but just by itself, stimming isn't damaging. If you need to move in a certain way to be able to think properly, deal with your environment, or cope with stress, then there shouldn't be a problem with your doing that. You're autistic; that's natural for you. When one of your stims is harmful or annoying, you can try to re-direct it to a stim that helps in the same way without hurting you or annoying others.

I started rocking around the age of nineteen, by the way. I had done it as a young child, but was always told to "stop fidgeting", and eventually stopped. After I finally found out I was autistic, I tried it and found how natural it felt and how much better I could think when I did. So, it is not unusual for people to pick up stims as they get older. I think I probably look more autistic now than I used to as a teenager, because I'm allowing myself to do those things that come naturally to me--but I'm also more independent, more confident, more skilled. Some people look quite autistic to the casual observer, but are highly skilled and perhaps even totally independent. Appearances can be deceptive.

Listen to your own mind and body--what feels natural to you; what helps you think and learn and do useful things; what keeps you from injury and stress. If you have questions, ask your parents or your doctor--make sure that when they make decisions about you, you're in on it and they're listening to you. It's okay to do things that don't look "normal". Some people might not like it, but I've learned that those people are wrong. Everybody is not made to be all the same. Autistic people are supposed to be different; and different is okay. When somebody gives me trouble about it, I ignore them.


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Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 5:13 pm

Callista wrote:
Yeah, it's usually good to avoid self-injury. People really over-react to it; they worry much more than they should. And, of course, there's the risk of scars and such.

Quote:
I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.
Middle school is harder than elementary--more chaotic, you have to do more for yourself, you have to think harder. Are there stims that help you but don't cause injury? Could you, say, chew something other than your wrist, or squish a stress ball? Are there parts of school that are stressful for you, that you could avoid?

Autism is harder to handle when your environment is more chaotic, crowded, messy, or unpredictable; so you start to get stressed and you start to stim. By the way, there's nothing wrong with stimming: It's a natural thing we do when we're working hard, or stressed out, or happy, or energetic, or just sitting and thinking. I can do schoolwork better when I'm rocking or jiggling my legs; it seems to help me think. It can annoy other people, or in the case of stims like chewing on your skin or banging your head, it can cause injury; but just by itself, stimming isn't damaging. If you need to move in a certain way to be able to think properly, deal with your environment, or cope with stress, then there shouldn't be a problem with your doing that. You're autistic; that's natural for you. When one of your stims is harmful or annoying, you can try to re-direct it to a stim that helps in the same way without hurting you or annoying others.

I started rocking around the age of nineteen, by the way. I had done it as a young child, but was always told to "stop fidgeting", and eventually stopped. After I finally found out I was autistic, I tried it and found how natural it felt and how much better I could think when I did. So, it is not unusual for people to pick up stims as they get older. I think I probably look more autistic now than I used to as a teenager, because I'm allowing myself to do those things that come naturally to me--but I'm also more independent, more confident, more skilled. Some people look quite autistic to the casual observer, but are highly skilled and perhaps even totally independent. Appearances can be deceptive.

Listen to your own mind and body--what feels natural to you; what helps you think and learn and do useful things; what keeps you from injury and stress. If you have questions, ask your parents or your doctor--make sure that when they make decisions about you, you're in on it and they're listening to you. It's okay to do things that don't look "normal". Some people might not like it, but I've learned that those people are wrong. Everybody is not made to be all the same. Autistic people are supposed to be different; and different is okay. When somebody gives me trouble about it, I ignore them.


The only stim i do is i tap my foot, but quietly. like touching on the floor and move your foot up and down.



LennytheWicked
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16 Oct 2012, 5:17 pm

Callista wrote:
Yeah, it's usually good to avoid self-injury. People really over-react to it; they worry much more than they should. And, of course, there's the risk of scars and such.

Quote:
I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.
Middle school is harder than elementary--more chaotic, you have to do more for yourself, you have to think harder. Are there stims that help you but don't cause injury? Could you, say, chew something other than your wrist, or squish a stress ball? Are there parts of school that are stressful for you, that you could avoid?

That would require me dropping out of school.

It's not the motion, it's the actual sensation of pain. I've used stressballs, and they don't help. I've tried chewing gum, but I developed a TMJ and had to swear off of it.

I'm also aware that the stimming isn't damaging, but it does intensify with regression.



Aquais94
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16 Oct 2012, 5:20 pm

LennytheWicked wrote:
Callista wrote:
Yeah, it's usually good to avoid self-injury. People really over-react to it; they worry much more than they should. And, of course, there's the risk of scars and such.

Quote:
I've regressed since I started middle school. I actually didn't used to stim when I was younger. Now I sometimes bang my head or chew my wrist when I get upset, and I can control it but I don't want to because it helps me calm down.
Middle school is harder than elementary--more chaotic, you have to do more for yourself, you have to think harder. Are there stims that help you but don't cause injury? Could you, say, chew something other than your wrist, or squish a stress ball? Are there parts of school that are stressful for you, that you could avoid?

That would require me dropping out of school.

It's not the motion, it's the actual sensation of pain. I've used stressballs, and they don't help. I've tried chewing gum, but I developed a TMJ and had to swear off of it.

I'm also aware that the stimming isn't damaging, but it does intensify with regression.


I'm Kinda very Smart Person with the IQ Level was scored around 108 - 125
Which i am trying to recover from Autism so I can go to Australia to live and I will hide my Diagnosis.
I'm trying to burst the Autistic Bubble (Smashing the Berlin Wall). I know they smashed the Berlin Wall in 1989. But i named it as an expression.



darmarmot
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14 May 2014, 11:32 pm

I wouldn't get too hung up on IQ. If you grow up in a household with more books and people with higher vocabulary, you score better on those parts of the test if it is the typical Stanford Binet. All IQ test have their biases. Do not let that hold you back. I say that for those who feel the need to post IQ. My sister once said to me, and it is true...most of these people at this school aren't smarter, they just had parents who knew the value of a good education. They sit a person with certain quirks and sensory issues down and expect them to take the test like neurotypicals. Just as in medicine, tests have specificity and sensitivity, a study population with a limited set of characteristics, and a bias if not double blind placebo controlled. :D



CJH123
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15 May 2014, 4:54 am

Well personally I don't think you can develop AS, yes you can appear for the first couple of years to be devolving normally but I still think your born with it. Also I believe their is no way to truly become NT but we still have to ability if we try hard enough to do some but not all of the things they do, personalty I try to believe more Neurological Equality because where all Humans.

In your case however Its great that you have made big progress, but sadly their is no way to be NT you can get close but not actually be, but remember your Human as is everybody with AS or any other mental/physical disability and in the essence where all the same.