some aspie women get dates,other aspie women can't

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Catharascotia
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29 Dec 2012, 9:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
alex wrote:
LonelyLoner wrote:
Looks help, but it's not everything:/
Definitely true. You could be super attractive, but unless you're giving out the right signals, it'll be harder.

A supermodel who acts like an angry robot may be pleasant to behold, but a total pain once you get to know her.


Ah, but if the girl is plain, people aren't going to get to know her in the first place.



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29 Dec 2012, 10:09 pm

LonelyLoner wrote:
Looks help, but it's not everything:/


Definitely true. You could be super attractive, but unless you're giving out the right signals, it'll be harder.


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BlueMax
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29 Dec 2012, 10:11 pm

Fnord wrote:
A supermodel who acts like an angry robot may be pleasant to behold, but a total pain once you get to know her.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjtF7PwqcPw[/youtube]
Wrong gender, but sure works.. ;)



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30 Dec 2012, 12:09 pm

SINsister wrote:
Boxman108 wrote:
If it is a flaw for guys to be shy or quiet, it should be the same for the other gender if we are to have equality.


So you put a lot of stake into our "society's" gender rules and roles, then, I'm guessing?

Personally, I happen to adore quiet/shy guys. One never knows what's lurking beneath that reserved demeanor... :twisted:


This only works for so long. When they continue to be mysterious and refusing to open for a certain amount of time people lose interest in the person.

I have had two occasions where woman either continue to use the "You don't know me that well" and you ask why is that the case (not pushing them), or outright not expand their horizons in opinions that maybe taboo at first but talked about when you have a certain level of trust.

It happens with men too...the mysterious side eventually becomes boring if you don't progress that so you are the trusted one for them to reveal more of themselves.

I don't mind shy/quiet girls but if they remain that around someone they trust (even if other people say that they seem more open towards you), I lose interest as that will be their maximum limit of letting someone in...and I couldn't live with zero excitement....I want to hear something new about them at least at a consistent pace so I go "Wow, I never knew you x!". It breathes new life into a relationship.


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30 Dec 2012, 3:26 pm

alex wrote:
LonelyLoner wrote:
Looks help, but it's not everything:/


Definitely true. You could be super attractive, but unless you're giving out the right signals, it'll be harder.


I think thats true. I read somewhere that looks can open doors but they don't stay open without the personality. In the case of an attractive aspie female. A guy might approach her, make small talk but if she doesn't reply much and not show much interest, its not really gonna go anywhere. And she might have trouble reading the signals that the guy is interested.



IWasWrong
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30 Dec 2012, 3:34 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
alex wrote:
LonelyLoner wrote:
Looks help, but it's not everything:/


Definitely true. You could be super attractive, but unless you're giving out the right signals, it'll be harder.


I think thats true. I read somewhere that looks can open doors but they don't stay open without the personality. In the case of an attractive aspie female. A guy might approach her, make small talk but if she doesn't reply much and not show much interest, its not really gonna go anywhere. And she might have trouble reading the signals that the guy is interested.


Which is why I think online dating is the future of humanity. "Wanna date?" "Ok. Somewhere public though because you could be a wierdo." Problem solved. Doesn't matter how plain or ugly you think you look, you will find that people's standards can be a mirror reflection of yours. So unless you've got ridiculously high standards, I can't imagine you not getting a date there.

That's of course if you can build up the confidence to do online dating... for me that was the hardest part.



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25 Feb 2013, 5:09 pm

billiscool wrote:
I wonder about this today. Why is that some aspie women can get a boyfriend with no problem.
Have guys approach them. Get ask out.
but other aspie women can't get a boyfriend. Never get guys to approach them or ask them out.
is looks the issues. I don't like saying this but are the aspie women who can get boyfriends are they just
better looking than the one's who can't
or are they just nicer? and the aspie women who can't get boyfriend, just rude.
or mistaken as rude.


be glad you don't have to approach or initiate



The Abdominal Snowman
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25 Oct 2017, 4:18 am

Quote:
I don't mind shy/quiet girls but if they remain that around someone they trust (even if other people say that they seem more open towards you), I lose interest as that will be their maximum limit of letting someone in...and I couldn't live with zero excitement

You mean you lose interest if it becomes clear to you they'll never put out.



Sometime World
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25 Oct 2017, 4:39 am

From what I've witnessed of aspie women that are single, its down to weight. Aspie women that are obese and expect a normal or fit guy = struggle.

Many Aspie women (and men) are shut-ins that love computers. This is a disaster lifestyle for weight gain.

I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

It's no different from NT folk.


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25 Oct 2017, 5:24 pm

Honestly, those who can't are more rare than pandas.

Finger-counting is enough to count them here.



The Abdominal Snowman
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25 Oct 2017, 5:41 pm

Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.



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26 Oct 2017, 4:47 am

The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.


I'm a good candidate! I have gone down from a rotund 189lbs / 26% to a rather lean (for my age) 171lbs 17%. Yet still can't get a date and am the invisible man.

Even when I was super lean in my early-mid 20's none was interested. When a woman go's from fat to lean (or just average) the whole town celebrates, men begin queuing up and she now becomes quite egotistical & selective.

Male disposability, eh. :( But I must pretend its all in my head and I'm ill and need help.

Better keep the k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ loonies off the forum.


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26 Oct 2017, 4:52 am

Sometime World wrote:
The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.


I'm a good candidate! I have gone down from a rotund 189lbs / 26% to a rather lean (for my age) 171lbs 17%. Yet still can't get a date and am the invisible man.

Even when I was super lean in my early-mid 20's none was interested. When a woman go's from fat to lean (or just average) the whole town celebrates, men begin queuing up and she now becomes quite egotistical & selective.

Male disposability, eh. :( But I must pretend its all in my head and I'm ill and need help.

Better keep the k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ loonies off the forum.


It’s unlikely your looks. No one was probably interested because of your aspergers traits.

It’s the same with me. I’m overlooked, ignored and not remembered. I’m guessing it’s a certain type of social signal I don’t know how to put out.

You’re so hung up on looks. It won’t be that at all.



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26 Oct 2017, 4:57 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Sometime World wrote:
The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.


I'm a good candidate! I have gone down from a rotund 189lbs / 26% to a rather lean (for my age) 171lbs 17%. Yet still can't get a date and am the invisible man.

Even when I was super lean in my early-mid 20's none was interested. When a woman go's from fat to lean (or just average) the whole town celebrates, men begin queuing up and she now becomes quite egotistical & selective.

Male disposability, eh. :( But I must pretend its all in my head and I'm ill and need help.

Better keep the k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ loonies off the forum.


It’s unlikely your looks. No one was probably interested because of your aspergers traits.

It’s the same with me. I’m overlooked, ignored and not remembered. I’m guessing it’s a certain type of social signal I don’t know how to put out.

You’re so hung up on looks. It won’t be that at all.


*counting on fingers*

H.... One

C.....Two

S....Thre- ... ah no, this one got a bf recently.

HP....Three!


I still have one and half hand free for counting.



Sometime World
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26 Oct 2017, 5:45 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Sometime World wrote:
The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.


I'm a good candidate! I have gone down from a rotund 189lbs / 26% to a rather lean (for my age) 171lbs 17%. Yet still can't get a date and am the invisible man.

Even when I was super lean in my early-mid 20's none was interested. When a woman go's from fat to lean (or just average) the whole town celebrates, men begin queuing up and she now becomes quite egotistical & selective.

Male disposability, eh. :( But I must pretend its all in my head and I'm ill and need help.

Better keep the k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ loonies off the forum.


It’s unlikely your looks. No one was probably interested because of your aspergers traits.

It’s the same with me. I’m overlooked, ignored and not remembered. I’m guessing it’s a certain type of social signal I don’t know how to put out.

You’re so hung up on looks. It won’t be that at all.



Stop clinging to straws. My aspergers isn't apparent. I approach girls, I speak well, I maintain eye contact. I don't have ticks or jolt my head around making sheep sounds. I'm not the classical Rain Man autist you think we all are as portrayed by Dustin Hoffman.

Did I make you feel guilty about all those men you disliked, rejected or didn't want to get to know cuz of their looks?

Where are they now? Are they still single?


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26 Oct 2017, 1:27 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Sometime World wrote:
The Abdominal Snowman wrote:
Quote:
I remember watching a youtube once of an aspie woman that was 26yo, 210lbs, jobless, dateless, lived with her mom. A shut-in / recluse. When she got down to 125lbs in 16 months through gym there was a stream of men knocking on her door, even though her economic status remained the same (jobless, lived at home).

A really good video would be one where they compare her to an aspie guy in similar situation that loses weight.


I'm a good candidate! I have gone down from a rotund 189lbs / 26% to a rather lean (for my age) 171lbs 17%. Yet still can't get a date and am the invisible man.

Even when I was super lean in my early-mid 20's none was interested. When a woman go's from fat to lean (or just average) the whole town celebrates, men begin queuing up and she now becomes quite egotistical & selective.

Male disposability, eh. :( But I must pretend its all in my head and I'm ill and need help.

Better keep the k̶n̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ loonies off the forum.


It’s unlikely your looks. No one was probably interested because of your aspergers traits.

It’s the same with me. I’m overlooked, ignored and not remembered. I’m guessing it’s a certain type of social signal I don’t know how to put out.

You’re so hung up on looks. It won’t be that at all.


That is utterly ridiculous. Looks matter, an ugly man or ugly woman won’t get relationships period.
Also you’ve had relationships and sex, hardly comparable to men who haven’t had either.
You don’t know what it’s truely like to be overlooked and irgnored. Aren’t you choosing to be single cause your prefer it?
Even hurtloam has guys interested but she doesn’t like them back.
I’ve never had s relationship. Only had sex once and it was awful, certain haven had it bunch of times with different people. I can’t get s dst and women never show interest or flirt with me. Most I get is angry glares or women in relationships who’ll say high to me.

Not saying you don’t have it tough, but hardly comparable to aspie men who’ve never had female so much look their way.