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fuelred
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10 Nov 2012, 8:22 pm

A few months ago, I had a dream about a girl named Carmen. I don't remember too much about the dream. I just remember that there was a girl named Carmen, and I think we might have been in love. The thing that really made me think was the fact that my brain chose the name Carmen. I don't know anyone named Carmen, and It's not one of the first names I think of when I think of female names. The next day, I thought about it all day, and eventually, I started to imagine that she was some sort of spirit that was looking after me, and judging my actions.

Ever since, Carmen has been an imaginary friend of mine. However, she's not always the same character. Sometimes, I imagine her looking differently. Sometimes I even imagine her as an evil demon who follows me around. Sometimes, I imagine her as my autistic best friend, or my girlfriend.

Sometimes, whenever I'm thinking about doing something, I think things like, What would Carmen think of this? or What would Carmen do?

I don't talk about her, or talk to her out loud. I make sure to keep it in my head.

But is having an imaginary friend dangerous? Could it manifest into a serious problem? Is it normal? What do you think? And do you have an imaginary friend?



KaminariNoKage
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10 Nov 2012, 9:39 pm

There are good and bad parts of having an imaginary friend. If she is truly looking out for your well being, then I do not see anything wrong with it. Sometimes we need people like that in our life to help us push on, even if we have to make them up ourselves.

For example, in high school I came up with a character whom I called "Alex." While I am a writer, and he was part of an intricate plot, he developed a life of his own and was the closest thing to an imaginary friend I ever had. He was a 10 year old boy who was killed before he was ever born - and while he was supposed to exist, he did not, because no one wanted him. But he was always cheerful, he understood people's pain, and he was that positive voice of reason cheering me on whenever I was down. He was that "one friend I never had" - a drop of sunshine in a world of negativity. He grew up when I graduated and is now a lawyer helping to defend souls in the afterlife. (Ignore my awkward obsession with death)

Alternatively, there was a woman who used to haunt my dreams at night who WAS out to destroy me. And while she tried to be nice, her motives were fairly clear, and she wanted me gone. I do believe she was an actual demon to some degree. If your Carmen starts to turn into someone like this, then I would advise you to try and separate yourself from her. There are ideas "she put into my head" that I am still fighting to this day - 8 years later.



redrobin62
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10 Nov 2012, 9:55 pm

If you don't get into fights with them, they're okay.



morella
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10 Nov 2012, 10:14 pm

Personally I don't know whether imaginary friends and/or alteregos are dangerous but for me are completely essential and an important component of my being. Sometimes they help me to improve or change something wrong, and to clear up many problems or doubts. :D


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The_Postmaster
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10 Nov 2012, 11:36 pm

I think if the Crusades are any indication, imaginary friends can be very dangerous.

/controversial statement



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10 Nov 2012, 11:43 pm

I don't believe that having imaginary friends itself is inherently dangerous. It only becomes problematic if they start controlling you and/or telling you to do bad things. I've had different imaginary friends throughout my entire life. They've never caused me any problems, nor has anyone ever told me that I needed to stop. They always have been and always will be a part of who I am.



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10 Nov 2012, 11:44 pm

The_Postmaster wrote:
I think if the Crusades are any indication, imaginary friends can be very dangerous.

/obligatory "witty" atheist statement


fixed



The_Postmaster
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11 Nov 2012, 12:07 am

IdahoRose wrote:
The_Postmaster wrote:
I think if the Crusades are any indication, imaginary friends can be very dangerous.

/obligatory "witty" atheist statement


fixed


It really was obligatory though. I couldn't just let that opportunity pass me by. The question was phrased so perfectly it was as if the OP was begging for that response.



Ettina
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14 Nov 2012, 7:08 am

I'd say if she starts encouraging you to do dangerous things, that's a problem. But if the impact of Carmen is primarily positive, I don't see an issue. You may not want to talk too openly about her, though, because adults having imaginary friends is not seen in a good light by our society.



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14 Nov 2012, 4:49 pm

As long as you don't actually believe that Carmen is real and as long as she doesn't impede on your ability to function, I don't see how it is a problem. I've always wondered why it's okay for a grown adult to believe and worship ridiculous things like religion, but it's oh so socially unacceptable to be AWARE that you have an imaginary friend.



guitarman2010
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16 Nov 2012, 4:13 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I don't believe that having imaginary friends itself is inherently dangerous. It only becomes problematic if they start controlling you and/or telling you to do bad things.


I agree 100% with this post. If they ever tell you to burn things or hurt people, you might want to question if they are really a friend


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AspieOtaku
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18 Nov 2012, 10:22 pm

Only if you listen to them whenever they tell you to kill someone or yourself.


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Satanist
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18 Nov 2012, 11:51 pm

Guess I should tell my daughter to stop playing with Belladonna :roll:

That is her imaginary friend.


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20 Nov 2012, 6:38 am

I have always wanted one as a kid. Then I realised that you don´t receive imaginary friends as a gift, but you only think that there are some, while there really does not exist anything like an imaginary friend. If you have one, you are either a cute little kid or a schizophreniac. That´s my idea of it. I also think that having an imaginary friend after passing the thin line of the early childhood is potentionally dangerous and harmful for your sanity, because you are imagining something that really isn´t there.


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AspieOtaku
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23 Nov 2012, 5:01 pm

What if the imaginary friend is a demon?


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Carl_LaFong
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01 Dec 2012, 12:55 am

Not sure if this will be helpful. Robert Bly's book The Sibling Society has a few pages on imaginary companions. In chapter seven he discusses the Lofty Companion. For the most part it sounds like a healthy phase for a child or teen to go through. An "agency of aspiration." The downsides are that it can lead to isolation or perfectionism.

In hindsight I think an imaginary friend would have been good for me at that age- that is, if it or he would have helped guide me toward more awareness of my mental problems, toward caution with regard to emotions, toward basic long term smarts. In short, how to be a decent person.