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GiantHockeyFan
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28 Nov 2012, 11:01 am

Adam82 wrote:
It seems even for Aspies, I am one of the few who is still living with parents. Moving out seems a very daunting step for me to take. I can't function all that well on my own. I can't really afford to move (renting is very expensive here in Australia), and I am not in full time work at the moment, and haven't been in months.

Take it from a 29 year old who is year 1 alone that it gets easier as you get used to it. Yes, it is a daunting step but looking back it wasn't that difficult. Yes, renting is insanely expensive here too. I live in a lower income area in one of Canada's poorer provinces in a 50 year old building and still pay $815 a month in rent alone.
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I am the typical 30 y.o nerd still living in his parents basement. I didn't expect my life to end up this way.

I assumed I would have been married with 2 kids by this point. I know it's frustrating but remember even someone hopeless like me managed to pull it off. Let's just say there are MANY people here in Canada that are in the exact same situation.



DancingDanny
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29 Nov 2012, 5:43 am

Yeah, I'm living with the parents. I'm 26, I have a GED and I have a disability check coming in every month and I have a small part time job. I've had other jobs that I was fired quickly from for various reasons and I've had a temp job that didn't even seem to care if I showed up or not. I think I'm lucky that my boss has a Masters in Special Education, recognized my status but saw it as an asset and took a risk on me. I've had this job for about a year. I still take some time to review what else is out there and currently I am being trained at my job for other purposes pertaining to the job and for skills to develop to bring to the rest of the world. I have friends I've developed over a habit of going to concerts.



bdubs
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01 Dec 2012, 1:17 am

I still live at home with my folks at 25 years old. I work full time but have debt still. I dont mind it bc its saves me a lot of money and I get to spend time with my family. If I ever get a girlfriend I'll probably move out though.



zacb
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07 Dec 2012, 12:05 pm

At the current moment, I am working on my Associates in Econ, as well as working on an online site and staying with my parents. Still 18 though. If I play my cards right, I my be able to have a side income and be able to be more financially independent. So for at least another 3 years I will be living with them.



rhenning57
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13 Dec 2012, 12:11 am

I stayed at home with my parents until both of them died and I ended up buying their old house from my 2 sisters and staying on, now alone. Why did I stay? First I like the area I'm in and secondly I never either got a good enough job to afford my own place at an earlier age or get married. My response was to just say "maybe someday" and keep sending out the resumes. I have 2 MS degrees, one in water quality and one in computer science but no applicable experience so I have worked a succession of low level clerical and call center jobs. It was stay home, throw the folks some board money and be able to live OK or move out and be broke. Now that they're gone, I'm still underemployed (now 55 but discovered I was Aspie only about 7 years ago) and my standard of living is just base survival. Should I have moved out earlier or more aggressively looked to get married, perhaps, but I was too risk averse to do it without a secure (think state govt type) job that was enough to be family supporting money. So I stayed put thinking the wonderful days on the 1960's would come back and I would get a good job. But except for the late 90's when I got into IBM for a few years, it never happened. So what should you do if you are 25 and home? I would say be less risk averse and more open to relocation. Be less inclined to say "maybe someday" because when you get to middle age "maybe someday" can turn into probably never.



corastorm
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13 Dec 2012, 12:24 am

I am 34 and have been living on my own for 3 years. It is hard. Very hard. Every day. But it is also a lot more quiet, relaxed environment and I have more control over sensory input which is nice. I thought moving on my own would do wonders for my social life but no such luck.



howzat
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14 Dec 2012, 10:31 am

I am 26 years old and i still live with my mum however looking to move out in the future but only when i feel its the right time.



nerea59
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14 Dec 2012, 12:02 pm

I am, but in my country it's normal for young adults, especially young, single women like myself (I'm 26, btw), to live with their parents. I wish I could move out, though.



MissDorkness
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17 Dec 2012, 12:01 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I assumed I would have been married with 2 kids by this point. I know it's frustrating but remember even someone hopeless like me managed to pull it off. Let's just say there are MANY people here in Canada that are in the exact same situation.

My husband was 34 when we got engaged. So, by age 37, he was a parent of 2. :lol: I'm pretty sure his mother and sister were beginning to despair of ever getting him married off.
We'd met online through a professional site when he was 31 (I was 21), so that made it easier to get to know one another without awkwardness. It wasn't until we met in person for the first time that I saw how shy he was around me. It was really cute.
My ex was a real arrogant guy who constantly made me feel like I should be grateful just because he was with me and how everything I did was wrong, etc... so, seeing my shy guy insanely grateful and telling me what an awesome person I am pretty much sealed the deal.
It took a couple of months of effort for us to get past that initial bump of awkwardness, but, we knew that we just fit together and that was that for us.

His Mum doesn't always know what to make of me, though. lol. I can't stand loud noises or tons of people talking or shopping... and those are pretty much her main interests.



thesilentforce
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20 Dec 2012, 12:06 am

I'm 31 and I still live with my parents. I've been laid off 3 times during my working career, so it's been hard for me. I've been at my current job for 3 years now and starting to sack money away to move out.



matchalatte
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20 Dec 2012, 1:00 am

I'm 27 and living at home with my mother and younger brother (he's 24 and not on the spectrum, but has had his own issues). I've lived with a previous girlfriend in a shared apartment, in our own apartment, with her at her mother's apartment, on my own, and even on campus at college. At the end of the day, living outside my mother's house became too expensive because I'm putting all my effort towards college and being well (in multiple areas) so I don't have anything left of myself to put towards working at this point -- it's just where I am with things right now.

When I look at where other people are (especially NTs my age), it makes me feel like somehow I've done something wrong that I'm still at home. But when I think about it further, I've had so many things to deal with (not just being on the spectrum) that I was forced to spend my time on that rather than something else. Some of us are held back because of illness, others because of family situations, life situations, etc. It sometimes puts us in a different place than where we expect to be and it's invalidating because we didn't necessarily do anything wrong. We've just had more to do. After all, you can't expect someone to run 5k just as fast as someone else runs 1k...right? Having it take longer is sometimes more about the journey itself than how hard the person on the journey was working.

As for living at home, it can be difficult. I think that since my mother and I have learned to communicate better, things have been much, much better for both of us (she's NT, by the way). I try to voice my needs and tell her what is important to my progress and health. Likewise, she tells me what things are important to her that I do. We do our best and, most importantly, show that our needs are important to each other so we don't get resentful or angry or hurt. I know that she'd rather have her house to herself (not just because of me but my brother, too), but she also recognizes that I work very hard and this is where I need to be right now to get where we both want me to be -- self-sufficient, independent, happy, and with a college education.

It can be a difficult thing to be at home for any adult -- whether you're on the spectrum or not. I think, at least for me, keeping the lines of communication open was what helped things the most. :)


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ECJ
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20 Dec 2012, 10:54 am

I'm 30 and still living with my parents at home.



Appleisbetter
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23 Dec 2012, 11:54 pm

My uncle inlaw is 56 and still lives in a bungalow in his parents back yard every one calls him Gnomie for this reason.



MDD123
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24 Dec 2012, 1:26 am

I had an 8 year stint of not living with parents, but at 28, I moved back in so I could stay in school full time and not deal with roomates. It's crowded and I usually sleep in my car or on the couch, but I'm incentivized to learn as much as I can in school.



Kalika
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02 Jan 2013, 8:39 pm

Yes - moved back into my mom's house almost two years ago. And this was mainly due to financial issues beyond my control........I'd been working two part-time jobs, but got a pay cut and limit in hours at one, and was laid off at the other. (meanwhile, rent on my apartment kept going up, and it was getting really trashy after the new management company had taken over)



StitchehVee
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03 Jan 2013, 3:17 pm

I'm about to be 27 and I live with my parents. I moved out twice before with my exes. Big mistake. Next time it will be a friend.