I think personally that aspie women have a better chance at finding love than aspie men. The reason being that women typically don't have to make that first move in a relationship, which in my opinion is one of the hardest parts of dating. Whereas for men, aside from those rare cases where all the planets are in alignment, they are required to initiate. That step poses an even greater problem for people with Aspergers, as it does require a good deal of social finesse to ask someone out in a respectable and socially acceptable manner. There have been a few instances where women I considered fairly good friends no longer wanted to associate with me because I asked them out, simply because I misread their social cues and didn't really know what I was doing (after the last time I swore off asking out personal acquaintances). And of course, women can always initiate if they choose as well, so they simply have more options available to them, and finding love is often a numbers game in the end. Some people have said that there is a social stigma against women initiating, but I just don't see it. There was actually a discussion about this at my work not long ago and the consensus among the guys was unanimous that they would be incredibly flattered and appreciative if a woman approached them for a change.
Not to mention, a quick peek around these forums can be pretty revealing as well. There's usually at least a handful of posts a week from some guy in his 20s or 30s who has never had a girlfriend or been kissed, but seems to be mostly successful in life otherwise. There are a few posts like that from women as well, but they are very few and far between. And data has suggested that overall women are far more likely to reproduce than men, with recent DNA research suggesting that, historically, approximately 80% of women reproduce in their lifetimes, while only 40% of men do.
Now that said, I think that once actually in a relationship there is little difference between the sexes. Both will experience similar difficulties in terms of communication and whatnot. Aspie women may even have it harder in this case, as often the woman is expected to be the more social in a relationship. So while I think they may have the advantage in terms of finding love, I think it's an equal playing field in terms of 'keeping' love. And people of both genders have the possibility of finding the love of their life before they turn 20, or consequently either gender may end up living their whole lives without ever going on a date. So yes, there are some clear differences with respect to gender in terms of dating, but in the end people of both genders are largely after the same thing and will both experience their own unique set of issues and problems.
03 Dec 2012, 2:16 pm
