Boyfriend advice-several questions.

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Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 9:11 pm

Here's the story:

My sophomore year of high school, right after I turned 16 (September 2001), the guy that's now my boyfriend walked into my class after the bell to let us know it was time to go to the next class had rang and asked me to homecoming. I said yes, then realized I didn't know his name (I'd seen him at the homecoming dance the year before, so I'd kinda knew who he was) and ran to ask him. At the game, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. Flash forward 5 years later. I'm now 21, he's 22 and I'm not too happy with our relationship. His idea of a good date is kissing. He's also confessed to me that he's not good at communicating. My idea of a good date is spending time with someone I love, talking about different things, or just hanging out together. I've also told him what I want in a relationship. He said he'd try, but I've not seen him try. He also calls me up for a date whenever he remembers he has a girlfriend, or when it's Valentine's Day, birthdays, Sweetest Day, and Christmas. Outside of that, he doesn't call. First question is: do I break up with him?

Now, there is a guy on campus that I'd love to date. My only problem is: I don't know if he has a girlfriend. How do I a: ask him if he's got a girlfriend and b: if he doesn't, ask him out?



Starbuline
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15 Dec 2006, 9:26 pm

I think you should tell your current boyfriend about the problems. Then I think you should try to be friends with that other person before you try to get together with him.



Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 9:35 pm

I have told my boyfriend about these problems. Either he just doesn't care or he doesn't get it, or both.

As for the other guy, he and I are friends, but not close friends.



Starbuline
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15 Dec 2006, 9:37 pm

Maybe you can tell your boyfriend you'll leave him if he doesn't change that behaviour. For that other guy, could you ask one of his other friends if that guy is single?



Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 9:41 pm

I could do that. I'm meeting with my boyfriend next week, so it's doable. As for my friend, yea, I could. I know a few other people who also now him, so I could do that.



Starbuline
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15 Dec 2006, 9:45 pm

That's good. :)



Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 9:48 pm

Yep. Hopefully I'll have an answer to the question about if my one friend has a girlfriend, as I've just emailed a friend of ours.



logitechdog
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15 Dec 2006, 10:43 pm

No offence but to read this is shocking something I would expect a Nt to be doing...

This might help you to communicate with your boyfriend and also give it to him....

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html ... eness.html



Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 10:45 pm

I took a look and it's something that I've learned in my communication 200 class in college. What does Nt mean?



Starbuline
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15 Dec 2006, 10:48 pm

Medu wrote:
I took a look and it's something that I've learned in my communication 200 class in college. What does Nt mean?


NeuroTypical.



logitechdog
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15 Dec 2006, 10:51 pm

neurotypical person, well try doesn't mean that they will do it...

understanding how to negotiate if two people want different outcomes // guess this part you skipped then...

and your allready making plans behind his back so that should answer your question..

Edit 3: also read your other post hell....



Last edited by logitechdog on 15 Dec 2006, 10:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Medu
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15 Dec 2006, 10:52 pm

Ah. Makes sense now. I might be on the boarder of Nt, as when I was diagnosed with Aspies, it was said that it was only a mild diagnoses. I'm not offended at all.



SoccerFreak
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15 Dec 2006, 11:24 pm

OMG! thats just like me and Jacob, all he wants to do is makeout, hand jobs, and touching...and i dont like any of that stuff, and he knows it and he annoyingly complains when i refuse, it makes me want to slap his face off. Im like you, i just want to have a good time. I want to break up cause it's getting old, but i feel to guilty about it (we've been going out for 2 years, since 8th grade) and i dont want to end that for a dumb reason.


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krex
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15 Dec 2006, 11:47 pm

Get out of the relationship....run.You can "train" people but you can not change their basic nature.You are already looking because you know that the relationship is over,you just want to avoid the drama of ending it.It's time for you both to move on.A relationship out of "habit" is a waste of both peoples time and it's not unusual to be needing more from one,at your age.


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logitechdog
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16 Dec 2006, 1:18 am

** I feel to guilty about it **

Why feel guilty if you don't want to you don't want to no means's no - and any other lass would of slaped him or tasered him... and left don't know why you feel you should respect someone whos like that when he knows you don't want to and moans to get his own way maybe...



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16 Dec 2006, 1:50 am

Ladies.

at least the two of you who seem to be having problems.

why in your right mind are you still with these callow pompus ratbrained men? Girl number one.........you should never ave dated this guy, he ent worth your time, you need to find yourself a better guy. A guy who is there for you all the time, a guy who appreciates and remembers you always, and will buy you a flower on any random day.

Girl number two.......this guys with you just cause he wants to f--k you? That's a bloody good reason right there to break up. You my dear child need a guy who is worth while who will respect you and wait until you're ready to f--k.