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Summer_Twilight
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22 Dec 2012, 12:01 am

I had gone to a close friend's 30th Birthday Party who also has Asperger's Syndrome earlier this evening. He had invited an array of people including a girl who is part of a singles group in her early 30's. She said yes on the invitation and said she was going to bring another friend of her's over to the party.

However, I had heard from my friend that she told him she was not feeling well when I first arrived at the party and he came up to me about it. I asked if she called and he said that she told him on FB. When I looked she had written on the invite at the last minute that she was not going to make it because she suddenly did NOT feel up to it. She did not really give a reason though. She then said that she wanted re-schedule and go out to lunch with him next week.

He took her comment as "Not feeling well" and "Under the Weather."

Factors though- The weather is chilly and windy, and she seemed to be disappointed about something earlier today by mentioning on FB about not letting some issue ruin her Christmas. So I don't know.

On the other hand: She has said yes on some things of mine a few things and then say maybe and then stand me up.

So what do you think? Excuse or good reason?



NorthPark
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22 Dec 2012, 12:10 am

Good reason. She probably wanted some room


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yellowtamarin
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22 Dec 2012, 12:11 am

I...don't know. Does it matter? Not feeling up to it as a good reason, though. I wish, as an aspie, I felt comfortable giving that reason for not attending things. She doesn't really need any more reason than that.



Summer_Twilight
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22 Dec 2012, 12:29 am

I looked her her comment again and she said:
" I am sorry but my friend and I will not be able to come over. Have a wonderful Birthday! I am hoping in the future to meet for lunch before month is out. I did not feel like going out. Sorry!" Paraphrased.

As much as I see the reasons, it seemed like an excuse to me. I have seen other people pull this on me many times where they give the "I'm sorry but..." line and then say they will call me in a few days or do this or that really soon.

Then again, she does not know him that well and only spent a few times with him and he already invited to her to party. So maybe she is uncomfortable but still. I thought it was very rude.



Sharkgirl
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22 Dec 2012, 3:42 am

As an aspie I am doing this a lot whilst my intention was to go to an event when the day comes quite often I am overwhelmed and can't go. I used to come up with elaborate excuses. Now I just let people know I've had a lot on and ill see if I can make it on the day and let them know closer depending on how I feel. I don't feel guilty about lying anymore.


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Summer_Twilight
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22 Dec 2012, 9:25 am

I see your point Sharkgirl. This girl isn't on the spectrum though. In fact, she is an NT and mainly hangs out with a set of NTs too.

I really feel that she was afraid of feeling uncomfortable around my friend who has AS and does not communicate very well. She might have also been uncomfortable around all of us too.

In fact, she was going to bring a close friend of her's with her to the party who my friend did not invite. While people bring newbies to parties all the time, I don't think it was a good idea since she just met my friend. He has been wanting to invite her.