Girlfriend Ad

Post Reply New Topic

I would like a girlfriend, but I don't want to have to work hard at one, so I was considering putting writing an Ad in the form of a note on Facebook.

I thought I would seek the opinion of a hopefully more receptive audience (WrongPlanet), before I permanently attach this ad to my actual face and name. Any thoughts or opinions on it would be welcome.

Everything below the asterisks is a part of the Ad I am considering:

***************************************************************************************
Girlfriend Ad:

I've found that I work harder and my mood in general is better if I have a girlfriend. So I've decided to put out an ad on Facebook for one. I'm going to try to make this as easy and straightforward for everyone as possible.

My idea of the responsibilities of a relationship are:
1.You try your damdest to satisfy your partner.
2.You make things as easy as you can for your partner to do #1.

I would imagine that if both partners are working their hardest at numbers 1 and 2, then they don't actually have to work every hard, and the relationship should in general be a pleasure and a convenience.

So the way this ad is going to work is that I am going to fullfill my responsibility #2 to the whole world by telling you what you have to do to please me. Then, if you think that you can do those things, you will tell me so in a private message, and that will make me willing to fullfill responsibility #1 to you.


How NOT to please me:

Do not make me guess. I will not do it.

Do not play hard to get. I pretend like I don't understand what's going on when girls do this to me so that they find me unattractive and leave me alone.

Do not act like you're a princess who needs pampered. You are not a princess and you are not a child.

I find the above three things unattractive because it shows very clearly that the woman is not willing to fullfill responsibility #2. I would rather be celibate from now until my time of death than put up with this sort of nonsense.



What I value most in a relationship is this:
1.Entertainment
2.Companionship
3.Physical intimacy

In order to provide these things to me, you must:

Be a female between the ages of 18 and 25 (I could go a little higher if you're nice, but not any lower for legal reasons) who has some form of libido.

Be reasonably pretty. I think about 2/3 of the girls my age fullfill this requirement.

Demonstrate a certain level of intelligence.

Demonstrate emotional maturity.

Have some sort of hobby or interest in your own life that you work hard at.



About the intelligence requirement: This is necessary for a couple reasons. Talking is a part of a relationship, and it would be boring if the contents of your brain were void. It is also necessary because I am not very expressive nonverbally, and I'm likely to be even less expressive than usual in the presence of my partner, because I would hopefully feel comfortable enough around her not to feel as though I had to put on an act. That means that your empathy about me is wrong. The only way for you to compensate for that is to use your brain. I am aware that this is an inconvenience, and I try my best to make things easier on the people I care about. If you google “red hat white had riddle” and you are able to solve the riddle on your own in less than about 10min, then you are smart enough for me (I sovled it in about 10min when I was 10).

About the emotional maturity requirement: Emotional maturity for me means that you recognize that your emotions are arbitrary and have no inherent value. This is a fact and I'm not interested in arguing about it. If you understand this, then you will not expect people to know what you are feeling without being told, and you will respect other people's feelings even when they differ from your own. It also means that you will not act on your emotions without thinking like a dumb animal. Emotions are often self-contradictory and drive you towards your goals without any awareness of purpose, so taking them at face value always leads to a mess. However, this does not mean that it's bad to have emotions, or even to be overwhelmed by them sometimes. It is only bad when you have no awareness of them.



I am kind of like a puppy in that I am either taking care of bodily functions like eating and sleeping, or I am trying to entertain myself. I do not care much about how the entertainment is accomplished. So if you are interested in meeting me, then probably the easiest way for you to do it would be to introduce one of your interests to me. I will gladly participate in any physical activity apart from dancing, and any discussion about philosophy, religion, politics, or whatever, and I would be estatic if you are a nerdy math/physics girl and you could talk nerdy to me. Feeding me is also a good way to make me very happy.

The most common way I entertain myself when I'm by myself is to review school work (I'm in the school of engineering and I really enjoy the subject), or to play competetive video games online (recently I've been playing a game that is similar to Risk). I don't of course expect anyone to be interested in these things; it may really be better if we shared your interests instead.



I would be very pleased if I got some responses. I'm aware that this is very unusual and I'm not sure what the reception will be.

And yes, I am really this simple, and I will accept any girl as my girlfriend who can convince me that she fullfills the above requirements. I promise that if you can convince me that you aren't making things any harder on me than they have to be, that I will work very hard at the relationship responsibility #1 that I mentioned at the start of the ad. I am a guy, so I could take care of all my own material necessities with minimal effort, and that would be rather boring. I WANT to work hard, just so long as my work is beign put to good use.

And I would guess that it would probably interest some women to know that I am about 1.5-2 years from finishing my degree, and assuming that I get hired afterward, I will be financially independent at that point (in other words, I'm not financially independent right now).

You are making it too much about you and what you want. The point isn't for her to submit to you. Even if you don't mean to, that's how it comes across. If she answers your ad and submits to you like what you are asking, she will act like a pampered child, which is what you are explicitly not asking for. This needs some major touching up, consistency-wise.

[img]mod%20edit:%20removed%20due%20to%20unfiltered%20swearing[/img]

.

Pass on the ad and see a counselor to fine tune how you approach relationships.

I personally don't think it's a good idea in the least. No offense, but I don't see it getting you anything other than ridicule. Perhaps good in theory, but bad in practice.

I don't see anything wrong with it. I think he's being very honest and straightforward. Whats wrong with that? He's at least trying.

I volunteer my boyfriend to be your girlfriend. Close enough?

--== I've found that I work harder and my mood in general is better if I have a girlfriend. So I've decided to put out an ad on Facebook for one. ==--


That line right there, is a major problem area i think.

Women are not there for your personal amusement and entertainment - they are also not to be used as a security blanket to make you a happier or healthier person.

A relationship is something that you WANT, that you are prepared to WORK at, that should be a BALANCE between 2 people's interests, hobbies and hardships. Your advert seems a little like you want someone to sell you a sofa?

Please excuse harsh criticsm - but it sounds like if a girl gives you grief regarding your points, you seem at a right to replace her - and thats not really going to work unless you can find a girl that doesnt mind handing in her brain at the door...

It's almost certainly a terrible idea........But the social scientist in me is also curious about the kind of response it might get.

Rather than posting it on facebook and attaching your name to it, I think you should include it in a profile on okcupid or some other dating site and keep us updated on what happens.......

are you posting that on your wall?